Sunday, September 25, 2016

Springtime

Springtime officially began here in the eastern states of Australia on the 1st September.

Well!  You could have been mistaken about that, for the weather has been somewhat contradictory.  The cold spell we've had reminds us of mid-winter and this of course has reflected in what we are wearing.   It's almost as though we're asking ourselves "when will we be able to wear some of our lovely summer clothes".

But it's merely a matter of being patient, and making sure that our summer clothes are in readiness for us.  

For the more curvaceous woman, the ranges from Maggie T as well as Autograph meet our young-at-heart feelings - whatever age we are!   For the more budget conscious, then the ranges from Victoria Hill and Danart neet that need as well.   Visit both their websites and view their latest catalogues and then get along to a store or purchase from on-line.

Cotton and linen are favourites this year as well as a lot of stretch fabrics, particularly in pants and crops.   The casual but dressy look is one that will carry you from the home, or business, to an early evening get-together with friends.





Thursday, August 18, 2016

LATEST VIEWS AND OPINIONS!

There are still a number of stores that well clothing up to and including size 18 and sometimes 20.  Anything higher then you have to look around to find what’s there, and more importantly what looks good.  For as you and I know full well, many of the clothes are so mass produced that they begin to look like just plain olf “stuff”.  We know that most, if not all, clothing these days is made in China.

But I’m not complaining.  Ha, you say.  Rosemary’s not complaining?   Well I suppose I am in a small sweet way, but what I’m doing is stating fact. 
    


There are some good companies overseas, including Making It Big (which now comes under the title of “On the Plus Side by Making It Big” (mib@makingitbig.com).  Monif C (monifc.com) info@news.monifc.com) and Igigi (igigi.com)  who cater for the more curvaceous woman.   

These are very sexy garments and if I were “brave” I might be tempted!

While I’m not suggesting in any way that any garments from these suppliers are anything but top quality, a lot of women are now coming back to the old-fashioned idea of being able to “see” a garment, “feel a garment” and to look at how it is made (sewn) before buying.  Some are perfectly happy buying on-line and have never been disappointed.  I had a couple of experiences and was extremely disappointed, so ……   (Let's be honest here, my purchases DID NOT come from any of these three USA suppliers!)

Now we come to what is available in the stores here.  Autograph has some lovely garments, including underwear/lingerie did you know?   It’s always worth your while to visit an Autograph store because they do have some great bargains occasionally.   Taking Shape - well I’m on their email list but for some reason nothing seems to take my eye.  But then, as most of you will be aware, I’m not longer “young” (even though I'm still seen as young at heart) and I’ve come to the stage where I have worked out my wardrobe and what suits me, and I stick with the guidelines I’ve set myself from years experience.   So a number of Australian stores that supposedly stock and sell clothing for curvaceous women have a focus on the younger woman most of the time.

I even find (here I go - am I in fact complaining?  Probably).   I find Maggie T garments are attractive but so pricey that I can no longer do more than look at their catalogue (on-line) and drool.  That’s where I’ve gotten to, girls.

I’m also on the mailing list for “In Fashion”, the catalogue that includes Damart and Victoria Hill.  While Damart,garments go up to size 24, many of Victoria Hill garments go up to size 30.   This latest catalogue for Spring 2016 has some really attractive items.   Let me say at the outset that the prices are comparable to those in the stores, but it’s a matter of sensibly working out a mix-n-match outfit and then being able to add items at a later date that will in effect create YOUR own profile outfit.   Let this be the start of something BIG!



Victoria Hill has Jeans, regular lengths as well as Crop,  Tunic Tops, Lightweight Cardigans, Knee Length Crinkle Shorts, a dress or two, tee shirts, sweatshirts, plain and printed polos, skirts, and a selection of jeans, shirt, cami and skirt in Lyocell (which in the catalogue looks very much like Tencel - remember that fabric)  

Their catalogue also has a range of swimwear, shoes, handbags, hats (including floppy hats for the sun!), and jewellery.   Not to mention nightwear and lingerie.

This catalogue is 100 pages, and well worth having a look at the hard-copy.   Again, I’m old-fashioned and like leafing through the catalogue and making my mind up slowly rather than going mad on-line and ordering half a dozen items that I may not like in the long run.

