GOOD MANNERS

According to a recent publication by Paul Theroux on 31rules for international travel, Australia doesn't come out too well!

If one looks at Rule Number 8, it comes as a slight shock to read:  "The Australian Book of Etiquette is a very slim volume".

While the publication focusses on 31 rules, there are three main areas that are seen to have declined over recent years and those of us who live in this Great South Land could offer even more examples.  It is a great pity these days good manners aren't seen to be important or at the very least taught at primary school level.  It all comes back to lack of respect - lack of respect for and to others, and lack of respect to and for oneself.

Take for instance - people travelling on public transport not offering their seats to pregnant women or the elderly.  Their attitude appears to be - I bought a ticket therefore I have the right to a seat regardless of other people's needs that are greater than mine.  

The next item that offends many of us - whether we be residents here in Australia or visitors, is the trend to use cutlery incorrectly.   Don't people learn how to use a knife and fork together?   Many Australians have adopted the American habit of eating all food with a fork used like a spoon.   Of course then there are those people who don't use a knife or fork, but use fingers.  Not only for finger food but for any solid food that is served - for instance - leaf salads, chops, peas (yes, that's been seen many times), asparagus, even finger tips of rice.

The third item which is apparent in today's society is the lack of good manners when it comes to a man opening a door for a woman.  Too many men expect the woman to open the door for them and then they walk straight in front of her through the door not caring to see that the door doesn't slam back into her.  On the other hand, too many women who demand to be seen as "equals" (read: better than) see good manners from a man as being "weak" and discriminatory and either abuse or glower at him.

We won't get onto the subject of equal pay here, but quite honestly, good manners don't cost a cent, and yet we seem to have lost the ability not only to live express good manners, but to understand what good manners are.

As Tom Elliott (Drive time host on 3AW) says:  In the areas of education, workforce participation and pay, gender equality is undoubtedly a good thing.  But must it come at the expense of social etiquette?

HOW WORDS CAN HURT!

An interesting article appeared in the Melbourne Herald Sun earlier this month dealing with "words".

And those words the article speak about apply to people of size who are given negative messages, and how those messages influence how we feel and then how we respond.

This is my own photo.

Here's the article in its entirety:

WEIGHING UP WORDS

"New research into how comments can affect health has found women 

whose loved ones criticise their weight are prone to put on even more weight.

Professor Christine Logel, from Canada's University of Waterloo, 

said women who receive a high number of what the researchers called "acceptance mssaes" 

about their weight had better weight maintenance - and even weight loss - than their counterparts who did not receive this positive mesdaging from their loved ones."

I guess both you and I could affirm this finding without needing to undertake a research study.

What this tells us is that we must be aware of how we use words, what words we use, and to think about the ramifications should those words be negative or critical.

I bet by now you're wondering what a photo of bright orange flowers has to do with this post.  Nothing really, and everything as a matter of fact.   As a blogger I am becoming even more aware of the intricacies of blogging and using photos from the internet or from other people.  It just isn't on, and it needs to be repeatedly brought to our attention that just because you can get a photo of picture/clipart that appears to be "free" on the internet, it ain't necessarily so.  

 Just like words (that can be plagiarised), photos can be considered fair game as well.  So the bright orange flowers above are my way of saying I'm original!!!!!

BELIEF!

BELIEF (in ourselves) is the knowledge that we can do something.  It’s the inner feeling that what we undertake we can accomplish.  For the most part, all of us have the ability to look at something and know whether or not we can do it.

So, in belief there is power; 

our eyes are opened;  

our opportunities become plain; 

our visions become realities.

Friendship!

Many women from all around Australia and overseas are part of the RoseMary's NoteBook© mailing list.   They're all very special women, and over the years we have come to know each other, and in many cases to share each other's problems and lives.   It's amazing how having a friend, even the other side of the world, can brighten and lift us up should we be feeling down at heart or worried about life issues and matters.  One thing that I have always guaranteed and plays a big part in my Code of Ethics which I set back in 1991 is confidentiality.   I am proud of the fact that I have never digressed from those aims and objectives.   Women trust me, and I hold that trust very high.

With the arrival of the storms that hit Australia in the early hours and days of January, which have continued unabated and increasingly fierce with the arrival of Cyclone Yasi, many of my friends have been effected by these incredible occurrences.   Not only in Queensland but in most of the other States as well, as the torrential rains and floodwaters continue to cover vast expanses of this, the "driest continent".   The tail of Cyclone Yasi is expected to bring even heavier torrential rains into Victoria, where an "inland sea" continues to cover many parts of the North West.  Those rains are also expected to concentrate on the North East as well.

The personal and financial bills of these floods and now the cyclone are almost beyond comprehension.   Thousands upon thousands of families have been effected and in a sad majority of cases, relationships are already being torn apart.  Children are traumatised.   Homes and farms that haven't been washed away are still under water and could be for another two months - how does one deal with that?

At times like this we are at a loss to know what to do.  Those who can, volunteer to help out through agencies and by individual assistance.   Those who can, give financially.   Those who are limited in their ability to do much at all, do what women have always done, sat and prayed about their friends.

And this morning a darling friend of mine from Louisina, USA, wrote to ask how I am faring.   Now that's a sign of friendship.   Writing a loving message from the other side of the world to say that she's thinking of me.  

And that is the sort of thing that friends do.   Not only care about each other, but tell each other that they're important.   And my dear friend has done just that.  She's reminded me that a few words can make a difference to how we feel - about circumstances, about ourselves and about our lives.