Background

 © 1994 Rosemary Parry-Brock Davidson

the uniquely original Australian self-esteem initiative for the curvaceous woman –

 in fact all women, regardless of age, shape and size

OUR MOTTO?   “womanhood should be celebrated – in style – no matter what age, shape or size”©

RoseMary’s NoteBook© began its life in Australia more than thirty-three years ago in response to pleas from professional women in the workplace for a newsletter with a positive message. At that time there were no newsletters other than in-house publications, and of course the internet and emails were a thing of the future! So the NoteBook© as it is fondly known grew out of a need to bring women together through the pages of a newsletter that was outside of the national magazines, but through which they could feel a part of, as it grew and developed over the years.

As many of my administration colleagues throughout Australia were women size 16 plus!, they in turn asked that issues that impacted upon their lives should be confronted in the newsletter. Thus a focus began to appear where women of size were able to communicate their concerns dealing with especially discrimination. They shared their copies of the newsletter with their friends and families. Quite often their copy became dog-eared as it was shared around the workplace and even sent overseas.

It seemed natural that the newsletter should take on the role of acting as an advocate for larger women, in an era where there was no other publication of its kind in Australia that provided positive self-esteem initiatives. RoseMary’s NoteBook© continues to provide this incentive to this day.

However with its aim to “inspire women of all ages to look beyond their shape and size, and to realise their full potential” (c) it then took on new elements, as women of all ages, shapes and sizes from all walks of life discovered that the “notebook” related to them and their daily lives. What started out as a small one page newsletter grew to sometimes 100 pages which meant it could no longer fit into the post-boxes of our readers. Because RoseMary’s NoteBook© has always been a personal project without sponsorship of any sort, the costs involved in ensuring its continuation meant that it became unfeasible and unmanageable to remain as a paper-based publication.

Modern times call for modern thinking. After surveying readers, it became apparent they would prefer eNewsletters sent as pdfs through emails. Having adapted to that concept early in 2005 we found this remained the most favoured and popular method of distribution. However it became obvious that the NoteBook had to have an on-line presence. The reaction of many readers was surprising in that they didn’t want to go on-line to read their newsletter each month. They preferred their copy via email, but not online. Other women embraced the idea without hesitation.

I therefore decided to expand the potential of RoseMary’s NoteBook© by creating its own blog. This allows me to run two parts of the concept in parallel – one on-line as the blog which is completely different to the second option newsletter sent by email format which continues to this day.

SUMMARY

In a world besotted with “perfection”, there remain today hundreds of thousands of women who feel they don’t meet the “ideal” set by the media (particularly "social media"), the fashion industry and society itself in many instances. The team at RoseMary's NoteBook© believe in our small way, we can make a difference to the lives of many women who lack self-confidence. Testimonials from women around the world verify to the fact that our small publications over the past thirty odd years have improved their self-confidence and impacted positively upon their lives.

The original concept, aims and objectives of inspiring women to look beyond their shape and size, in order to realise their full potential, remains exactly the same today as it was when we first started this journey. Our eNewsletters (and other publications) present “positive” messages in a negative world.

This newsletter forms part of the concept of RoseMary’s NoteBook©, including newsletters & other booklets & publications dealing with motivational short courses for women of all ages & all shapes and sizes.

RoseMary’s NoteBook© continues to break down antiquated attitudes about size & inspires women to look at themselves as healthy sensual women rather than that of being merely “plus- size” or “too thin”.

During the past 20 years or more, and with the advance in technology whereby information is more easily accessible and shareable, many hundreds (if not thousands) of women of like mind have created their own websites, blogs and forums.

Everyone associated with RoseMary’s NoteBook© (women who participate in a variety of ways) has great empathy and a capacity for understanding issues that impact upon women’s lives in today’s world. 

With strong Christian ethics and principles, we believe all women deserve to be treated with the utmost respect and courtesy In fact we go so far as to say that “womanhood should be celebrated – in style – no matter what age, shape or size”©.

