HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!

Well, as you’ll see it’s been a long while since I “posted” on my blog.   Some people have asked the reasons why, while others haven’t said a word.  Does that mean not many of my regulars have been following me after all?

However, ever the inveterate optimist, that’s me.  So I’m starting the New Year off with a reminder to everyone to please keep this blog current and to “follow me” on your computer.  Perhaps you’ll learn a thing or two, perhaps you’ll be entertained, informed and/or educated.  Perhaps you won’t learn a thing, but hey, let’s keep in contact one way or another.

Many of my friends have gathered up the courage to try out FaceBook.  Well, my friends, believe it or not, I’m trying to grasp the ins and outs of FaceBook myself.  But it’s not as easy as it sounds.  Oh yes, young people seem to be able to navigate it quite smoothly and even to make it work for them.  Me, I stumble and I stagger around, but at least I’m trying.  Yes, I hear many of my friends say, you definitely are “trying”, Rosemary!

But with that, I’d like to start off by stating, the obvious.  I don’t know where “fashion” is here in Australia - has it gone to sleep, is it hiding, or does it only come out at night?  As all my loyal readers know I am a great “observer” of people, particularly women, and I can’t see where there is anything exciting being worn by the majority of women who visit our shopping malls and larger centres during daylight hours.  Once again, and please don’t blame me, but it seems to be to be “same all, same all”.   Where’s the flare, where’s the fun, where’s the flounces, where’s the feminity, where’s the feisiness?

Dull, boring, cut off pants and tee shirts.  Jeans and tee shirts.   “Hippy” style long skirts with tee shirts.   Slip slop thongs (I mean the footwear not the undies).   Bra straps showing and for those who don’t wear bras, a lot of “other” showing.   

Let’s start 2016 off with an understanding of what we can wear, how we can wear it and how we can embrace our femininity with style.   It’s a matter of experiment, experiment, experiment.  Experiment with colours, with textures, with fabrics, with designs and what ever else you can think of.

Layering brings with it a whole kaleadiscope of possibilities.  You can put together colours that you may not usually wear, but take the plunge.  You’ll enjoy the experience.

'til next time

Rosemary

COLOURS AND HOW WE FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES

It’s all got to do with a basic knowledge of what colours suit you and your complexion.  Believe it or not but colours ARE important, not only to how you look but to how you feel.

Let’s face it, with everything that’s going on around us at any time, we need to feel “good” about ourselves.   There’s enough criticism and negativity that is inferred, or said, by others to make us feel less optimistic about ourselves.  That shouldn’t be, and we know we shouldn’t take any notice, but unfortunately there are days when we do.  And we fall in a heap.  We start criticising ourselves.  We vent our anger at ourselves for being too fat, too ungainly, too clumsy, too dull, too boring.  Then we become even more critical on how we dress.

If I turn my thoughts into focussing on “me” all the time, then I lose track of what is important to me, and in my life.  Many women I have spoken and listened to, who have all come to the conclusion that we know what is best for us, agree that when we have basic knowledge of what is good for us, then we can add to it, work on it, and enhance it.  Thus making our lives happier and contented.

When I was younger I wasn’t aware there were most definitely colours that didn’t suit me.  I saw lovely garments in the stores, I went in, tried them on in the store dressing rooms and handed over my hard earned money for them.  Taking them home and hanging them in the wardrobe, it simply didn’t occur to me to ask myself why, after something like 5 years, I had never worn that garment again.  I learned much later it was because the colours did not suit me.  The lighting in the dressing rooms of the stores and my hunger to find something I liked made me lost focus.

That was until I met Susan M of Booragoon, WA.  An Image Consultant par excellence.  Susan took me through the steps of understanding the range of colours and the importance of yellow based and blue based colours.  Now for a long while I couldn’t understand what a “blue based yellow” was, nor a “yellow based blue”.   It took time, and I’m glad it did because now when I see a colour I know immediately what category it falls under.   I’m a “blue based person” so when I go into a store I know exactly what I’m looking for.  My wardrobe is grateful for this knowledge too.

It all comes down to being willing to learn new things about ourselves, and life.

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.

"FASHION WATCH"

Of all this small group, I found Miller's had the most appealing offerings.   It will be interesting to see how the stores progress into the New Year with their selections.   Keep tuned for our next "Fashion Watch" here in Australia, particularly those that are affordable and at the same time flattering.

BEAUTIFUL GARMENTS for BEAUTIFUL GIRLS!

If you haven't heard of Monif C then make it a point to visit their website, and view their fashion.

At the moment Monif C has a great Sale going on, and here are a couple of items that have taken my eye.

The "Dominique Magenta" frock is a special at the moment at $68

The "Marilyn" Short Red frock is a special at the moment at $78

Both these garments will suit a woman of any age, and be a wonderful addition to anybody's wardrobe.

LATEST "FASHION"?

