Monday, June 1, 2015

THIS WORKING LIFE - putting yourself first!

Whatever your age, if you are contemplating returning to work or starting up your own business, then you must face the thought of putting yourself first!  Quite often this brings unrealistic burdens.

A leading Australian careers adviser recently said, "because it's necessary for women to return to the workforce today, there comes a time when the family must sacrifice, but you have to remember that there is a long future at stake for the woman, and it is one that will not always include her children".

Children grow up and move away to follow their own dreams and aspirations.

As a result of financial circumstances or a breakdown in a relationship, you may find you HAVE to work, by either getting a job or creating a job in order to keep the wolf from the door.  Sometimes this happens at a time when you may have planned to be "taking things easy" after having fulfilled 30-40 years in the workplace, whether as an employee or as a homemaker/mother.  Now suddenly it's up to you to start all over again.

If you're in a relationship it certainly is NOT selfish or unrealistic of you to expect that the family, even if it is your partner, to work in with you, to take an interest in what you are doing, and to meet you half-way in everyday chores around the home and garden.  That sounds a little too easy for in far too many cases it is an impossible ask.

If this is the case and you find yourself in this predicament, then it comes back to you.  You have to decide on what is right for you.  If your partner or other family members are indifferent to your needs and requests, and they complain, bicker and make life unbearable for you, then YOU need to take stock of your personal needs and make some long-lasting decisions.  It won't be easy, but you already know that.  Stick with your goals and pursue them.  Don't let your aspirations and dreams take a back seat - you deserve better.

If you are a young woman, you may find being "easy in mind" when working or carrying on your own businsss means getting good homehelp which costs money.  Dining out will become a more common event.  Buying preprepared meals wilL ensure there's always something in the frig and freezer whereby you'll not be expected to come home from work and then spend hours preparing and cooking the family meal.   Or maybe you'll have to depend on your mother, grandmother or other family members to step in and assist.  In today's society however, you will often find your own mother has had her own mid-life crisis as well.  This means instead of taking things easy she now has to seek work too.  Once again a Catch 22, with no relief in sight!

If you are determined to start up your own business, and there's no reason why you shouldn't, even if you are 50, 60, 70, then you might get feelings of vulnerability and uncertainty as to how you should look, how you should dress and how you should promote yourself.  You might be faced with any number of "negative" feelings but you're already further advanced in your thinking, so go forward with confidence.

If there's one thing an older woman has, it's courage.  So when you're faced with how you should promote yourself, you only need to look at yourself as you are, your abilities, talents, skills and capabilities.  You should dress according to your particular preference.  You don't have to conform with what other people say, because your're an individual and individuals don't copy each other.  In today's world there is no such thing as being out of fashion because you have the right to make fashion work for you, not against you.  As far as age and size and looks are concerned, these are only as relevant to your business enterprise as you allow them to be.

The best way to dress is the way you feel happiest.  We should all feel free to be in fashion or out of it, to dress to conform or to show lack of conformity;  to attract attention or play safe;  to be exciting or sensible.  We should also feel free to switch from one to another.  The only requirement is that neatness and tidiness should always be paramount.

How older women see themselves

Women don't necssarily always want to LOOK young.  They just want to look as attractive as they can for their age. Growing older is recognising and coming to terms and even accepting certain limitations on one's power to attract.  It is a passage in time.  For some women "growing older" begins at thirty, for others 40, 50, 60, and even 90.  Clearly it is in the mind more than anywhere else.

Always remember as Barbara Taylor Bradford is quoted as saying:  "Life is not a rehearsal, it's the real thing".
Copyright © 1991-2015 R Parry-Brock, Victoria, Australia

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