UPDATE:   Due to increased fascination with the core elements of RoseMary's NoteBook© in recent times, I decided to update the Background of my publications, so that new readers can grasp the ideas behind the concept.

Postscript:    "Perfection" in the human form is not really attainable - 

for one person's idea of perfection is not necessarily that of others.

  

We all aim to be respected, appreciated, complimented,

held in high regard, and treated with kindness. 

A person's looks, size, weight, shape 

should never be the subject of: 

impolite/rude/insulting/contempuous/

discourteous /insulting/abusive humour

 or behaviour on the part of others.

MISSING HUGS?

Hello dear friends,

Should you wish to try a novel way of still retaining your social-distancing while at the same time gain the satisfaction and feeling of well-being, then here’s a great way of ensuring you don’t miss out without treating yourself to a “hug” or two.

(The following article is from National Seniors Australia newsletter received this week. Quoted verbatim.)

HUGS ARE OK ... REALLY!

While Australians are getting through the COVID-19 lockdown by using technology to hook up, panic buy and home school, Iceland's forestry service has come up with a novel way to overcome the people’s sense of isolation.

They have opened up their forests so people can hug the trees and in the words of a senior ranger “get the energy from [them].”

Top tips

And yes, some hugs are better than others.

"It's good to close your eyes while hugging a tree. I press my cheek against it and feel the warmth and currents flowing from the tree into me... it starts in your toes, runs up your legs and through your body into your brain. You get such a good relaxing feeling that are ready for a new day and new challenges," the Ranger says. 

Don't rush

They’re a thoughtful lot, these Icelanders. The Rangers have cut paths through the forest snow at Hallormsstadur so people can get close to the trees, and the paths are, of course, wide enough for people to keep the two-metre distance.

For us in Australia it might be good to check your tree first before leaning in for a hug to ensure there are no stinging ants, spiders or anything else that may detract from the experience.

EDITOR'S NOTE: So if you see people rushing through our streets to choose the tree they wish to hug, give a moments thought to the poor old trees. To have been ignored for hundreds of years, and now to be the subject of “love” and “hugs”. Well ..... just goes to show, how the world can change in the blink of an eye!

“COMPASS” - Last Sunday 17th May 2020, on the ABC

My friend Bill Crews and his Exodus Foundation at the Ashfield Uniting Church in Ashfield, New South Wales, was the subject of the Compass show last Sunday evening at 6.30 p.m.,, depicting how Exodus had adapted to the countless restrictions brought upon them by the Covid19 pandemic.

As with numerous other agencies and organisations, Exodus was faced with having to close down, thus putting thousands of homeless and poor Sydney citizens at risk, not only of no longer having meals, but also the risk of contracting the virus. Exodus is not just one or two people who are dispensing welfare; it has hundreds of people involved in one way or another. It is an organisation that protects the people who come into its sphere. Caring, sharing, giving, loving.

With social distancing and people having to isolate, the Ashfield church had to close its doors from their weekly services. So Bill took the service out-doors so that people wouldn’t miss out on their spiritual needs. Then the restrictions became stronger, and social distancing ultimately meant they could not provide the church service in the grounds. So Bill did what he always does. Thinks outside of the square. He began to send his parishioners emailed (those who have computers and emails) programmes for each Sunday’s service. And this included the You-tube “messages”.

As far as caring for the homeless and destitute, it looked as though the whole project would collapse. Exodus provides a shower; endeavours to give some of their “people” housing; somewhere where they can do such a simple thing as charge their phone. And that’s the only start of things.

Submissions were made to the government to have Exodus proclaimed an “essential service”. This was denied. At first. But Bill and his crew don’t give in that easily, and so a further submission was made, as restrictions became more severe.