Is there something wrong with my perceptions of a beautiful woman wearing beautiful clothes, or what?   I observe women walking down the street or through the shopping malls every day of the week.   I take an interest in looking at how corporate women dress, how they look and how they move - confidently and very aware of their own presence.  I am very partial to the opinion that there are "power" colours and styles, as I have seen how a woman's self image can change with a particular colour or dress code.

Some of the women I observe look smart, some look comfortable, some look as though they're experimenting with fashion, while there are those also who look as though they didn't really care what they put on that morning (which of course is their choice and who am I to question?)

What I do see however is plain for everyone to see.  The women who we pass every day are of differing heights, and differing sizes.  There are petite, average, large and plus size.   They all make up the whole.   Good clothing can make a woman look good and feel good about herself.

Yet it is when I see "fashion" as depicted in our national and international women's magazines, the websites of those organisations and catwalk (now called runway) presentations on the internet, that I can't help myself from shuddering.   Take for instance a couple of photos from Vogue Australia showing our spring/summer collections.  It's not only the clothing that I can't quite perceive as being "fashion", it's the choice of models.   Young models today seem to come from the one mould - they look the same (except for being blonde as opposed to brunette); they walk the same - they look like little schoolgirls, and they pout the same.

But it is the "fashion" that eludes me - if you can call it "fashion".  I always seem to be complaining about the stance and walk of models these days - (I admit I'm oldfashioned but ...) Am I being too critical in suggesting that this model could look better if she had bought some outfits from the local Salvation Army Thrift Shop?    (Visit some of the excellent Pre-Loved stores and also recycle websites and you'll see what I mean).  The second photo makes me think the clothes were thrown onto the model and she was sent out to the runway looking stunned and slightly un-dressed!  Do they EVER look in the mirror before heading off down the runway?  Let's face it - what do you think of the stockings?  Reminds me of attending college when stockings were always sliding down to the ankles - now it's seen as "fashion"?

When it comes to "fashion" though, look at any teenager down the street and in a lot of cases they'll be wearing clothes that look better than the latest runway fashion.  Yet because of the influence of the national and international magazines, they take notice of treating their clothing as old rags.  And they pay plenty of money for those old rags.

So I thought I'd visit Vogue UK to see what they are promoting for the Northern Hemisphere Winter - here are two examples.  Please tell me though, is this really "fashion" or just a set of clothes put together?

Another thing are our models getting even thinner than ever?    Is there any flesh on the body at all?

HEARD on the GRAPEVINE!

Have you heard?   Britain's increasing demand for plus size clothing has seen the emergence of Taking Shape from here in Australia, launching their opening of 30 high street shops, apparently right throughout and across Britain.

From the little I know about plus size fashion in the UK, I thought they had a very good stable of suppliers, in many instances (and in my humble opinion) of higher quality fabric and design that many offered here in Oz.

However, Taking Shape has decided to give the market a run for its money and it will be interesting to see the results.

For that matter, encouraging inter-country trade, I'd like to see more European including UK stores come across to Australia, as well as some of the better known American stores.

We at RoseMary's NoteBook© believe that plus size fashion should be good quality, good design, be made from good fabric, have good sewmanship, and be affordable!   The fact that more women are becoming categorised as plus size (those who used to be size 14 as considered "typical" are now seen as plus size) means the market is bigger - for if sizes 14 through to 26/30 are all plus size, then that market must be extremely profitable, due to potential volume of sales.

Yet because much of the plus size rag trade garments here are made off-shore (and cheap) we don't get value for money.   Nor, sadly, do the people who actually sew the garments (you've probably seen recent documentaries on the rag trade situation in India).

Perhaps it's time for tailoring to come back as a profession - it would surely fill a void.

MAKING AN IMPRESSION - WHY DON'T WE?

Do you shy away from the camera?

I don’t know about you, but I think it’s high time we (the amply endowed women of the world) got out from behind our blinkers and our protective fortresses and tried some new things.

A lot of us haven’t yet come to terms with a camera.  With what a camera sees when it looks at us.  When we see a photograph that’s been taken, our eyes are immediately drawn to:  our double chins; our fat tummy; our drooping boobs;  our hair that could do with a trim;  our face that could probably do with some sort of improvement, and one of our favourite garments that has seen better days.  We look at the photo critically and with no sense of reality.    We’re intimidated with what  we “assume” the camera has seen within and about us.  And we’re uncomfortable!   And the more uncomfortable we get, the more often we’ll refuse to have our photo taken.  

You and I both know of women who have refused to have their photo taken for 20, 30, 40 and more years!   Are you one of them?

Missing out on incredible experiences and in turn memories because we’re scared off by cameras is a great pity.   It’s almost as though we want to be invisible.   There’s certainly a small amount of shame in the decision.  Why?