So there, has this given you any ideas?   Perhaps you’ve got ideas of our own that you could share with me, and the other readers of RoseMary’s NoteBook©  Then we’ll all be the Gold Medal Winners.

'Til next time

Rosemary







Monday, August 1, 2016

PUT A LITTLE ZING INTO YOUR STEP!



When it comes to being flambouyant, there’s nothing quite like a full-circle skirt.  Especially a long full-circle skirt. 

There’s something quite sensual about the skirt flowing freely around your legs and with Springtime not too far off, why not look into adding this type of garment to your wardrobe.

For those of us who are “growing older”, it can quite often become a matter of “I’m too old for something like that”.   Well more to the point what’s growing older got to do with wearing something that makes you feel good?   

So get out there and let your hair down, as the old saying goes, and even if you only wear it indoors, make it your goal to start looking at yourself as a unique, one-off individual.   Age, size, colour have nothing to do with being a woman and enjoying life as a woman should do.   

Our younger women are experimenting with all sorts of variations and trends all the time.  Don’t put off doing something really nice for yourself.

It’s your time you know,  Right now,   Let’s know what you’ve added to your wardrobe recently and what you intend to add in the short term.

'til next time

Rosemary

Sunday, January 3, 2016

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!

Well, as you’ll see it’s been a long while since I “posted” on my blog.   Some people have asked the reasons why, while others haven’t said a word.  Does that mean not many of my regulars have been following me after all?

However, ever the inveterate optimist, that’s me.  So I’m starting the New Year off with a reminder to everyone to please keep this blog current and to “follow me” on your computer.  Perhaps you’ll learn a thing or two, perhaps you’ll be entertained, informed and/or educated.  Perhaps you won’t learn a thing, but hey, let’s keep in contact one way or another.

Many of my friends have gathered up the courage to try out FaceBook.  Well, my friends, believe it or not, I’m trying to grasp the ins and outs of FaceBook myself.  But it’s not as easy as it sounds.  Oh yes, young people seem to be able to navigate it quite smoothly and even to make it work for them.  Me, I stumble and I stagger around, but at least I’m trying.  Yes, I hear many of my friends say, you definitely are “trying”, Rosemary!

But with that, I’d like to start off by stating, the obvious.  I don’t know where “fashion” is here in Australia - has it gone to sleep, is it hiding, or does it only come out at night?  As all my loyal readers know I am a great “observer” of people, particularly women, and I can’t see where there is anything exciting being worn by the majority of women who visit our shopping malls and larger centres during daylight hours.  Once again, and please don’t blame me, but it seems to be to be “same all, same all”.   Where’s the flare, where’s the fun, where’s the flounces, where’s the feminity, where’s the feisiness?

Dull, boring, cut off pants and tee shirts.  Jeans and tee shirts.   “Hippy” style long skirts with tee shirts.   Slip slop thongs (I mean the footwear not the undies).   Bra straps showing and for those who don’t wear bras, a lot of “other” showing.   

Let’s start 2016 off with an understanding of what we can wear, how we can wear it and how we can embrace our femininity with style.   It’s a matter of experiment, experiment, experiment.  Experiment with colours, with textures, with fabrics, with designs and what ever else you can think of.

Layering brings with it a whole kaleadiscope of possibilities.  You can put together colours that you may not usually wear, but take the plunge.  You’ll enjoy the experience.

'til next time

Rosemary

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

THE PACE OF LIFE

So much has changed during recent years, not only in our daily lives, but in the way we live.  And especially at the speed at which we live.  Who would have thought even five years ago that "social media" would take over our lives.

Communication today is instantaneous.  Social media has made a lasting effect upon our thinking and this can be both a good as well as not so good thing about organising the hours in any day.

No longer do we need to depend just on women's magazines that came out monthly rather than weekly to read the latest fashion trends, celebrity gossip, what is occurring on the other side of the world.  We hear about these things so quickly now that for many of us, our heads spin trying to take it all in.  For "fashion trends" change not only seasonally but almost daily.

Yet many quotations by notable people from years ago are still pertinent today when it comes to fashion particularly.

I'd like to quote Yves St Laurent who said:

"FASHION FADES, STYLE IS ETERNAL"

Instead of chasing fashion trends (which so often don't suit us at all), why not study the effects of "style"?   Observe other women and how they dress, whether it be casual or conservative, and see how confident and self assured women use clothing in such a way as to expxress their own individual personality, rather than being part of the "mob".  And they do it with a certain panaché.   


