Having a sensible doctor!

The newspapers scream "women are TOO fat". Television current affairs night after night show women to be scraggly or plump, but always with camera angles that are derogatory and demeaning!

Inevitably the anchorwoman of the show is a young and healthy, beautiful and slim woman who has the added advantage of flattering and expensive clothing and her hair and makeup carefully applied by, I suspect, television station beauticians. Well, after all, she does represent the television station and programme as well as portraying what all women should look and dress like! Well, that's the inference anyway! I accept that point.

But I get angry when special stories are promoted highlighting excessive weight losses by women, to the detriment of those of us who can't lose the weight we're told we should do, in order that we too might be seen to be acceptable. There were years when I was an avid "dieter" but I quickly came to the conclusion that I am UNABLE to shed the kilos and keep them off, without going to utmost extremes.

As far as my Dr and various Specialists I've attended over the years tell me, I am doing myself untold physical and emotional damage each time I abuse my body by stressing it out with "diets" and exercise regimes which are entirely inappropriate.

Now I am not for one moment saying I don't believe in "sensible" eating or regular light exercise, I do and am very disciplined in this regard. But I'm referring to those attending a gym every day and having a personal trainer who will take me through the steps and ensure that I come out the other end, fit, slim, slender, sexy and the whole bit. But who can afford a personal trainer anyway?

So when my Dr sat me down the other day and gave me a good talking to, I sat up and took notice. (That's not a contradiction, I did sit down and I did sit up!)

Would you believe it? He talked about things like hereditary body shape, things like comfort foods especially as they relate to our childhood and early years and times when we need to recall the feelings of "comfort"; things like stress (either work related or relationship related!); and the fact that, wait for it, some foods react differently to others depending upon a lot of chemical and psychological things within any one person's body. He added that because of medications many women take, we must never assume that they're not having some effect on our bodies or even the food we eat, or vice versa.

What he said newly blew my mind. I thought to myself. "So this is why my best girl friend Helga can eat ANYTHING she likes, in WHATEVER quantity she likes, WHENEVER she likes, prepared and cooked in WHATEVER way she likes, without adding a gram of weight". Sometimes when Helga is in her "creative" mood (she's an artist and artists are allowed to behave any way they like!), she will snack ALL DAY!

I broke down and cried when my Dr explained this to me. But then he added, "it's not so much what you put in your mouth or how much you're putting in your mouth, but perhaps it's the food itself!".

I'd heard this said before. Because I belong to a group of professional ladies all with interests in self-esteem motivation and the like, this suggestion had been spoken about many times over the years. Even today though there's not much research into what is IN the food we're eating, so hearing my Dr put forward the same theory, made me realise there's got to be something in the notion.

I'm shocked to find even in my small research into the subject, that there are already many problems with genetically modified foods; foods that have preservatives and additives, chemicals and colourings; and the unexplained dramatic increase in allergies, even in small children. There are too many excuses being made in this regard obviously by people who have a vested interest in the whole concept, but with no-one giving reliable and honest reasons or answers.

But I've learned a valuable lesson. My curves are ME! They are bigger than some, and smaller than others. But my curves are NOT to be seen as evidence that I am out of control in any way. They merely show that I am fully-rounded like any self-respecting intelligent woman should be!

The fact that my partner sees my body as "pleasing" to him and who has NEVER caused me to think about my size, should have assured me, I know. But it took a caring Dr who took a few extra minutes of his time to explain things so that I could understand, from a medical standpoint, that have made me realise I had fallen into the habit of not reinforcing my own self-worth, but rather had been putting myself down!

No more.

© Leonie Stevens, Australia

Beyond the Curve! ©

I see where local  newspapers appear to be overcoming their “mind-set” and are presenting special articles relating to the size plus woman.  More often than not, it is of America’s well known television identities, but nevertheless BIG girls are getting some attention and publicity.