We’re unique individuals, and we should be proud of who we are, and dare I say it, but we should be proud of what we look like.   We’re all different, but we belong to the family of “women”.  We belong to our own personal family, with all its inherited genes and characteristics, and it’s not only our current families but even those who are to come who will ask about us, and how better to show them than by photographs.  Photographs that show us in our different age seasons.  Photographs that show us in life situations - celebrations, family/friend get-togethers, birthdays, weddings and the like.  Miss the opportunity and they miss out, as well as us.

"STAGGERING LEVELS"

Headlines blazed across the television screen this morning, NUMBER OF "OBESE" AUSTRALIANS REACHES 'STAGGERING LEVELS'

For a woman who wears size 20 clothes (and sometimes I have to buy sizes 24 and 26 even though I don't change shape or weight in order to get something to fit), I have come to the stage where I am no longer willing to be categorized as a burden to Australian society because of my size.

In reading a lot of material about plus-size (much of it from the archives of plus-related books and articles as well as contemporary writings), I've come to realise that in the past as well as the present, we have been given the most humiliating descriptions possible and we've been expected to accept that discrimination without a murmur.

Personally I've been told that:

• if I want to be accepted as an equal in the work-scene I have to lose weight;  
• if I want my views and balanced opinions to be listened to seriously about all manner of issues, then I should lose weight; 
• if I want to be accepted as an intelligent woman ( a lot of plus size women are considered to be dull and not having much sense), then I would have to lose weight;
• if I want to be accepted as a patient in many small as well as major hospitals then I would have to lose weight;
• if I want to be treated respectfully at many restaurants around the country and to be seated comfortably at one of their tables, then there was an inference that I should lose some weight - ("we can't provide chairs for people who aren't standard size" I've been told more than once).  Just exactly what do they mean by "standard size"? - should everyone be identical in height, width, shape, size and looks, so that we are "standard'?)
• if I want a reasonable range of clothing to choose from then it would be preferable to be a few sizes less

and the list goes on.

It's when the health industry publicly gets vocal in their non-acceptance of us that things start to turn nasty. For the media is always eager to sensationalise reality and they grab hold of what the health industry state, and we become the agents for not only discrimination but ridicule.   The health industry has the ability and the opportunity to improve our lives by seeing us as we are, and then working with us to assist us to become more healthy.  Working with us means NOT to insist that we lose weight by outrageous diets or disfiguring and dangerous surgery.  Too many studies have been carried out that now claim it is not necessary to be thin to be healthy.  We get blamed for being who we are when if the health and fitness industry looked deeper into the question, they have it within their means to enhance our lives as they are right now.

So the health industry reminds us that we are fat and overweight and then the media takes up the message and emblazons the television screens, the national magazines and even the newspapers with reports and photographs that do nothing to assist in our self-esteem.

Because that's where the whole subject loses its way.  If society and this includes the media and the health industry, were to readily accept the plus-size woman and encourage her to make the very best of what she has, then she would become healthier and happier.  And with that her self-esteem would rise.

It's self-esteem that we have to aim for, first and foremost.   

©  Rose Davida

THE OBESITY DEBATE ...

How times change!    Years ago and yes, let's face it, decades ago, life was different.   When we were kids we raced around playing games - we run or skipped or jumped at any time, and anywhere.   We played outdoor games such as "rounders", baseball (albeit a gentler version than the boys), basketball, tried out tennis and even wanted to be included in the boys' cricket team.   We were busy being kids and raced around before school, during play times and at lunch time, and then again after we came home from school.  

As young adults, we walked to High School and then later when we found a job we walked to our place of work.   At lunch time we either walked around the city window shopping or sat in the park eating a packed lunch and if we had a drink it would be from the water fountain in the park, or else we took a thermos of tea.  Yes!   We drank tea - soft drinks were only there for special occasions such as a birthday party or a family celebration.   Not everyday.   If we were meeting with our friends to go to the "pictures" (cinema) or to go dancing on a Friday night or Saturday afternoon, we got there by walking.   Even in high heeled shoes and I do admit to wearing high-heels in my youth.   But the main thing is that we walked and even though we didn't necessarily attend exercise classes, we certainly got plenty of exercise from doing ordinary every-day things.  We even walked to the local telephone box to make important calls.  No one had a personal telephone in their homes - they were for companies, places like hospitals and hotels and such.

Becoming older adults, marrying and having children, we still walked everywhere.  Who could afford a car back then?  Who could afford to catch a taxi?  They were very few and far between.   Bending, stretching, constantly moving doing housework, spending time in the kitchen preparing meals for a hungry family, getting down on our knees to wash and polish the floors, weekly dusting, and doing the laundry - I even remember my first washing machine some 15 years into my marriage; couldn't afford one before then.  We were physically tired each day.   Three hours at a gym?   We'd never even heard the word gym  used to describe attending a social networking,  a gym to us had been a part of our school-day when we were younger.   