Sunday, September 27, 2015

QUOTATION for the DAY

When people have light in themselves, 
it will shine out from them

then we get to know each other as we walk together 
through the darkness,

without needing to pass our hands over each other's faces, 
or to intrude into each other's hearts.

.... Albert chweitzer - 1875-1965

Sunday, September 20, 2015

QUOTE FOR THE DAY


And the song

from beginning to end

I found in the 

heart of a friend

..... Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

NOT a problem to be solved!

I've just discovered this on FaceBook (but was unable to "share" for some reason) so full acknowledgement is given to the author/artist whoever it may be.

The important thing is that this is the type of "poster" we should see more often.   I wonder sometimes why we don't see many children's books about "chubby" boys and girls, in a positive way.

In fact why why don't we see a lot more curvaceous "female" heroines (or larger "male" heroes) in novels.  Can you think of any?  Write and share your finds.



Saturday, September 5, 2015

A GLIMPSE OF THE SEASON'S TRENDS


I have to confess I was “giving up” on a number of the Australian suppliers for not having the courage (or initiative) to seriously look at the plus-size figure as something of beauty to be complimented and enhanced by loving clothing - rather than the run-of-the-mill sameness that has been appearing in our stores for far too long.

But size 22 plus women, want something that glides over the figure - yes, we still have a figure whether you believe it or not.   This is why I was so pleased to see the latest range from TS 12-24 Celebrate Your Curves.   

Taking Shape - the name says it all.  Now the brand is coming up with some great ideas for the woman whose size ranges between 12-24.  What a pity they don’t go into higher sizes!



This is a fabulous tunic/gown.  Called the White Noise Shirt Dress, it can be worn with leggings, slim pants, and if you have fabulous legs (like Maggie T) then black beautiful stockings.

With a button down front, this garment can be worn dressed-up or dressed-down, open or closed.  Large side splits at the sides allows for comfort, especially when sitting.  The cap sleeves (15cm) I would have preferred to be longer, but then if you like layering then a smart black sleeved cami or light tee shirt can disguise the thicker arms that many plus-size women experience.

I love the length of this garment and I also love what appears to be a collar.  Collars always seem to me to add a bit of class - don’t ask me why, but that’s my humble opinion.  


Wednesday, August 26, 2015

COLOURS AND HOW WE FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES


It’s all got to do with a basic knowledge of what colours suit you and your complexion.  Believe it or not but colours ARE important, not only to how you look but to how you feel.



Let’s face it, with everything that’s going on around us at any time, we need to feel “good” about ourselves.   There’s enough criticism and negativity that is inferred, or said, by others to make us feel less optimistic about ourselves.  That shouldn’t be, and we know we shouldn’t take any notice, but unfortunately there are days when we do.  And we fall in a heap.  We start criticising ourselves.  We vent our anger at ourselves for being too fat, too ungainly, too clumsy, too dull, too boring.  Then we become even more critical on how we dress.

If I turn my thoughts into focussing on “me” all the time, then I lose track of what is important to me, and in my life.  Many women I have spoken and listened to, who have all come to the conclusion that we know what is best for us, agree that when we have basic knowledge of what is good for us, then we can add to it, work on it, and enhance it.  Thus making our lives happier and contented.

When I was younger I wasn’t aware there were most definitely colours that didn’t suit me.  I saw lovely garments in the stores, I went in, tried them on in the store dressing rooms and handed over my hard earned money for them.  Taking them home and hanging them in the wardrobe, it simply didn’t occur to me to ask myself why, after something like 5 years, I had never worn that garment again.  I learned much later it was because the colours did not suit me.  The lighting in the dressing rooms of the stores and my hunger to find something I liked made me lost focus.

That was until I met Susan M of Booragoon, WA.  An Image Consultant par excellence.  Susan took me through the steps of understanding the range of colours and the importance of yellow based and blue based colours.  Now for a long while I couldn’t understand what a “blue based yellow” was, nor a “yellow based blue”.   It took time, and I’m glad it did because now when I see a colour I know immediately what category it falls under.   I’m a “blue based person” so when I go into a store I know exactly what I’m looking for.  My wardrobe is grateful for this knowledge too.