They have a team of people who check each person’s temperature; provide meals; provide counselling. And the night-time Van that goes to Wooloomooloo 364 nights a year (the only exception being New Year’s Eve), takes hot meals to those people in that area. And it’s when the viewer sees the queues of people who all need a warm meal, that we who are fortunate in having warm clothes, a warm meal, in a warm room, realise just what life is like outside of our room. People who are cold, people who are hungry. People who have no money. People who have no home. People who are at risk - physically and emotionally. And then there’s the damned coronavirus to contend with.

That’s just a little of the story that was shown on the ABC last Sunday night. If you did not catch this on TV, then take a few minutes and watch it. It will open your eyes.

From Christine, Sydney, New South Wales

“Cafe’s are open and I see numbers of people shopping and wandering about munching fingers to mouth, and back to wandering and shopping. So suspect the next wave of virus will be created by folk who forget the necessity of personal hygiene. Until observing this I had not used sanitiser and gloves in my bag BUT instinct pushes me to begin now! Maybe it was just the supermarket but coughing and sneezing without plunging head into elbow seems forgotten .... we are a very strange species."

SYMPTOMS OF COVID 19

As my readers know from old, I’m very strong on sharing information - especially when it is important information. When speaking with some of my friends most of whom are in their 80s (although I’m proud to say I count many others in their early 50s and 60s as my loyal readers), there seems to be a bit of confusion as to the symptoms of this virulent disease. Here’s a rundown for you.

Most common symptoms 
* fever
* dry cough
* tiredness

Less common symptoms * aches and pains
* sore throat
* diarrhoea
* conjunctivitis
* headache
* loss of taste or smell
* a rash on skin, or discolouration of fingers or toes

Serious symptoms
* difficulty breathing or shortness of breath * chest pain or pressure
* loss of speech or movement

Seek immediate medical attention if you have serious symptoms. Always call before visiting your doctor or health facility.

People with mild symptoms who are otherwise healthy should manage their symptoms at home. On average it takes 5-6 days from when someone is infected with the virus for symptoms o show, however it can take up to 14 days.

Fondest regards

QUOTATION for the DAY

When people have light in themselves, 

it will shine out from them

then we get to know each other as we walk together 

through the darkness,

without needing to pass our hands over each other's faces, 

or to intrude into each other's hearts.

.... Albert chweitzer - 1875-1965

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

GETTING REAL!

Someone sent me this fun cartoon.   It certainly made me smile, but it also reminded me that we are living in a society where "perfection" as it applies to the female form, has taken a turning where normal or typical is no longer seen as being totally acceptable.

Today to be "seen" as acceptable a woman has to be:  young - slim (if not skinny); svelte (with no bumps or curves); sexy (what exactly is sexy?) and most importantly young.

How has this come about?   What has changed from the 1950s ,,,,,,?  

A lot happened.  Firstly the 1960s brought about a swing in attitudes - of life as well as behaviours.   The fact that Jean Shrimpton wore a knee length shift (dress) at the Melbourne Cup, WITHOUT a hat or gloves (oh, dear! what was the world coming to?) caused loud headlines in the press.  But that's too easy to say that her decision to wear an outrageous dress - for the era that is - caused the change in attitudes to women's shapes and sizes.  But it certainly was one of the factors that started the ball rolling.

We all shortened our hemlines.  We lowered our necklines.   Everything was free and easy.   But for the plump and curvaceous woman, that was also the start of an inherent and growing animosity towards the way SHE looked.   Size discrimination rose to greater heights and it became apparent in film, television, the media per se.  Women's magazines took on the role of telling their readers to diet, to undergo cosmetic surgery, to attend the latest and very expensive gyms in order to attain the lean, sleak bodies of more naturally slim women.  They didn't tell their readers that it was OK to be a different size or shape and that all sizes could be considered normal or typical.   Manufacturers began to treat the curvaceous woman with scorn and retailers hid clothes for her size in a tiny section at the back of the department store.   It took many years for "plus-size" suppliers to come out of the woodwork.