I don’t know about you, but I’m finding the lack of words in the English language, to describe anyone who is a little larger, wider, heavier or taller than the paper-thin waifs who usually grace our catwalks as well as our fashion pages, a little frustrating.

I must admit that I do NOT like the word FAT.  There are too many innuendos associated with the word - overweight, obese, morbidly obese, immense, huge, oversize, jumbo, gross, heavy, hefty and so it goes.  As many of the weight programs of the past have reminded us and humiliatingly told us in no uncertain terms, we were carrying too much lard around with and on us.  To bring the point much nearer home, they even used to make us pass hand to hand huge lumps of fat (obtained from the butcher - sometimes up to 5 kgs) among the ladies, so that each of us saw and felt firsthand what our bodies were like under the skin.  Ugh!

But back to more recent times.  You will recall the famous “acceptance” speech given by Camryn Manheim (star of the series The Practice - why don’t we see more series like this where a “big” girl is shown as intelligent, witty, glamorous and sexy?) in which she said, “this is for all the fat girls”.   Camryn wore a carefully chosen slinky black dress to reinforce her self acceptance and to make a statement on behalf of large women everywhere.  (Photo from the internet  acknowledgement to copyright owner),

Then Italian designer Masks included Jennifer Nicholson (daughter of Jack) who is a big girl, in amongst his regular pencil thin waifs, to model his spring/summer fashions.  Jennifer was a great success, strutting her stuff in the very heart of “thin is beautiful” country.   Jennifer now has her own label and doing very well, thank you very much!

Something I recently read though struck a chord, 

“the new magazines, role models and clothing lines 

don’t change the fact that plus-size women (everywhere) 

sometimes become recluses 

because they don’t feel comfortable around their average size peers.

This is still a world in which people face job discrimination because of their size.”

I question the words “average-size peers”, because you know and I know, that here in Australia as in Britain and the USA, the height and size of women has increased over the past couple of decades.  American manufacturers have already adapted their size range to take into account sizes 14 and 16 (which I understand is equivalent to Australian sizes 16 and 18), and in fact many manufacturers have redefined the size chart by starting from O and going on and up through 1X, 2X 3X and so on.   On course the other end of the scale has been included too!  Now women are doing their best (which in other words means the worst for their bodies and minds) to achieve size zero, and even double zero.

I remember Rosemary (RoseMary's NoteBook©) commenting on this some years ago when she asked the question, what happens when they start going back into Triple Zeros and further?  Does this mean that women will just fade away and be no more?

Coming back to the American style “X” sizing, I know for a fact that many women feel happier and more confident in asking for a size 5X than say sizes 30-32-34.  Perhaps Australian manufacturers will one day soon see the wisdom in redefining the size structure of their clothes to fit in with the modern shape and size of Australian women, rather than hanging on to outmoded and antiquated ideas?

This is the 21st Century for goodness sake.  We don’t need “fuddy-duddy faddy-trendy” designers of tender years continuing inappropriate attitudes when considerating and creating fashion for the woman of today.

It’s about time that people within the fashion industry limber out of their T model Fords and thought about supersonic space travel.  Let them bury their antiquated attitudes towards women who have a different shape and size to the plastic maznnikins that grace our store windows and our catwalks.

I love reading and hearing about success stories of women who are beyond the curve.  The more often we hear and read about women of larger size, the sooner shape and size will become more acceptable (at least as far as we are concerned).

If it's up to us to really start the ball rolling, then so be it.  If people won’t “listen” to us, we can still write letters or send emails.  To magazines, newspapers, to designers, to fashion buyers of national department and retail stores, to the boutique owner around the corner.  Somewhere along the line, someone will take notice.

They say good things come to those who wait - perhaps I getting a little edgy about waiting too long1  And patience is a virtue - and I like to think that I’m a virtuous woman!   So .......

Daisy Veitch (Australia) has been working on educating manufacturers and retailers on the changing shape and size of women.  Visit her website and have a read of some of her findings at   http://www.sharpdummies.com.au/

.... © Rose Davida, Kent, UK