It all comes down to being willing to learn new things about ourselves, and life.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

GROWING OLDER, with style

I'm a great observer of places and people.  Particularly women.   When it comes to seeing someone who takes your eye and is an example of a person who is comfortable with who and what she is, then this shows in their dress as well as demeanour.

Take Jill for example.  A woman in her 70s and very proud of it.  I have only known her for about 3 years, yet She astounds me with her dress sense and style every time I see her.


For more examples of "growing older" women who are living exciting and adventurous lives, visit our sister-blog,  "the SILVER GENERATION©".   





Thursday, July 23, 2015

GOOD MANNERS

According to a recent publication by Paul Theroux on 31rules for international travel, Australia doesn't come out too well!

If one looks at Rule Number 8, it comes as a slight shock to read:  "The Australian Book of Etiquette is a very slim volume".

While the publication focusses on 31 rules, there are three main areas that are seen to have declined over recent years and those of us who live in this Great South Land could offer even more examples.  It is a great pity these days good manners aren't seen to be important or at the very least taught at primary school level.  It all comes back to lack of respect - lack of respect for and to others, and lack of respect to and for oneself.

Take for instance - people travelling on public transport not offering their seats to pregnant women or the elderly.  Their attitude appears to be - I bought a ticket therefore I have the right to a seat regardless of other people's needs that are greater than mine.  

The next item that offends many of us - whether we be residents here in Australia or visitors, is the trend to use cutlery incorrectly.   Don't people learn how to use a knife and fork together?   Many Australians have adopted the American habit of eating all food with a fork used like a spoon.   Of course then there are those people who don't use a knife or fork, but use fingers.  Not only for finger food but for any solid food that is served - for instance - leaf salads, chops, peas (yes, that's been seen many times), asparagus, even finger tips of rice.

The third item which is apparent in today's society is the lack of good manners when it comes to a man opening a door for a woman.  Too many men expect the woman to open the door for them and then they walk straight in front of her through the door not caring to see that the door doesn't slam back into her.  On the other hand, too many women who demand to be seen as "equals" (read: better than) see good manners from a man as being "weak" and discriminatory and either abuse or glower at him.

We won't get onto the subject of equal pay here, but quite honestly, good manners don't cost a cent, and yet we seem to have lost the ability not only to live express good manners, but to understand what good manners are.

As Tom Elliott (Drive time host on 3AW) says:  In the areas of education, workforce participation and pay, gender equality is undoubtedly a good thing.  But must it come at the expense of social etiquette?

Thursday, June 25, 2015

TAKING RISKS!

I sometimes wish I were a "wordsmith" - someone who could say in a few beautiful words what my heart would like to say and describe.  (I just know someone will write and tell me the word should be "was" and not "were"!)

Reading a wonderful new book the other day, "Out of the Woods but not Over the Hill" by Gervase Phinn, I came across this paragraph:

"Life is full of risks.  If you laugh, you risk being thought silly;  if you weep, you risk appearing mawkish;  if you ask a question, you risk sounding foolish; if you show your feelings, you risk revealing your true self; if you try, you risk failure; if you tell  someone you love them, you risk not being loved back.  But the risk is worth taking, because the person who risks nothing has a pretty tedious life."

This almost says it all.   Reading it makes you realise that you're not the only one who has taken these risks - in fact some readers will have taken them all!

Being human brings with it a level of uncertainty in all manner of situations and circumstances.   Not taking risks seems to me to be rather unwise, for that person never really lives.  Especially having taken the risk and come through the other side a stronger and better person.

*  If you want a book that will delight you, will bring memories of your childhood, and will make you laugh until you roll around the floor, then you must read the books by Gervase Phinn.   Enquire from my friend Meryll at Rainy Day Books and she'll put you in the right direction.   www.rainydaybooksofthebasin.blogspot.com

Friday, June 19, 2015

AGING NEEDN'T BE DAUNTING!


Hidden within all sorts of abysmal news in the national newspaper this week 
I came across this article which I'm quoting hereunder:

The prospect of ageing needn't be daunting as we're happiest at 85, according to new research.

An increasing number of wrinkles and getting undeniably close to death aren't enough to put the elderly off enjoying themselves - research confirms we don;t get sadder as we get older,

In fact, it seems that just the opposite is true.