So that's where the whole thing went haywire.   For all women are NOT fundamentally the same shape or are meant to be the same size.   Women were told they HAD to diet;  they did and many did far more damage to their bodies and minds through yo-yo dieting over decades than they could have imagined.   Somebody forgot to tell them that genes play a bit part in their body makeup (in fact it was only recently that the medical people have acknowledged this to be true - it was argued about heatedly in previous decades.)

What happened next?  Suddenly eating disorders became prominent.   A whole new industry was born whereby people were counselled about disorders in their eating behaviours.  The human body, and mind,  suffered serious consequences.  Not only women but men and children are affected.   In all age groups.

What am I trying to say?   I'm saying it's about time we realised that the world is made up of people who look different, who have differnent shapes and sizes, and we should recognise and respect each other unconditionally.

(I'm not talking here of those who are addicted to non-stop eating, or eating inappropriate foods until they really do become medically and dangerously obese.   Nor am I talking about those people whose bodies react violently to the medications they may be taking.)

Let's join in the protest (albeit quietly but determinedly) 

that ALL women's bodies and shapes should be 

celebrated, no matter what age, size or shape ©.  

IF YOU BECOME ANGRY

When and if  you become angry

at how you now feel about life

angry at how you look;

angry about regrets;

angry at the things which you feel you are missing out on;

angry at bad decisions made;

angry about past experiences;

angry at certain people;

 and you don’t confront that anger and deal with it

then you successfully stifle

your own maturity and development.

If you want to stay in the mire of uncertainly and insecurity, do nothing

 - but take the responsibility for doing nothing

Others cannot be continually blamed for how you see yourself and your life if you are not open to taking charge and channeling your talents and energy into positive and right-thinking ideas and goals.  Don’t put others in a position where they have to feel guilty about your situation - just acept every person for who and what they are - preferably seeing the good points and appreciating those good points.    And how about recognising YOUR own good points?

And if others don’t fit into your perspective of decent and worthwhile people, then look elsewhere for your friendship.  This also applies to families, - quite often a family member can be a hindrance fo one’s own self-esteem and self-confidence.  Treat them with the respect they deserve - no more, no less, but don’t waste time on them.

Time is far too short to conentrate on negative people and negative situations.  Rise above the depressions and cloudy outlooks of life, and learn to look at yourself and see youself as a valuable person, and you’ll not only be a better person but certainly a happier one.  You don’t have to be popular, but at least it can be said of you that you know yourself, and accept yourself, and maybe before long you may find yourself considered by friends and foes alike as being a person who is straight forward and still nice to know.

.....© Rosemary P-B

WHAT IS SELF ESTEEM?

It’s many things. Here are some of them.

Self esteem is learning to like yourself (as you are!). Self esteem is learning to see yourself as a friend would see you, as a person worthy of respect. Self esteem is learning that it is not being selfish if you want things - perhaps you’d like to go to university; you’d like to have a top flight career; and you’d like to dress well.

Self esteem is learning that people from all sorts of walks of life should treat you with respect and courtesy. Self esteem is learning that your health and fitness should be seen as being of the same worth as a more petite and younger person. Self esteem is learning that your opinions should be respected. Self esteem is learning that your intelligence should never be questioned. Self esteem is learning that how you dress is your choice and that you shouldn’t be expected to accept derision or contempt. Self esteem is learning that you have a special place in this universe, and no one has the right to take this away from you.

Self esteem is learning that you have rights. Rights that may include being able to choose for yourself those things that will make you happy. Choosing for yourself those things that you don’t agree with. Choosing for yourself your own circle of friends. Choosing for yourself what you may eat and what you may choose not to eat.

Self esteem is learning that no one has the right to push you into doing things that you don’t want to do. Self esteem is learning that you can do what you want if you really want to. Self esteem is learning that you can wish for anything you want and then go out and make your wishes come true.

