Size and Colour DO matter!

"Were you ever told you shouldn't wear such and such a colour, because "well quite frankly dear, you're too fat!"

Or have you been told that because you're a size 20 then why do you expect to be able to buy a choice of clothes that fit you?

These comments have been made to me, and about me, too often.

I used to feel miserable because I couldn't buy anything to fit, and as for expecting to get anything sexy or colourful, well forget it, sister.

Over the years too I've managed to read some excellent books by women from around the world on how to increase self esteem, and many of them even gave examples of how I could dress to make the most of myself. For others, there's no doubt these books would have achieved what they set out to do. But for some reason they didn't work for me.

My cousin in South Australia sent me an old copy of an Australian newsletter dealing with plus-size self esteem issues. This newsletter presented news and advice on how to increase knowledge about yourself and knowledge of where to buy larger size clothes here in Australia. There's a lot available overseas, but we can't all afford to buy from overseas. And there's a lot of confusion about the safety/security of buying from places like eBay.

For some reason I kept that small newsletter. I put it away in my small bedside table drawer, and forgot about it.

Until. My partner walked out on me. I was plus-size when we met, and I hadn't gained weight all the time we were together. But suddenly I was thrown into turmoil and had to clean out the flat we had shared for more than 8 years. I had to face the fact he no longer saw me as someone he'd like to spend his life with. 

Added to that of course I started along the route of self pity and self hate - if I wasn't so fat he wouldn't have left me - if I wasn't so fat he would still love me - if I wasn't so fat ..... Maybe if I lost the weight he'd come back. He won't, whatever I do. And quite honestly I don't want him to cme back, now!

I cleaned up the flat. I packed my cases and with a few small items of furniture I moved into a flat I could call my own. And one evening while feeling really sorry for myself, I rummaged through the bedside table looking for perhaps a block of chocolate that maybe I'd hidden there, and I pulled out that old newsletter.

I couldn't believe it. It was opened at a small article written by the editor to some of her friends who had all, without exception, experienced the same thing as I had. Their husbands/partners had recently walked out.

And this small article went on to say we should never, ever, tell ourselves that it was because we were fat that this had happened; because these relationships would probably have broken down even if we were slender like Elle McPherson or Jennifer Hawkins (not too sure if we even have leading Australian models anymore!)

If it was because we were fat, then why didn't the same thing occur with men? Women don't usually leave their husbands because they get fat, or get thin. The reason is usually much deeper than that.

You know, I needed to re-read that article. I needed to be told that I was me, and that I was important, if not to somebody else at the time, then definitely to me.

So I took the next step. I looked at my size and decided I WOULD wear colours that I wanted to.   If those particular colours didn't suit me, my own reflection in the mirror would soon tell me.   I would search for clothes to make me feel good about myself. If I couldn't buy them anywhere, I'd sew them for myself

I decided I would turn the world around, so that MY size and colour WILL MATTER. What have I learned from all this? I've learned that I matter - to myself.

And as a footnote I'd like to say I've come to realise I am just like thousands of other women. The fact that I'm bigger than "ideal" has nothing to do with me, as a person."

© Autumn Parry - Big Issues

Background

 © 1994 Rosemary Parry-Brock Davidson

the uniquely original Australian self-esteem initiative for the curvaceous woman –

 in fact all women, regardless of age, shape and size

OUR MOTTO?   “womanhood should be celebrated – in style – no matter what age, shape or size”©

RoseMary’s NoteBook© began its life in Australia more than thirty-three years ago in response to pleas from professional women in the workplace for a newsletter with a positive message. At that time there were no newsletters other than in-house publications, and of course the internet and emails were a thing of the future! So the NoteBook© as it is fondly known grew out of a need to bring women together through the pages of a newsletter that was outside of the national magazines, but through which they could feel a part of, as it grew and developed over the years.

As many of my administration colleagues throughout Australia were women size 16 plus!, they in turn asked that issues that impacted upon their lives should be confronted in the newsletter. Thus a focus began to appear where women of size were able to communicate their concerns dealing with especially discrimination. They shared their copies of the newsletter with their friends and families. Quite often their copy became dog-eared as it was shared around the workplace and even sent overseas.

It seemed natural that the newsletter should take on the role of acting as an advocate for larger women, in an era where there was no other publication of its kind in Australia that provided positive self-esteem initiatives. RoseMary’s NoteBook© continues to provide this incentive to this day.

However with its aim to “inspire women of all ages to look beyond their shape and size, and to realise their full potential” (c) it then took on new elements, as women of all ages, shapes and sizes from all walks of life discovered that the “notebook” related to them and their daily lives. What started out as a small one page newsletter grew to sometimes 100 pages which meant it could no longer fit into the post-boxes of our readers. Because RoseMary’s NoteBook© has always been a personal project without sponsorship of any sort, the costs involved in ensuring its continuation meant that it became unfeasible and unmanageable to remain as a paper-based publication.

Modern times call for modern thinking. After surveying readers, it became apparent they would prefer eNewsletters sent as pdfs through emails. Having adapted to that concept early in 2005 we found this remained the most favoured and popular method of distribution. However it became obvious that the NoteBook had to have an on-line presence. The reaction of many readers was surprising in that they didn’t want to go on-line to read their newsletter each month. They preferred their copy via email, but not online. Other women embraced the idea without hesitation.

I therefore decided to expand the potential of RoseMary’s NoteBook© by creating its own blog. This allows me to run two parts of the concept in parallel – one on-line as the blog which is completely different to the second option newsletter sent by email format which continues to this day.

SUMMARY

In a world besotted with “perfection”, there remain today hundreds of thousands of women who feel they don’t meet the “ideal” set by the media (particularly "social media"), the fashion industry and society itself in many instances. The team at RoseMary's NoteBook© believe in our small way, we can make a difference to the lives of many women who lack self-confidence. Testimonials from women around the world verify to the fact that our small publications over the past thirty odd years have improved their self-confidence and impacted positively upon their lives.

The original concept, aims and objectives of inspiring women to look beyond their shape and size, in order to realise their full potential, remains exactly the same today as it was when we first started this journey. Our eNewsletters (and other publications) present “positive” messages in a negative world.

This newsletter forms part of the concept of RoseMary’s NoteBook©, including newsletters & other booklets & publications dealing with motivational short courses for women of all ages & all shapes and sizes.

RoseMary’s NoteBook© continues to break down antiquated attitudes about size & inspires women to look at themselves as healthy sensual women rather than that of being merely “plus- size” or “too thin”.

During the past 20 years or more, and with the advance in technology whereby information is more easily accessible and shareable, many hundreds (if not thousands) of women of like mind have created their own websites, blogs and forums.

Everyone associated with RoseMary’s NoteBook© (women who participate in a variety of ways) has great empathy and a capacity for understanding issues that impact upon women’s lives in today’s world. 

With strong Christian ethics and principles, we believe all women deserve to be treated with the utmost respect and courtesy In fact we go so far as to say that “womanhood should be celebrated – in style – no matter what age, shape or size”©.

UPDATE:   Due to increased fascination with the core elements of RoseMary's NoteBook© in recent times, I decided to update the Background of my publications, so that new readers can grasp the ideas behind the concept.

Postscript:    "Perfection" in the human form is not really attainable - 

for one person's idea of perfection is not necessarily that of others.

  

We all aim to be respected, appreciated, complimented,

held in high regard, and treated with kindness. 

A person's looks, size, weight, shape 

should never be the subject of: 

impolite/rude/insulting/contempuous/

discourteous /insulting/abusive humour

 or behaviour on the part of others.