A telephone poll of 340,000 people showed that after 50, people start progressively getting happier.

By 85, people were more satisfied with themselves than when they were 18.

While the results of the US Gallop telephone poll showed that happiness came with age, it didn't uncover the cause of this phenomenon, as reported in Live Science.

The survey showed that people start out at age 18 feeling pretty good and feel progressively worse until they hit 50.

But after that point, people begin getting happier.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

FASHION and WARDROBE STYLISTS


I can’t keep up with the expressions, Baby Boomers, Gen X, and Gen Y.  To be quite honest I haven’t found anyone who could explain what they mean.  Young people know, because they fit into one or another of the categories.  I’ve given up trying to understand.

But there’s one thing I do understand, and I hope many adult women will take on the title of being a member of the “silver years”.   What I have learned, and what I hear woman of a certain age say every day, is that “fashion” (read:  clothing in the stores, be that major stores or chain stores), is geared for the young, the very young.   Even, unfortunately, many of the brand names that have their own boutique stores.



In this comment I don’t include the following here in Australia:  Big Time Clothing (up to size 50); Sybil’s (up to size 32), Fella Hamilton; Motto; Maggie T. that all display a knowledge of the older woman’s needs in the fact that the majority of their garments fall within the term “classic”.   I still wish however that all these companies who only go to size 20 and yet claim to be "plus size" would consider increasing their clothing range to include size 24 and 26 at least.   

However I digress.  Let me get back to the subject of the “silver style” (elegance and sophistication for the “silver” generation).   For too long the growing older woman has been given the choice of dressing in the mode of young women whose life is fast-paced and quite casual.  The trend towards tops and tee shirts worn over tights is all very well, and certainly satisfies the needs of the young.  Tights go very well too for growing older women who have good legs, flat tummies and taut and trim upper arms and figures and there are many women who have this advantage. 

But we don’t all fit into that category.   Even though our figures have changed in shape and size over the years, doesn’t mean that given sensible, smartly designed and cut stylish clothing that we won’t come up looking fantastic.  This is where classic and style comes into the picture.  For we deserve to look fantastic!

For those of us who are enjoying the “silver” years, there’s a growing interest within our fashion and wardrobe stylists, to cater to our needs as an ongoing focus.   This has taken time, but the Myer buying team have recently noticed “silver shoppers” are being attracted to the designer brands. 

Stylist Jo Blankfield (Melbourne) writes in an article in the Sun Herald this past week:  “silver shoppers had been scared of looking like mutton dressed up as lamb but were starting to rethink their assumptions that there was nothing available for them in fashion outlets where younger women shop.”

That’s all very well especially for growing older women who have slim and trim figures.  Tight, poured-into leather pants really don’t however look good on a woman with curves who usually takes a size 24-26 and not only proudly boasts her curves but also her wrinkles.  She requires a special kind of styling - garments that flatter her figure by fluid lines, are not tight, or too short, or a cheap looking fabric/colour mix.

So “silver women” everywhere, share your views on what you consider to be a classic, stylish wardrobe for your everyday needs, be they as a retired woman or as a career woman.  Share photos of your favourite garments and tell us where you bought them.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

HOW TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF

I am astounded at the number of requests I receive to repeat this particular feature.  It makes so much sense in today's world where, unfortunately it seems that womens' fight for equality remains as intense as when I first published this article.   

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO:

1. Say "no" without feeling guilty

2. Have and express feeling and opinions 

3. Be listened to and taken seriously

4.  Work things out for yourself

5.  Set your own priorities

6.  Change your mind or be illogicial (in the eyes of others)

7.  Make mistakes and take responsibility for them

8.  Not offer excuses for your behaviour (unless you want to)

9.  Get what you pay for

10.  Choose NOT to be assertive


You have the right to be the ultimate judge of your behaviour, thoughts and feelings and to take resplonsibility for them

Sometimes being assertive is not worth the hassle involved, but these occasons are rare.

William Shakespeare said:  This above all - to thine own self be true and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man”   And I might I add the words "or woman".   


Wednesday, June 3, 2015

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY




Be kind to yourself.  

Things just happen, 

so a little prayer 

and knowing that someone is looking after you

 will help you get through.




Monday, June 1, 2015

THIS WORKING LIFE - putting yourself first!