Self esteem is learning that you have a right to be loved. By others and by yourself. Self esteem is learning that no one has a right to belittle you, to put you down or to walk over you.

Self esteem is learning that you have the right to pursue a career, and that promotions are part and parcel of that career,

Self esteem is learning that you have the right to look for a partner and the right to be loved and respected by that person.

"STAGGERING LEVELS"

Headlines blazed across the television screen this morning, NUMBER OF "OBESE" AUSTRALIANS REACHES 'STAGGERING LEVELS'

For a woman who wears size 20 clothes (and sometimes I have to buy sizes 24 and 26 even though I don't change shape or weight in order to get something to fit), I have come to the stage where I am no longer willing to be categorized as a burden to Australian society because of my size.

In reading a lot of material about plus-size (much of it from the archives of plus-related books and articles as well as contemporary writings), I've come to realise that in the past as well as the present, we have been given the most humiliating descriptions possible and we've been expected to accept that discrimination without a murmur.

Personally I've been told that:

• if I want to be accepted as an equal in the work-scene I have to lose weight;  
• if I want my views and balanced opinions to be listened to seriously about all manner of issues, then I should lose weight; 
• if I want to be accepted as an intelligent woman ( a lot of plus size women are considered to be dull and not having much sense), then I would have to lose weight;
• if I want to be accepted as a patient in many small as well as major hospitals then I would have to lose weight;
• if I want to be treated respectfully at many restaurants around the country and to be seated comfortably at one of their tables, then there was an inference that I should lose some weight - ("we can't provide chairs for people who aren't standard size" I've been told more than once).  Just exactly what do they mean by "standard size"? - should everyone be identical in height, width, shape, size and looks, so that we are "standard'?)
• if I want a reasonable range of clothing to choose from then it would be preferable to be a few sizes less

and the list goes on.

It's when the health industry publicly gets vocal in their non-acceptance of us that things start to turn nasty. For the media is always eager to sensationalise reality and they grab hold of what the health industry state, and we become the agents for not only discrimination but ridicule.   The health industry has the ability and the opportunity to improve our lives by seeing us as we are, and then working with us to assist us to become more healthy.  Working with us means NOT to insist that we lose weight by outrageous diets or disfiguring and dangerous surgery.  Too many studies have been carried out that now claim it is not necessary to be thin to be healthy.  We get blamed for being who we are when if the health and fitness industry looked deeper into the question, they have it within their means to enhance our lives as they are right now.

So the health industry reminds us that we are fat and overweight and then the media takes up the message and emblazons the television screens, the national magazines and even the newspapers with reports and photographs that do nothing to assist in our self-esteem.

Because that's where the whole subject loses its way.  If society and this includes the media and the health industry, were to readily accept the plus-size woman and encourage her to make the very best of what she has, then she would become healthier and happier.  And with that her self-esteem would rise.

It's self-esteem that we have to aim for, first and foremost.   

©  Rose Davida

AGING OUTRAGEOUSLY! - Keeping Focus!

Let's start off with the obvious. A woman goes through many phases as she grows from childhood through to a teenager, an adult and then an older woman. These changes influence & impact upon her life at all those particular points in time and travel with her into the future, sometimes bringing with them emotional reminders, both good and bad. These she either confronts & deals with or carries as baggage.

But for the majority of us all the "seasons" of womanhood are exciting, filled with promise and challenges plus a few pitfalls which we manage to struggle through and rise above when it's difficult but which we mainly sail happily through.

Then one day the face in the mirror that looks back at us, is unrecognisable. Experience, joys, hardship, worry, anxiety, the ups and downs of surviving in a world that may present hurdles and difficulties, show in our face and in our body. Gravity wears away at our looks and figures, and for some reason our mind undergoes a similar change. Not always for the better I might add. Yet it forms the opinion that the person in the mirror no longer deserves to be pampered or bothered about. Even as far as saying that the person no longer deserves respect.

