Thursday, May 12, 2011


finding acceptance within ourselves
- it’s easier than you think

It’s not uncommon for us to sometimes wonder why we feel “alone” in our fluctuating feelings of “acceptance” and “non-acceptance”. It’s a part of life and no one is immune from it.  

It’s also not uncommon for women, plus-size women, to feel as though we’ll never amount to very much, unless we lose weight or even undergo cosmetic surgery to "look good".  There’s an unsaid statement, by society including the media and the fashion industry, that  we HAVE to toe their line otherwise we’ll always be on the sidelines, overlooked and walked upon.   Of course even if we do lose weight to meet their demands, quite often we find we’re still standing on the outskirts of “accedptability” because we have at one time been “fat”, or maybe after losing weight, we’ve managed to put on a bit again!   We can never satisfy these people, and for many, me included, we have no inclination to continue trying to do the impossible.

It’s always worth while taking the time to think about and look at other women who have overcome obstacles and come out winners.   Maybe the circumstances are different under under which these women have fought to become recognised as business women;  or intelligent women within society - medicine, writing, art, the theatre, television, tradeswomen, holding senior positions within corporations or defense forces, police/fire/and ambulance heads of departments if not the “top” person; in politics, science, education, and countless other professions, but they all have one thing in common.  They are women; equipped with all manner of intelligence, experience, expertise and know-how. They’ve seen their own potential, they’ve set their own goals, and they’’ve gone ahead to achieve those goals.

Then there are those women who describe themselves as being “JUST” a housewife, or mother, or daughter, who because of today’s society not recognising or appreciating women in whatever role they play or choose, not necessarily head-line or newsworthy names,  are seen as not being successes.   Let me tell you, they are as much a success as any woman who climbs the corporate ladder and leads a reputable company to million dollar profits, or dare I say it, becomes Prime Minister!

So it is with the plus-size woman.  Many are not hindered in their setting of goals;  just as many are the recipients of rude and down-putting attitudes and behaviour of others in the community, sometimes even friends and yes, family.

We have the power to stand up for ourselves (without becoming militant);  we have the skills to prove our worth in whatever endeavour we set out to do;  we can climb mountains, we can swim the English Channel if we want to.   We can be worthy and valuable human beings.   We can inspire and mentor others;  we can aspire to new heights for our own personal development.  Nothing is impossible.  Again let me say, nothing is impossible - if you want it with a passion.   
And that’s what is missing out in a lot of people’s lives.  Passion.  And I’m not only talking about passion such as love and sex.  I’m talking about wanting something so much that you will stretch yourself and your mind to achieve it.   You’ll go the extra mile, for yourself.

And the result (even if you’re not the winner of the race, or the one who receives the Woman of the Year Award) will be a feeling of “yes, I’ve done my best and I feel good about that”.

So finding acceptance WITHIN ourselves is surely enough motivation for us to strive, ever forward, in whatever we do, wherever we are at any point in time.

What it comes down to is being content with who andwhat we are.  And being kind to ourselves.  Don’t pile guilt upon guilt onto our own shoulders, just because other people tell us we’re not perfect.  Are they?   Seriously, are they?

We can’t be categorised as being one thing or another, because we’re unique.   Let me say that again - we are uniquely formed and we are uniquely different to each other.  If we pursue the unrealistic dream of becoming a clone of someone else, then we’ve lost the plot.  They can’t become us, and we shouldn’t waste time in trying to become them.  You are you, and I am me.  Surely that’s enough to be proud of.

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