Whatever your age, if you are contemplating returning to work or starting up your own business, then you must face the thought of putting yourself first!  Quite often this brings unrealistic burdens.

A leading Australian careers adviser recently said, "because it's necessary for women to return to the workforce today, there comes a time when the family must sacrifice, but you have to remember that there is a long future at stake for the woman, and it is one that will not always include her children".

Children grow up and move away to follow their own dreams and aspirations.

As a result of financial circumstances or a breakdown in a relationship, you may find you HAVE to work, by either getting a job or creating a job in order to keep the wolf from the door.  Sometimes this happens at a time when you may have planned to be "taking things easy" after having fulfilled 30-40 years in the workplace, whether as an employee or as a homemaker/mother.  Now suddenly it's up to you to start all over again.

If you're in a relationship it certainly is NOT selfish or unrealistic of you to expect that the family, even if it is your partner, to work in with you, to take an interest in what you are doing, and to meet you half-way in everyday chores around the home and garden.  That sounds a little too easy for in far too many cases it is an impossible ask.

If this is the case and you find yourself in this predicament, then it comes back to you.  You have to decide on what is right for you.  If your partner or other family members are indifferent to your needs and requests, and they complain, bicker and make life unbearable for you, then YOU need to take stock of your personal needs and make some long-lasting decisions.  It won't be easy, but you already know that.  Stick with your goals and pursue them.  Don't let your aspirations and dreams take a back seat - you deserve better.

If you are a young woman, you may find being "easy in mind" when working or carrying on your own businsss means getting good homehelp which costs money.  Dining out will become a more common event.  Buying preprepared meals wilL ensure there's always something in the frig and freezer whereby you'll not be expected to come home from work and then spend hours preparing and cooking the family meal.   Or maybe you'll have to depend on your mother, grandmother or other family members to step in and assist.  In today's society however, you will often find your own mother has had her own mid-life crisis as well.  This means instead of taking things easy she now has to seek work too.  Once again a Catch 22, with no relief in sight!

If you are determined to start up your own business, and there's no reason why you shouldn't, even if you are 50, 60, 70, then you might get feelings of vulnerability and uncertainty as to how you should look, how you should dress and how you should promote yourself.  You might be faced with any number of "negative" feelings but you're already further advanced in your thinking, so go forward with confidence.

If there's one thing an older woman has, it's courage.  So when you're faced with how you should promote yourself, you only need to look at yourself as you are, your abilities, talents, skills and capabilities.  You should dress according to your particular preference.  You don't have to conform with what other people say, because your're an individual and individuals don't copy each other.  In today's world there is no such thing as being out of fashion because you have the right to make fashion work for you, not against you.  As far as age and size and looks are concerned, these are only as relevant to your business enterprise as you allow them to be.

The best way to dress is the way you feel happiest.  We should all feel free to be in fashion or out of it, to dress to conform or to show lack of conformity;  to attract attention or play safe;  to be exciting or sensible.  We should also feel free to switch from one to another.  The only requirement is that neatness and tidiness should always be paramount.

How older women see themselves

Women don't necssarily always want to LOOK young.  They just want to look as attractive as they can for their age. Growing older is recognising and coming to terms and even accepting certain limitations on one's power to attract.  It is a passage in time.  For some women "growing older" begins at thirty, for others 40, 50, 60, and even 90.  Clearly it is in the mind more than anywhere else.

Always remember as Barbara Taylor Bradford is quoted as saying:  "Life is not a rehearsal, it's the real thing".
Copyright © 1991-2015 R Parry-Brock, Victoria, Australia


Monday, May 25, 2015

TAKE TIME ......



TAKE TIME to look up at the sky and see the clouds and the birds

TAKE TIME to see the beauty in your garden

TAKE TIME to smile someone you've yet to meet

TAKE TIME to care about someone's feelings

TAKE TIME to realise that you are an important person, even if only to yourself

TAKE TIME to love yourself, with all your failings and foibles

SPEND YOUR TIME in thinking and doing things that are creative and positive

BE GENTLE with yourself

TAKE TIME to tell those you love that you do love them.