With that decision, many subtle and not so subtle changes become habit. We take less care of our complexions, our hair, our hands and feet. We take less trouble in choosing clothing. Anything that fits (whether it suits us or not) will do! Many women even give up on their favourite past-times or leisure pursuits, including hobbies, and "retire". When I think about it, and I decided not to think about it too often a long time ago, "retire" is such a negative word! It's really not worth my attention, because by definition it means, to sit in a corner and rusticate! Isn't it better to "rest" (rather than "rust") when we need to, and to bustle around doing things when we choose to? As so often happens when a woman "retires" she loses her sense of being important, if not to others, then quite often to herself. Silly, isn't it?

And what happens is that women too often no longer see themselves as intelligent, articulate women deserving of having their opinions heard and respected. We also forget, far TOO often, that we are still sensual beings.

Is it wrong for us to "want" to wear makeup, to dress nicely, do things we want to do, go where we want to go, travel, undertake courses at TAFE or university, even?

Why not buy a new car, leave a failed and/or broken relationship, especially if that relationship has become violent and uncaring? Even, dare I say it, to take a lover?

Don't get me wrong - I have strong principles and ethics that direct my personal standards, but life is short, and it needs to be treated with the utmost respect, humility and affection.

Affection for life? Of course. It's a wonderful and unique thing - life. You can't make it, you can't copy it, you can't replace it. It's a gift to you and I believe, passionately, that because it is a gift, it should be treated with gentleness and total and unconditional love and respect.

To be continued .....

INTERNATIONAL and NATIONAL WOMEN'S MAGAZINES

LATEST FASHION TRENDS on SKINNY GIRLS

One question remains unanswered as far as I’m concerned.  Why do women’s national and international magazines insist on showing us half-grown petulant, skinny girls (I'm not talking about naturally thin models!) to show off the latest “garment” thrown together by a well-known designer.  If you’re observant and look around you, you’ll readily see that those models DON'T represent the girls at the major store counter or the girls sitting near you at the mall coffee shop or the women in your family and groups of friends.  Those garments are, we’re told, all made in a size 0 or less - how can you get anything less than zero?  

Do you know why?  

Manufacturers tell me that it’s because the garment hangs better on a body without flesh or curves!   Aaah, am I missing something here?  Because you can't tell me that the above model is either happy or healthy and that the garment hangs better on her than on a girl with a little more flash.   There’s a contradiction here - even a size 16 girl will look different to the size 10 or less model wearing the same garment!   Is it strange then that a plus-size woman feels frustrated?  The only reason I can see why they insist on making sample garments in such a small size and using models so thin they look as though they’ll break, is because .......... it takes less fabric!    But that doesn't quite answer the question does it?  If a garment is for a size 16 girl, then surely it should be modelled on a size 16.  Yes?

If there’s another answer to this question, then I’d like to hear it.

HOW MANY PLUS SIZE WOMEN ACTUALLY BUY THESE MAGAZINES TODAY?

These magazines are still selling - and if the comments of most of the women I know is true, then these magazines are being produced in spite of the fact that not many plus size women are buying them.  What a contradiction.  Women’s magazines are supposed to be for ALL women of all ages, sizes and shapes - yet do we see ourselves represented fairly within their pages?   I only read magazines at the hairdressers, in the doctors rooms and the like these days, but not in my kitchen or lounge room (that is unless I sneak one from my hairdressers!).  

ONCE AGAIN THE INAPPROPRIATE "POSES" OF OUR MODELS and "CELEBRITIES"

Another point about these half starved waifs that I can’t understand - and I’m not alone in this, is the way they stand or pose.   Honestly most of them look as though thy need to find the “ladies” quickly or else they’ll have an embarrassing moment.   What is this all about?

Put a mini dress on a model and she crosses her ankles - put her into a pair of jeans and she sits with her legs open wide.  Am I really that old-fashioned to be offended?

LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST

The debate about the size of models has been going on for far too long, without any resolution that satisfies the majority of women.  Even young women.  I see a number of blogs these days written by young, intelligent, articulate women - teenagers through to 30-40 year olds - all declaiming the use of digital enhancements and photoshopping of models and even photographs of everyday things - landscapes and the like.   Even some of our better known and top models say they don’t even recognise themselves after being photo-shopped!    What does that say?  It says that we’re being conned, and that reality is no longer real. 

Don't you think it's about time we saw "real" women - flesh and curves; wrinkles and grey hair; faces and bodies that are their own and original (without the help of a scalpel) in our magazines - or isn't the 21st century world ready for this yet?  When will someone in the media have the courage to make decisions to show us as we are, not as "they" want us to be?

DO YOU EVER WONDER?

Have today's women become TOO obsessed with thin-ness and sexuality, losing out on femininity and sensuality?   Have we lost the ability to tell the difference?

MANNIKIN SIZES

Yes, I know I harp on this subject, but let’s be honest.   Why do our major stores, Myer, David Jones; the stores such as Cue, Noni B, Katies, The Iconic, Dotti, Portmans, Autograph, ts14Plus, even Sara and the discount stores K Mart, Target, Woolworths, refuse to get “with it” and treat their customers - particularly those of us with curves - with some respect?   Online stores such as Virtu, City Chic, Dream Diva and Killer Curves have recognised the importance of showing young women who are full busted, round hipped, and deliciously curvy.  No wonder these online stores are doing fantastic business.   They are responsible in their endeavours to encourage the plus-size women that she can build upon her self-image, and most certainly add style to her wardrobe by wearing their clothes.

I walk into any of the so-called major stores in Collins Street and in our elite shopping malls and I don’t see ONE store mannikin that is a size 18 or larger.  Why?   Don’t the stores research their customers?  Don’t they take time to look at the female form as it is today?

(This store mannikin below is the only one of size 16 that I have ever come across.  It is in a salon in Perth, Western Australia.)

I ask a further but simple question here - do these stores insist on employing women of only a certain size (and age)?  If they do, then that’s discrimination but I’ll not get into that at the moment.

I have contacts in the US who are coming to the conclusion that the “weight debate” has turned really nasty over there.   Whatever strides we made during the latter part of the 90s and through the early 2000s have been lost in a sea of increased intolerance and ridicule.  It offends me that our struggles to be understood and accepted as equals has been turned around and become more hurtful and disrespectful than they were a decade or more ago.

I guess it’s up to the young women of today who see the injustices and inconsistencies in the modern world, to take up the battle.   Some of them are rather strident and unfortunately do themselves injustice by being militant and their language demeans the respect that we should show ourselves, let alone each other.  However on the other side of the coin, many of these younger women are fighting with fire in their heart and their feistiness is infectious.   I applaud them.

It’s time that we took stock of this whole subject of becoming invisible because of our size which means that we no longer have a place in people’s thinking;  their attitude is that we’re fat and therefore we don’t deserve any consideration.  Well, I have something to say to these people.  You ain’t seen nothing yet!

We can turn the tide.   We can make a difference.  All it takes is a bit of get up and go.   If we don’t like the way the stores treat us, then we have the privilege of letting them know.  Verbally as well as by writing and telling them.  We have the privilege of commenting via the internet.  We have the privilege of contacting the newspapers, the television stations and radio stations and putting our views forward.   We have the privilege of finding stores that cater to our needs and going there, whether it's in our local shopping mall or online from overseas. We have the privilege of networking with other women’s groups and bringing our case of discrimination forward.  We can talk and we can listen.   

What we don’t need to do is to sit still and wait for something to happen.  Because you and I know that just is not the answer. If we don’t stand up for ourselves, then who is going to?  Noone else.  As far as the rest of society is concerned, if we’re not fighting for our rights, then why should they bother even thinking about us?  And they’re right.  It’s up to us.

