Thursday, May 26, 2011

A sense of balance!

What a wonderful world.   Here we are in Australia in mid-Autumn, experiencing shorter days, grey, grey skies, showers and sometimes storms; cold frosty mornings and chilly evenings.   Our sisters on the other side of the world are experiencing summer heat and all sorts of discomfort associated with getting too hot getting too "sweaty" and the consequences of fungal infections.  

But it's good to keep a healthy sense of balance.   One subject that has cropped up again with many of my US friends is how to deal with excessive perspiration.  While there are many "solutions" put forward, and I've certainly tried a number of them over the years without any success, (ie calamine lotion; cornflour etc) there is one product that I've found to be most helpful.  And it doesn't matter if it's summer weather or winter - the product still works wonderfully well.

The product is called Prantal Powder, an aluminium free antiperspirant.     It dries without clogging and is pleasant to use.

Another aspect of controlling perspiration is a very simple one, and one which has worked for many of my friends and me in fact.   It is NOT to use any deodorant at all - that product merely clogs up the perspiration ducts, and eventually becomes stale, adding to the problems.    Now to many women the thought of not using a deodorant causes concern, but honestly, becoming more aware of a "natural" sweet body perfume soon persuades most that they should never have started the deodorant walk in the first place.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Small annoyances!

Yes.  I've been caught up in a series of weird happenings with my faithful Apple computer.   I closed down one evening only to find the very next morning that everything had returned to the initial default (factory default).   Years of data and material became convoluted and ran into many hiding areas within the hard drive, and this even taxed the "professional" technicians.  So I've been off-line;  I've been unable to keep up with the blog, and I've felt thoroughly isolated and miserable.   That's what modern technology does to us - makes us dependent and reliant on itself for our satisfaction and happiness.

But I don't intend to sit in a corner and mope about it.  It's autumn time here - the "return" to early signs of autumn were encouraging with mild weather, beautiful autumn tints and sunshiny skies.  These are now settling into mid autumn with the promise that colder (much colder) weather is on its way.

I've been looking around to see what fabulous fashion is out there for us, especially the curvaceous woman, but I can't see anything that isn't a re-working of what has been for the past couple of years.  Where is the imagination these days?  (I'm not referring to many of the American designers and suppliers because somehow they just come up trumps with ideas and new designs.)   I cannot believe that here in Australia we don't have eager and "daring" designers who have an appreciation and understanding of the rounder female form, and who are enthusiastic about providing sensational outfits and clothing.  I'm particularly thinking of some of our beautiful ethnic and indigenous women.  Where are they hiding?

I'm not being pedantic, but quite honestly if I look through my wardrobe at some of the "favourites" that I've been wearing and keeping for years now, I see garments that are still flattering to me (which because they are made well still fit, even though my body shape has undergone some "changes").   It comes back to good design, good workmanship, good fabric and good care.

And I'm a great one for believing that just because the weather is colder that we shouldn't bury ourselves in dark, dingy, dull and despairing colours.   Even layering of a number of pastel colours will keep you warm - think Summer/Spring during Autumn/Winter!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Acceptance!


finding acceptance within ourselves
- it’s easier than you think
      

It’s not uncommon for us to sometimes wonder why we feel “alone” in our fluctuating feelings of “acceptance” and “non-acceptance”. It’s a part of life and no one is immune from it.  

It’s also not uncommon for women, plus-size women, to feel as though we’ll never amount to very much, unless we lose weight or even undergo cosmetic surgery to "look good".  There’s an unsaid statement, by society including the media and the fashion industry, that  we HAVE to toe their line otherwise we’ll always be on the sidelines, overlooked and walked upon.   Of course even if we do lose weight to meet their demands, quite often we find we’re still standing on the outskirts of “accedptability” because we have at one time been “fat”, or maybe after losing weight, we’ve managed to put on a bit again!   We can never satisfy these people, and for many, me included, we have no inclination to continue trying to do the impossible.