TIME PASSES SO QUICKLY SO TAKE TIME 

Friday, May 22, 2015

LIVING ALONE




I knew it had happened when I chose to spend my evening with a good book instead of being with someone. I knew then that aloneness was no longer just something thrust upon me, but something I had embraced, it was a part of my existence, edged by moods that fluctuated wildly because no one was around to temper them.

Living alone is no longer considered peculiar; in fact, it has become a rite of passage; a measure of grown-upness for today’s young women, a steely challenge for newly divorced or aging women whose perspective comes from a close-range view of human differences and foibles. They no longer test the limits of tolerance by discovering that, once again, a spouse or flat-mate has let the bath overflow.

They have, in short, become “set in their ways” - a phrase which I grew up hearing used to describe bachelor uncles and maiden aunts, but which also suits many of our modern one-bedroom apartment dwellers with short tempers and Oriental rugs.

I no longer live alone, although I’ve done so two different times. But, in between, I have lived with a gregarious physicist who had difficulty keeping to his side of the refrigerator;  with a family of two writers and three dogs whose living room was so filled with files that it took me a year to discover they had a coffee table, and - for a few months - with five other people living in a two-bedroom apartment.

Most of these arrangements eventuated purely because of financial necessity at the time. But they all had something much more beneficial to me that just monetary advantages; there’s something about the often frustrating experience of sharing my life with others that keeps me limber. Granted, it’s not always orderly, and we don’t always have something I like for dinner, but I’m learning a tolerance I had lost in my time alone.  And when I am by myself, it’s a joy to rediscover the sweetness of solitude that was blunted when it was my constant companion. I prize privacy even more now because it has its own definite borders.

Of course, we cannot always choose the conditions under which we live our unpredictable lives.  A death, divorce or breakup may suddenly thrust us out on our own, and we may be forced to live alone whether we like it or not. Of course, there are those women who, as a result of many constraints, not only financial, but also health-wise and lack of community networking, find themselves living alone. They may be any age; young, older and elderly. That’s when loneliness and aloneness can become a little blurred, if you are not aware of the subtle differences.

Living alone can be a pleasurable experience, especially if your daytime hours are organised, even within a loose structure of “to do’s”.  Hobbies are always of great importance, but when arthritis or any other complaint hinders movement, other ways and means of enjoying living alone come into play.  Music, which is a great companion, and books, particularly talking books, CDs or DVD tapes and the radio keep people abreast of current affairs and what is going on in the world, as well as the nearby community. Inviting neighbours in for a cup of coffee regularly, maintains human contact and conversation. Accepting invitations to join other women in groups allows for an expansion of ideas and thoughts. Computer studies and courses from nearby Neighbor-hood Houses creates new outlets of creativity and meeting new people.  Finding little coffee shops where we can sit either alone or with a stranger (especially if the coffee shop is very popular and very crowded); striking up a conversation or sitting reading the daily newspaper; brings us close to people without breaking into their spaces.

However it is not just the circumstances that create an addiction to aloneness, but the way we approach them. Friendships, volunteer service - and just plain self-control - are all ways to avoid that comfortable trap that living alone sometimes becomes. And, as I have learned, for those of us to whom aloneness has become an island, there are bridges and ferries to take us back again to being part of a family or a community or a neighbor-hood.

And that means we have choices. When we are contented in being alone then we have the right to enjoy that solitude.  We don’t have to justify these choices, for it is quite easy for us to slip back into our small groups of friends or acquaintances, having gained something from our “time out”.


© 2007 Leonie Stevens, Australia - original submitted to RoseMary's NoteBook for inclusion in the NoteBook newsletter.)
(If this article is actually the property of another person please advise .)

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

QUOTE FOR THE DAY





I don't have grey hair.  
I have "wisdom highlights".  

I'm just very wise.

Sunday, May 10, 2015


RoseMary's NoteBook©
"womanhood should be celebrated - in style - no matter what age, size or shape"©





To all Mothers, Grand-mothers,
Great Grand-Mothers, 
Step Mothers, Foster Mothers,Mothers-in-law, 
and all women who have desired to be a Mother.

May you have a beautiful Mother's Day
surrounded by much love and affection 
from those who love you.

Those Mothers who live a long distance from their families, 
those who may be estranged, 
and those who may have lost children,
May you be comforted with warm and loving memories.

Focus on the beauty and dignity of motherhood 
and your part in giving life to another human being to love and cherish.

Happy Mother's Day