This started out to be a short post on image and style, and I’ve gone off on a tangent - again.  But let’s hear your comments.   Let your friends know about this blog and ask them to “follow” it.   Write to me, send in your thoughts, and if you’d like to be on our mailing list for RoseMary’s NoteBook©, then we’d be happy to welcome you and your friends.

Let’s keep this truck movin’.

Boxing Day

A leading psychologist on television the other day was saying that Christmas time seems to be a time when family stresses and disagreements come to the surface.   Many people no longer get together on Christmas Day for that reason.  In fact many families totally ignore one or more members of their family for that same reason.  Which is a shame, because surely we could find it possible to be considerate and respectful to each other (even if we don't see eye to eye on many things) just for one day of the year?  

However, I love Boxing Day because it's almost as though there is no pressure to be anything but relaxed.   My "adopted" family joined me and my friend for lunch on Boxing Day this year.  What a totally enjoyable couple of hours spent in the freedom of being who we are and able to be ourselves.  Not to mention lots of laughter and fun conversations accompanied by a lovely meal.

Happiness can come in large or small doses.   I count that occasion as a dose of happiness that I shall remember for a long time.

There are friends, and then there are "friends".   Boxing Day 2012 I have been blessed with a special affection from a couple who I deem to be "family", and I am so grateful for their love.

Pain - and - hurt

The first step in not hurting others

 is to stop hurting yourself.

LOVE, without ATTACHMENT!

A lot of my friends (and even casual acquaintances) tell me that even though they surround themselves with lots of "positive" messages about self-acceptance, and plenty of healthy self-talk, there are times when they feel "out of place" and not quite sure of themselves, especially when it concerns relationships.

This is a favourite piece I have repeated and reproduced over many years through my newsletters and small booklets. I hope you will find it encouraging in your personal life.

Love without attachment!

After a while you learn the subtle difference

between holding a hand and chaining a soul

And you learn that love does not mean leaning, 

and company does not mean security

And you begin to learn that kisses are not contracts

and presents are not promises

And you begin to accept rejection

with your head up and your eyes clear

with the grace of an adult,

not the heartache of a child

And you learn to build you life on NOW

because tomorrow is too uncertain

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much

Plant your own garden and decorate your soul

instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers

After a while you learn that you really have infinite worth.

...... Author unknown

Pampering ourselves

It's during winter time that I come back to the idea that we should pamper ourselves more often.  Not that any other season doesn't demand we do likewise, but for some reason the cold, wet, wintry days bring with them the feeling that everything is dreary and damp and all we can do is have a hot cup of soup to keep warm and stay indoors for the day.

The past few weeks have certainly not been conducive to looking around the shops or shopping centres for clothes.  If I'm honest I do have enough to suit my lifestyle.  While I love bringing new fashion trends and ideas from local and overseas suppliers, I think it's also most important that we give ourselves our little treats now and then.

I ventured out this morning just to do the normal chores, and stopped and looked at the window display at a small florist in our local shopping centre.  All the presentations were flambouyant in colour, sizes and all with different types of petals and leaves.  Having chosen a couple of cards from the card display I walked to the counter at the back of the shop and was assailed by the most fragrant perfume imaginable.  And with that perfume came countless happy memories from the past.

Was the perfume from a big, bold, flower stem?  No, it was the tiniest little bunch of winter violets, sitting in a small glass vase on the counter.  There was no hesitation - I opened my wallet and bought them - just for myself.  Just to tell myself I am special!

The more I observe, the more I become convinced that plus-sizers particularly lose the inclination to "spoil" themselves occasionally.  Is this because we've been told or had it inferred that we're not worth it?  Because this is one of the unkindest lies told to us  -  we all need to know we're loved, and there's something special about a little bunch of violets that remind me that I am important and special to myself, and even more incredibly to others.

Isn't that worth celebrating?  

In what way do you occasionally "treat" yourself to something out of the ordinary?