Fast forward a couple or three decades.   Public transport made travelling a breeze, even to places of work.  Some of us even commuted intrastate or interstate.   We could afford to have a personal telephone in every room of the house.  Supermarkets had arrived on the scene where you could buy almost anything - of course meat and vegetables were still only available from their respective shops in the beginning but that too, soon changed.   We were able to afford, having taken a hire purchase agreement to pay off in regular instalments, a refrigerator.  So "modern" after the ice chest that most of us had grown up with. Electrical appliances of all sorts came onto the market, making life easier.  Or should I perhaps say, a little lazier?

Women even had the opportunity of buying their own car.   What freedom.  We could go where we liked, when we liked and we didn't have to ask anyone's permission.   We could even seek out a tea shop where we could meet friends and spend time together.   But we still walked a lot, and worked a lot around the house, as well as when the opportunity arose, holding down a full time job.

Shopping centres came into being.  Big, huge, centres where lots of different shops tempted the pay packet.   Little coffee shops sprung up, and it soon became normal to by-pass the friendly local shopping strip and go to the Mall where you could buy everything you needed all at the one stop.   Chinese restaurants opened; and then many new and different tantalising exotic foods appeared;  we didn't need to travel overseas to enjoy the luxuries of "foreign" foods.  

And what does all this have to do with obesity?   Well, I'm no health expert, but I am an observer.   We became more and more dependent upon the convenience of getting into the car to go down the street to shop or even to visit someone in the back street, rather than walking.   If we were running late we caught a taxi - hang the cost.   Frozen meals appeared on the supermarket shelves and we took to them like ducks to water.  We could save time!    We didn't have to slave over the kitchen stove cooking and preparing meals.   Laundromats opened - so each week we could take the bedlinen and laundry there and for a couple of dollars get it all done without having to lug it out and hang it up on the clothes line at home.   We could pick up the phone and get a local man to come around and cut the grass and clean up the garden.    Some career women even had the luxury of having someone in to clean the house each week.  Life became easier and it definitely became lazier.

And how to fill in the time that we saved?   We could sit in front of the wonderful new "thing" that was taking everybody's interest - a television and then wow! a computer, and spend hours learning new things.   We could pick up a small mobile phone and use it not only as a means of keeping in touch with friends and family but also to carry on our business.   We turned our homes into our own small offices.

Our eating habits changed along with the change in our life-style (i.e. the energy used in doing everyday chores).  Because we were no longer doing physically demanding jobs around the house and workplace, we began to "eat out".   It was all very exciting and new.  It became "normal" to go to the Mall every day, sit and have a cup of coffee and more often then not a donut or cream cake.  No longer were we content with a packed lunch and a piece of fruit - there were too many other things to enjoy.  After morning tea we'd go to another restaurant and have lunch.   Oh well, after a bit of shopping, why not stop and have another cup of coffee and a small snack.   If we were thirsty we could pick and choose between countless soft drinks and if we were very thirsty we'd even have two.   We'd smile knowingly when older people spoke about the three meals a day routine - a good breakfast, a light lunch and a wholesome dinner at night - what did they know?  

If our clothes became a bit tight, we'd just go and buy a larger size.   We could then have our cake and eat it too!

Did we see what was happening to us?   In our eagerness to embrace all the many changes that occurred over the decades following the Second World War, we didn't realise that we were doing our bodies immeasurable harm.   In recent years we've had to re-learn what is "healthy" food, nutritious food, wholesome food.  We've had to learn to eat today's food in moderation and we've had to learn to read labels.   And that, my friends, is a debatable point.  The labels say a lot, and they don't say enough.  They don't say what is really important.   We read:  no added fat;  but that doesn't say mean what it says.  Because no we know there are various types of fat - some good and some very, very bad!    The word "added" means nothing;  "no added sugar"?, but it doesn't say that there are already sugars within that product.  Again the words "added sugars" means nothing, because we don't know exactly what is in that product.    Nothing seems to be grown naturally or manufactured naturally these days - there's something added, there's something taken away and then of course the "additives" - chemicals, vitamins (if they were grown correctly why should they need vitamins to be added?); minerals, colours, taste enhancers, emulsifiers and on it goes.

Are you aware that a Baskin & Robbins Yoghurt Smoothie contains between 29-31 teaspoons of sugar?   Boost Juice's Skinny Minny Melon has 549 kJ (131 calories).   I hate counting calories but it do realise the significance of one small glass of juice having 131 calories!   

What's the answer?   Common sense combined with wanting to do the best for our bodies (and our minds) as we possibly can.   We don't need to starve ourselves, or to constantly diet, or to spend hundreds of dollars going to the gym.   It comes down to mind over matter and accepting what is, and changing what can be changed to benefit our own personal health.

Me?   I admit I'm a plus-size woman.   Every woman in my family for at least four generations has been considered plus-size. We're also tall.   I enjoy good food; and I read recently that there is no such as "bad" food - it's all food.  It's the quantity and the balance that are important.   And I guess that says it all.