It’s always worth while taking the time to think about and look at other women who have overcome obstacles and come out winners.   Maybe the circumstances are different under under which these women have fought to become recognised as business women;  or intelligent women within society - medicine, writing, art, the theatre, television, tradeswomen, holding senior positions within corporations or defense forces, police/fire/and ambulance heads of departments if not the “top” person; in politics, science, education, and countless other professions, but they all have one thing in common.  They are women; equipped with all manner of intelligence, experience, expertise and know-how. They’ve seen their own potential, they’ve set their own goals, and they’’ve gone ahead to achieve those goals.

Then there are those women who describe themselves as being “JUST” a housewife, or mother, or daughter, who because of today’s society not recognising or appreciating women in whatever role they play or choose, not necessarily head-line or newsworthy names,  are seen as not being successes.   Let me tell you, they are as much a success as any woman who climbs the corporate ladder and leads a reputable company to million dollar profits, or dare I say it, becomes Prime Minister!

So it is with the plus-size woman.  Many are not hindered in their setting of goals;  just as many are the recipients of rude and down-putting attitudes and behaviour of others in the community, sometimes even friends and yes, family.

We have the power to stand up for ourselves (without becoming militant);  we have the skills to prove our worth in whatever endeavour we set out to do;  we can climb mountains, we can swim the English Channel if we want to.   We can be worthy and valuable human beings.   We can inspire and mentor others;  we can aspire to new heights for our own personal development.  Nothing is impossible.  Again let me say, nothing is impossible - if you want it with a passion.   
And that’s what is missing out in a lot of people’s lives.  Passion.  And I’m not only talking about passion such as love and sex.  I’m talking about wanting something so much that you will stretch yourself and your mind to achieve it.   You’ll go the extra mile, for yourself.

And the result (even if you’re not the winner of the race, or the one who receives the Woman of the Year Award) will be a feeling of “yes, I’ve done my best and I feel good about that”.

So finding acceptance WITHIN ourselves is surely enough motivation for us to strive, ever forward, in whatever we do, wherever we are at any point in time.

What it comes down to is being content with who andwhat we are.  And being kind to ourselves.  Don’t pile guilt upon guilt onto our own shoulders, just because other people tell us we’re not perfect.  Are they?   Seriously, are they?

We can’t be categorised as being one thing or another, because we’re unique.   Let me say that again - we are uniquely formed and we are uniquely different to each other.  If we pursue the unrealistic dream of becoming a clone of someone else, then we’ve lost the plot.  They can’t become us, and we shouldn’t waste time in trying to become them.  You are you, and I am me.  Surely that’s enough to be proud of.


Thursday, May 5, 2011

The "movement" towards size acceptance continues to gain momentum


Women of size, all around the world, are discovering what it is to be in control of their lives and to face out-of-date attitudes.  Taking control is definitely NOT "losing" control though. Self confidence combined with self-assurance and the knowing that we really do know what is best for us, can empower us to tread lightly but firmly on the path of total self and size acceptance.
 
For some, it's a daily struggle to maintain a "positive" attitude in a society that feeds upon blame and guilt associated with those who are deemed plus-size.   The media is blatantly discriminatory but will never admit to it.  Excuses abound and you and I are no longer persuaded to see their point of view.   
 
Here in Victoria, Australia, which is the only State so far to have introduced legislation against physical discrimination, there have been 365 cases of discrimination on the basis of physical features (including those based on a person's weight) in the past five years.  ("Woman's Day, April 19, 2010).    This does not, of course, take into account the many thousands of cases that never come out into the open.

It is not legal to be turned away from a job, told you are too fat to shop in a particular outlet, denied a promotion, knocked back from a club or bar or suffer humiliation because you don't measure up to someone else's ideal of what you should look like (Victorian Equal Opportunity Rights Commissioner) 

But that doesn't make sense because in real life, people ARE turned away from jobs, they are MADE to feel out of place in specific shopping outlets, they ARE denied promotions, they ARE subjected to humiliation - by innuendo, jokes or straight out verbal abuse  (and they're not being over-sensitive in claiming that it's because of their weight).  It happens too often and to too many for it to be simple imagination!

There is bias in our society, and it's about time that we were judged less and understood more.

The first step is up to us.   To discover our own worth and value; to live by and with those values; and to believe in ourselves.  Then it's up to others to accept us as we are.  If they can't or don't want to, then that is their problem, not ours, and even though it might be hard to do, we may have to turn away from those people (even if they are family or so-called friends) and find other ways and means of handling our lives.

