So it saddens me somewhat when I hear women say to me, "I don't know how to be happy." Are they really speaking about happiness which is, after all, very difficult to describe and may only be fleeting, or do they mean a feeling of complete confidence in themselves and their lives (whatever circumstances they may find themselves in) which is often translated as "joy"? I ask because I speak from personal experience in that I have known times and moments of happiness, which is not a state of permanence, whereas inner joy is.
Now, both you and I know there many things that occur in our lives that can burden us; that can inhibit us; that can hold us back; and that can limit our feelings of adequacy and worth. Those of us who have managed to work through some (or even all) of those feelings know what it's like. And the best advice we can give to those who are still endeavouring to "discover" themselves?
1. To live in the NOW, and
2. LOVE yourself (in order that you may be able to love others, unconditionally), and
3. LAUGH as often as you can, and as often as you like. (Isn't there an old saying, that "laughter is the best medicine"?)
4. Surround yourself with beautiful things (and beautiful people - and we're ALL beautiful, you know) as well as lovely music.
Give yourself constant healthy and happy self-talk. Read "positive" publications that reinforce your feelings of self-worth. As often as possible. Discard thoughts of not being good enough; "you're not worth it"; "you'll never succeed"; "you're a waste of space" and similar comments made to us by ourselves and people who should be encouragers but who gain some delight in putting us down all the time. Seriously think about those people and whether you shouldn't perhaps have less to do with them - even if they are family members - because no matter how much you adapt to meet their expectations and demands, you'll never meet their unrealistic ideals. And why should you bother? Much better to set your own personal goals, and as you reach each of those goals, to set your sights higher and wider - for your own personal achievement and satisfaction, not for theirs.
Don't have regrets - all of us have disappointments, but there's no need to dwell on them. They are a part of life, and life is to be lived to the fullest. Life, love and laughter is what it's all about. Here and now!
“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come.
We have only today. Let us begin.”