IS THAT ALL THERE IS? (with apologies to Leiber & Stoller)

I read a fascinating article yesterday by Judith Rasband (and which was originally written some 15 years ago I am led to believe) that states the US is going down the tube (here in Oz we use the term down the gurgler) as far as fashion is concerned because of its obsession with tee shirts and jeans. I think the writer has hit the nail on the head, and of course it's not only the US that has fallen into this mode of dress - it's obviously the same in Australia, and I suspect similar in the UK?  

Tee shirts and jeans have their place - don't get me wrong.  I've been on this particular soapbox for a long while now, and yes I do wear jeans and I do have some cami tops that are made from tee shirt fabric, but I mix and match a lot whether it be colours, or style of dress.  But why is it taking so long for "fashion" to catch up with what seems to be an apathy against trying something different?

This trend of tee shirts and jeans for "any"occasion (read "ALL" for many women) reinforces my observations gained some years back, and reiterated by Judith in her article where she says:

"With a wide range of affordable, attractive, and comfortable clothing choices available, Americans' choice of dress has descended to the level of T-shirt and jeans or sweats. Americans now own more T-shirts and jeans than ever before.

Levi Strauss and Company has called the casual dress movement "the most significant apparel trend of the century." What is most notable, however, is that decline in standards of dress goes hand in hand with cultural decline, manifested in productivity and participation, personal identity, manners, and ultimately, morals—with casual dress being both cause and symptom. In short, America is going down the tube in a T-shirt!

By productivity and participation, I refer to personal effort and output. Personal identity means individuality, personality, character, and independence of thought. For centuries, including the present one, manners has meant common social courtesies and traditional standards of etiquette. By morals, I mean self-control, respect, and discipline—social and sexual."


She goes on:

"Personal Identity 
Dressed in the androgynous look of T-shirt and jeans, we all look alike. When we look alike, we begin to feel and act alike. We lose variety, individuality, and personal style. Many become dependent on looking like everyone else–unable to cope with the thought of standing out in a crowd."

I would recommend the reading of Judith Rasband's article - as pertinent today as when it was written.  In fact even moreso, because we've become so used to not thinking about changing our choices, that the tee shirt and jeans phenomona has become ingrained and doesn't want to step aside.

Here's a photograph I took of a window display at a leading (?) menswear store in suburban Melbourne earlier last year.   The price tag on the jeans was $180.   Worth it?  Obviously someone would buy them and boast about them being the "latest"!!!!

Photo copyright © ZuzuGreen

"Fashion. Fashion?"

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!

I've been around for a while - get the joke?  ("a-round"?)   But seriously in recent times I'm not sure what the word "fashion" means any more.

According to the various dictionaries the word itself can cover a whole array of different meanings, from "habits", to a signature, to how something is done or happens.   As far as women's national and international magazines are concerned, then fashion more or less depicts the latest and most admired style in clothes and cosmetics.

Remember  (oh, what memories!) Bambi Shmith (nee Patricia Harewood), Diane Masters, Janice Wakely, June Dally-Watkins, Jeanette Elphick (who changed her name when she went to Hollywood to Victoria Shaw)?  Perhaps I haven't kept up with the times.  Because those models were VERY different to today's models - in many ways,  *  (and I'll talk more about this in a later post).   But in a nutshell fashion to me equals "style" - not only in the garments that are modelled, but the models themselves.

The mannequins of the 1950s and 1960s modelled garments which accentuated the female form; they gave a sensual motion of femininity in their walk and posture and created an ongoing illusion of fantasy/reality for the simple reason that copies of the garments they wore were soon to be seen in our corner "emporiums" and affordable to all - even if it meant layby-ing said garments for six months or more.   Many of us actually went to "deportment classes" - remember the Mannequin's Academy in Melbourne?, where we were taught to speak correctly; walk and sit correctly; and to be as lady-like as we could be.  Some of us weren't too sure whether "girls from the western suburbs" (read - the wrong side of the Yarra River!) could ever be called "ladies" but we sure had fun mixing with those girls from Toorak and South Yarra who went to the classes with us.  I guess we "hoped" that the lady-like characteristics would rub off on us.   I'd like to think so.  

But I'm digressing, as I am wont to do occasionally.    Maggie Alderson, a leading Fashion Stylist, who writes for a leading women's magazine and also has her own blog Style Notes, was asked during a recent interview "are you offended at what you see today as being fashion, compared with that of 20 years ago?"  With any hesitation she answered no.   In her opinion, fashion is really the style a woman feels comfortable with, and if she wishes to follow the seasonal trends then that is her prerogative.  If she remains constant in her choice of clothing, then that is her right as well.  Fashion in Maggie's view, as indeed mine, is that it is constantly growing and finding new ways of expressing itself, as indeed do you and I.

I've been of the opinion for a long time that when a woman finds her own style - whether it be conservative, sophisticated, goth, feminine, romantic, classic, vintage, serious or casual, then it's wise to stay with that style.  Although, with that said, and I do contradict myself at times, it's nice sometimes to "break out" and do something really startling which surprises everyone, including you!