We should never become puppets to a society that dislikes the plus-size so much.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Telemarketing ploys! and SUMMER FASHION PLUS SIZE

If you're like me, you probably get these annoying phone calls quite regularly.   They take up time, especially when you're waiting for an important call from someone else, but more importantly for someone who lives alone you feel somewhat "threatened".   The fact that there's no one at the other end of the phone makes you imagine all sorts of things.

Michelle, the daughter of one of our group, told her Mum that this was the best way to deal with these calls.   Whether it works can only be gauged by the fact of whether these calls become less and less, but it could be worth trying.

It seems that this is a telemarketing technique where a machine (read: computer?)  makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.

This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a 'real-life' sales person to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialled the call, and it kicks your number out of their system.

SUMMER FASHION PLUS SIZE
Just discovered this youtube and while "summer fashion" may differ a little each year, this is quite an interesting video.  Well designed clothes quite often can be "in" whatever the year!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Having it All!


You'll often hear someone say this. Whether it's in conversation, or else in your favourite women's magazine. And they usually add, "and you too can have it all, all you have to do is ..........." The list is endless - you know the sort of thing. Lose weight. Do something with your hair. Why not have some liposuction? Botox, my dear, that's the answer. You shouldn't eat this particular food. You're not bringing your children up the right way. Do this, do that, and do everything we say, and then "you can have it all!"

Have you ever wondered whether these people know what they're saying? Or what they're telling us to do? And who are "they"? Have you ever met them? What gives "them" the right to tell us how to lead our lives, and what we do and how we do it?

Sub-consciously many of us have "listened" to these words that run around in our heads. We've agreed that we should do as "they" say, because then we WILL be accepted, we will be seen as being important or valuable, and we WILL have it all!

But do you truly believe that this is the answer? Why have we wasted time listening to propaganda that is based on untruths?

Let's start at the beginning. Most, if not all, the people who tell us what to do and how to live our lives are women. Right? Doesn't that strike you as strange? And when you think about it a little deeper, doesn't it make you wonder why women have this "thing" about telling other women where they're wrong? Are their own lives so perfect?

I'm one of many who foolishly "listened" to these apparent knowledgeable women, and journalists and features editors of women's magazines over the years, until ....... One day I realised that I'd probably had more experience than they had; I'd gained more knowledge on the same subjects that they tackled; and I'd learned how to cope and adapt to changing circumstances within my life, that they wouldn't even know about. And because of that I had insights and the ability to know what is best for me. Even to how I look, what I wear and what I eat.

What a discovery. From that day I've been able to read women's magazines and listen to women expounding on how everyone else should lead their lives, and wonder (and ask them when possible) have they successfully found contentment within themselves? Have they done everything they've been told to do by others? Have they not been true to themselves, but allowed others to manipulate them into being and living as someone who they are not?

The lesson for me was this. As a child I sought education. I used that education in the pursuit of knowledge. With the gaining of knowledge and now experience, I can share with other women. I will not tell them that I what I know, and what I have learned are the answers for them. But I can assure them that in sharing what I do know, I am allowing them the opportunity of searching for answers for themselves.

For we need to be the captains of our own ships
. Women today, especially younger ones, have higher education and career opportunities than women of 50 years ago. Women in many areas of society are treated equally and expect to be independent including financially secure. But there are still many who are held back by the thought that they are not seen as being "equal" or "accepted" by other women.

I'm told that women have never had it so good. Why do I complain? Why don't I just sit still and accept the fact that things are as good as they'll get? I'll tell you why. Because women aren't getting as good as they deserve. Not at all. And unfortunately our worst enemies are more often than not, other women.

Why should we believe we're asking for more than we deserve? Surely every one of us deserves to be treated with utmost respect and courtesy, from everyone we come in contact with.

"Having it All" is a little too ambitious; it's probably impossible. Having "enough" is more to the point. Because then you're not striving to get more than you need, which in turn could make you pompous and arrogant. And anyway, "having it all" means that there's nothing to aim for, no goals to set, no dreams to be fulfilled. How boring!

© 2011 Morgana