And combined with style, when a woman discovers the colours that suit her, then a whole new world opens.   Take Sheila Scotter for instance - that lovely lady only ever wore black and white (and tones of the same).  She always looked stunning.

This is where sometimes "fashion" or the stores through which we buy our fashion, let us down.   Stores would be wise to occasionally take note of what their customers tell them.   Many women prefer certain colours, in fact if they wear the "wrong" colour to suit them, then everybody knows it.  Including the wearer.   How often have you bought yourself something that looked good in the store, looked good on the clothes hanger, looked good when you stood in front of the store mirror, only to find when you got it home that it made you look - bulky, ungainly, frumpy, showed up your imperfections including making your skin look sallow or too red?   Another frustration is when you simply want something like pants in black, and the colour of the season is brown or navy.   Infuriating!

But if you feel terrible in a garment that you thought looked nice in the store and it isn't, then it's not you at fault.  It's not the fault of the garment either, it's just that the garment in question doesn't suit YOU, whereas on someone else it will look terrific.  Too often though that store, and all those around, don't stock that style in a colour that suits you.

But learn to look at your body, at whatever age, size or shape, as a beautiful thing on which you should enhance its every asset.   Finding your "style" or choice of dressing and your colours will instil in you a feeling of specialness.  For whatever may have been said about you in the past, you must always remember, that you are unique.  And that you should never be compared with any other person.   That means that we must never compare ourselves to each other either, for each of us brings a different perspective to the essence of womanhood.

Boxing Day

A leading psychologist on television the other day was saying that Christmas time seems to be a time when family stresses and disagreements come to the surface.   Many people no longer get together on Christmas Day for that reason.  In fact many families totally ignore one or more members of their family for that same reason.  Which is a shame, because surely we could find it possible to be considerate and respectful to each other (even if we don't see eye to eye on many things) just for one day of the year?  

However, I love Boxing Day because it's almost as though there is no pressure to be anything but relaxed.   My "adopted" family joined me and my friend for lunch on Boxing Day this year.  What a totally enjoyable couple of hours spent in the freedom of being who we are and able to be ourselves.  Not to mention lots of laughter and fun conversations accompanied by a lovely meal.

Happiness can come in large or small doses.   I count that occasion as a dose of happiness that I shall remember for a long time.

There are friends, and then there are "friends".   Boxing Day 2012 I have been blessed with a special affection from a couple who I deem to be "family", and I am so grateful for their love.

What's your Opinion?

I heard on the television morning news a few days ago, that there's a suggestion from Professor David Penington for teachers to add the weight of a child to their report cards in an effort to combat obesity.  Parents, psychologists, and a whole spate of other interested parties are jumping up and down in anger at possible consequences.

Read the link hereunder and see what you think.   Is "naming and shaming" a child going to successfully combat obesity?   Will it even, in the worse scenerio, pit parent against child, each blaming the other because of the child's size?  Will it set in place a dislike even hatred against teachers and education per se?   Will it put teachers at a disadvantage whereby as many have already said "we're there to teach the children, not to put them down because of their weight"?  Will it set in place more opportunities for bullying?  There are countless ramifications when you think about it.

In fact, let us know here at RoseMary's NoteBook© what you think, because this whole subject of categorising children into "fat" or "thin" is bound to reflect on any child's self-esteem and feelings of worth.   Believe me, I'm one of those people who as a child was subjected to this kind of pressure and I know the personal effect on me.  I'm fortunate in that I've been able to work my way through those feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness based on what I was told regarding my size.  Many people can't handle the humiliation and never get over it.   And speaking with hundreds of women over the years, I can speak knowingly of tragic circumstances resulting from inappropriate behaviours, attitudes, comments and actions by those who supposedly were out there to "help the child lose weight" which then became "we'll help you lose weight" (as an adult),  but who did nothing more than erode that person's perception of self.

As many parents have said, bring back sports and physical education into the curriculum;  encourage children of all sizes to be treated with respect and tolerance by each other and to each other; and encourage kids to get outside and play games - preferably with the parents participation.   We all know that parents have time constraints, but having and bringing up kids is an all-round responsibility - we've been there and done that and at times it was difficult, but the effort was worthwhile.  What we've got to do is the right thing by our kids (and grandkids) while at the same time expecting "society" (the media, the health industry, educators etc) to do likewise.

I look forward to your feed-back.

http://theconversation.edu.au/adding-kids-weight-to-report-cards-will-do-more-harm-than-good-for-preventing-obesity-11211

HAS "CASUAL" TAKEN OVER OUR LIVES?

I like to think I’m “modern” in my thinking and approach to life in today’s society.   As far as “fashion” or clothing is concerned, I convince myself that I have a fully rounded and balanced viewpoint.  Personally I enjoy being and dressing casually as the mood takes me; there are times though when I like to dress a little “smarter” than casual.  Even if my clothes are not expensive or seen to fall inside the perception of being 21st century, I do still “feel” good when I dress up.  To keep within my strict budget also gives me a challenge which I enjoy meeting time after time.

With a major move from a large home to much smaller accommodation, my circumstances have changed over the past week or so.  Being a woman growing older (and I suppose a man faces similar options) this means learning to adapt and to put into place new ways of handling those changes.  The important part of dealing with changes of any kind that face us, is in maintaining and retaining dignity and control (as much as possible) within constraints both self-imposed and imposed by others.

Walking down the street or through some of the major shopping malls, it is quite obvious to an observer than there are now two categories of women’s code of dress.  Three if you count the window displays of our clothing stores - yet no matter how hard I look I never see anyone dressed in those clothes from the store windows.  Do women buy them and then hide them in their wardrobes, only to be bought out to be admired by themselves and friends, or do they actually wear them?  When and where do they wear them?

So to get back to the two codes of dress, as far as I see them today.   First there is the casual casual, which unfortunately could be described as frumpy and so uninteresting as to make the person almost seem invisible.  Then there’s the person who seems to have a wardrobe of jeans and tee shirts and she never veers away from that code.  I wonder how women in this category deal with the thought of being invited to a mayoral ball or a Melbourne Cup Lunch!   They probably panic.

And women of substance, or women of a certain age, what do they do?  Let me say here that I can’t understand those descriptions, although I admit I use them.  The English language had an incredible resource of descriptive power, but when it comes to women of size and growing older, for some reason it’s much easier for society to say “obese or fat” or “she’s old so why does she bother?”  Why have we taken on these definitions?  Because we’ve been forced to in many instances.  But times they are a’changing, girls.

We “bother” because there’s an inbuilt pride in our nature and we don’t want to be categorised as being the same as everybody else.  We’re women, we’re feminine and we care - we honestly care - about how we dress, how we look and how we feel about ourselves.  We’ve gone through all the stages of being unsure of ourselves, feeling guilty about our size; frustrated at having to explain to all and sundry that we’re just different to the size 6 girl on the catwalk (besides, we’ve got a lot more knowledge and experience to back up our feelings of confidence). and we want to be allowed to be ourselves and to express ourselves the way we know best.

We do know best, you know.  That comes of always learning, always searching for ways of building upon our self esteem, through education and personal knowledge.  Most women “of a certain age” can’t be persuaded that they’ve got to change; that they’ve got to get “with it”, that they have to admit to being old-fashioned in their ideas.  Younger women have every right to express their views on how they dress and how they live their lives, yet the older woman has to justify her opinions about self and life-style.  Why?

My question in the title of this post is “Has “casual” taken over our lives?‘   And I’m beginning to think that it’s about time that the growing older woman in today’s society should stand up and be counted.  She has every right to be recognised and accepted and in fact applauded when she steps outside of the jeans and tee shirts syndrome and embraces her own femininity the way she wants.  Yet if that includes wearing jeans and tee shirts, then so be it.  But, and this is a big but, if she wishes to dress livelier, bolder, sassier and jazzier than jeans and tee shirts, let her.  Compliment her, see her for being proud of who and what she is.  Younger women will see that growing older holds exciting challenges in store for them, in that they will (hopefully) be more fair minded and open to the fact that women are able to enjoy their lives by making conscious decisions based on their own personal preferences through all stages of their maturity.  We don’t have to follow trends that we are told we should follow at EVERY stage of our adult lives; we know best.

As I have quoted so often over the years, 

“you are your own best asset - promote yourself,

 and NEVER, EVER compare yourself to someone else.  

You are unique.”

Aussie Self Acceptance©

we can achieve what we want, 

gently, 

by relying on our 

womanly wiles, wit and wisdom!

The big women of Oz (and the world) believe it's time all BIG women should combine their collective needs and wish-lists with which to present to people in all areas of society, including designers, manufacturers and retailers and especially the media.

These needs and wish-lists must also include submissions to professional people  - medical, health and fitness, hospitality, and education.  Not to mention transport.

It's not only wanting to be able to buy a garment that fits, But it's also the small things in life such as:

*  expecting and being given a decent generous sized gown when attending hospital or having to have an x-ray or mammogram

*  being able to sit comfortably in a long-haul bus or plane and to have the pleasure of being able to lower the food tray so that it sits nicely on our lap (it's up to the engineers to figure that one out!)

*  being able to visit a beauty therapist knowing that the bench will be wide and stron enough to hold the client

*  being able to attend a gym for work-outs knowing that there will be no sniggering or giggling by other participants - because the programme will have been styled and planned with the larger person in mind

*  being able to go swimming without any rude remakrs by ignorant people around

*  being able to relax and enjoy a meal and the surroundings at a favourite restaurant without innuendoes (said and unsaid) from other guests and staff about the choice of food or the amount of food eaten (who's to know that you haven't "fasted" for two days knowing tht you were going out for a special occasion and wanted to enjoy everything about that outing?)

*  being able to find chairs in cafes and restaurants that are decently designed and more especially strong enough to hold ANYbody let alone a person with more generous ampleness.

It's no longer acceptable that the plus-size be blamed for their size as to why they're never comfortable in these places - just look at some of the types of chairs available in local coffee shops as well as up-market restaurants and you'll see what I mean.  Including the ubiquitous plastic chairs.   They are made cheaply and they can be downright dangerous to sit on, for anyone heavier than a three year old!

Maybe there's a long way to go - so?

There's a long way to go and we're in for the long haul.  We realise that.  But we're still enthused and filled with anticipation.   For we only need to look at may of the websites and blogs of younger women who have been faced with the same ostracism and discrimination that we've been privy to over decades but who have had the courage to say - Whoa!  No more.

Do we actually realise we have more opportunities to be heard today than a any time in the past and we have the opportunity of having our stories and our opinions shared and read and debated upon.

But we need to get our act together.  What success will we have in breaking down the last BIG discrimination if we don't strive together?  What's the use of me standing up and telling everyone that I'm tired of being at the receiving end of rudeness and hypocrisy when I can't be heard above the clamour of the crowd?  It's only when like-minded women pool their frustrations and grievances, make lists of suggestions,  give their points of view and express their feelings, that anything will happen or will change.  We're standing centre-stage while the rest of the world looks on.  Let's get it right, first off.

The time is right, the mood is set, and it's up to us to pursue this endeavour with strength, determination, resilience and a sense of humour.

As the waterfall said to the rocks:

"Don't worry, I'll wear you down in time"

Wouldn't it be nice if we were all at that place where we can gleefully thumb our nose at fashion experts who tell us what we should and shouldn't wear (even if it was available out there in the marketplace), and add a sparkle of humour to inspire others to laugh, love and live life to its fullest - AND widest!  

And don't forget:

"It's in the travelling not in the arriving 

that acceptance is gained 

(even SELF acceptance!)"

© 2012 R Parry-Brock

Pampering ourselves

It's during winter time that I come back to the idea that we should pamper ourselves more often.  Not that any other season doesn't demand we do likewise, but for some reason the cold, wet, wintry days bring with them the feeling that everything is dreary and damp and all we can do is have a hot cup of soup to keep warm and stay indoors for the day.

The past few weeks have certainly not been conducive to looking around the shops or shopping centres for clothes.  If I'm honest I do have enough to suit my lifestyle.  While I love bringing new fashion trends and ideas from local and overseas suppliers, I think it's also most important that we give ourselves our little treats now and then.

I ventured out this morning just to do the normal chores, and stopped and looked at the window display at a small florist in our local shopping centre.  All the presentations were flambouyant in colour, sizes and all with different types of petals and leaves.  Having chosen a couple of cards from the card display I walked to the counter at the back of the shop and was assailed by the most fragrant perfume imaginable.  And with that perfume came countless happy memories from the past.

Was the perfume from a big, bold, flower stem?  No, it was the tiniest little bunch of winter violets, sitting in a small glass vase on the counter.  There was no hesitation - I opened my wallet and bought them - just for myself.  Just to tell myself I am special!

The more I observe, the more I become convinced that plus-sizers particularly lose the inclination to "spoil" themselves occasionally.  Is this because we've been told or had it inferred that we're not worth it?  Because this is one of the unkindest lies told to us  -  we all need to know we're loved, and there's something special about a little bunch of violets that remind me that I am important and special to myself, and even more incredibly to others.

Isn't that worth celebrating?  

In what way do you occasionally "treat" yourself to something out of the ordinary?

Fancy Pants!

This year seems to be the year for "anything".   Dresses, jeans in all different styles and colours, harem pants; knitwear plain, fancy and the Nordic look, and tops in all the colours of the rainbow.

In amongst all this I found yet another website Jibri with some "fancy pants".    So here's an example of their colourful dresses and a jumpsuit.

Stunning clothing!

I know I usually promote overseas suppliers more often than not, but when I have something to say about "local" suppliers, then I have great delight in shouting from the rooftops.

Kita Ku is situation in Box Hill, Victoria, and their range of clothing is very exciting.   Bold colours, bold designs and styles. Mixing and matching is part of the game, and it is so easy to build up a colourful wardrobe with only a few pieces.

I can recommend Kita Ku - I have a number of their garments, and each time I wear them, I always get compliments!  Just goes to show, even "big girls" can look stunning.

Feast your eyes on these.

Plus size garments that are SO different!

So often we find websites (sometimes our favourites and sometimes we come across new websites) that highlight plus-size clothing, but their models are anything but .......

I'd like you to visit Love Your Peaches   Janelle even models her own creations - how more professional can you get than that?

This Zig Zag Tunic has really taken my eye, and if you want something really "different" why not visit Love Your Peaches and take a look at their range.   Janelle is a long-time friend of RoseMary's NoteBook© and we're sure she will make you feel a million dollars.