Growing older, and then some ......

Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

This was part of one of those "fun" emails that friends send you to keep you amused.   Mind you, sometimes they annoy you to the extreme.   But our friend Judy is one lady who knows what is going to make us laugh and for that matter what will make us cry, and instead of sending her emails to the junk box, they usually end up on our desk,


So I had to smile when I read those words within this morning's email.    Because in all the wishing and hoping and dreaming that we did during our younger years, did we really ever think about the wrinkles?    Sure, we saw them on other people and then dismissed them from our thinking (the wrinkles not necessarily the other people).  


We lathered Ponds Cold Cream onto our faces and believed the advertisements that told us that if we used their products we would always have the skin that men loved to touch.   Mind you, the cold cream was nice to our skin and we proudly joined the thousands of women who pronounced that it was the product that made them look beautiful, rather than having the beauty already.


But hey, I like my wrinkles.  They're a special and precious part of me.  They tell lots of stories, and they show the world that I'm a wise old lady!  Well, I've assumed that wisdom comes with the wrinkles and I defy anyone to argue to me.

Aging Outrageously! Is there an option?

Just go into a store that sells affordable clothing for the older woman, and that includes the variety and department/chain stores, and you’ll be faced with rows of look-alike garments that may be your size, but which if you had a choice you’d probably walk past.

Basic colours, styles your Grandma probably would have refused to wear; even fabrics that don’t like you or your skin or your time of life. But do you have a choice?

If you are a “size” that is included in the shops that sell “younger” wear, then don’t kid yourself you would only look like mutton done up as lamb! This is just not true. We’re not suggesting that you go from wearing ankle length skirts or slacks/pants to wearing mini skirts. But let’s look at things sensibly.

Clothing for the younger market is more available; usually it’s quite cheaper too! Yes, maybe it’s made for a “disposable” society, but hey, let’s face it, do you really want to be wearing the same garment for 30 years? You’ve proved throughout your life that you can adapt to change - circumstances, relationships you name it. So why do you think you can’t change your clothing habits?

Choice is out there. It’s just that we’ve become so self conscious of our age and even our size and shape, which no one can suggest hasn’t changed over the years as well, that we’re afraid to be adventurous any more. And this is silly. We’re independent women, right? We know what is best for us, right? We know or have a fair idea of how good we could look if we found the right clothes, right? We’ve also been treated with a little disdain by saleswomen, right? We’ve been told the store has nothing in our size, right? And we’ve become too scared to keep trying, right?

We can’t disguise all our body faults, that’s for sure. And we shouldn’t try to hide our bodies completely either. Why should we be made feel embarrassed about our body and the way it looks?

For a plus-size woman who is aging, she has two battles on her hands. One is she is treated as “ga-ga” because she is “old”, and the other inference is that she has let herself go to the extent of being obese. And that means she has a cheek expecting to be able to buy clothes that make her feel and look good, from her point of view.

It’s wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!

Experiment. Go into trendy boutiques and stores that sell for the younger market. Get an idea of what is available, and whether you could open your mind to wearing a certain garment. Add to that garment in your mind first, and then look for something to go with the first item. Accessorise. Look around for nice shoes, belts (if you have a waist), and jewellery. If you want to be a twinset and pearl lady, then be one. If you’d like to show a bit of cleavage (at 60-70 or more) then do so. If you want to wear red, be brave and do it.

It’s your life, after all, and you need only answer to yourself when it comes to how you dress. That is, of course, assuming that you see yourself for who and what you are, not someone to make fun of yourself so that others do likewise, but someone with a smart mind ready to follow through on what is best for you.

Shake and Soup Diet Plans

Here we go again. Warnings about dangerous diet programmes. Are we listening? Because unless we do, and unless we get off the merry-go-round (and it certainly isn't merry) of dieting to lose weight, then we'll be getting similar warnings in decades to come.

During this past week, the findings of Consumer Group - "Choice", has damned popular pharmacy shake and soup diet plans. They claim that these diet plans can be potential health risks and are plagued with poor advice.

"Choice" says that dieters in their desperation to lose weight are paying hundreds of dollars, and being advised by consultants who have "grossly inadequate" training about weight loss.

Health experts raised concerns about the calorific, carbohydrate and fibre levels of some plans, and warned some people risked wasting muscle instead of fat.

A well known pharmacy with stores in all States even sold their diet programmes to children. Choice said it was a disgrace. The pharmacy spokesperson justified their selling to children by saying their programme gave extensive psychological support to children. Was he being fair dinkum?

It doesn't say much for the integrity of these pharmacies or their staff, that the advice and support consumers are receiving about quick-fix diet programmes is manifestly inadequate.

My observation is this. (And I suspect many thousands of people have the same opinion). Diets don't work. Diets aren't a natural way of fueling the body. Diets make people ill. Diets cause people to have all sorts of side-issues to contend with (i.e. "I diet and I still don't lose weight, I'm a no-hoper!").

And if diets do work, then why aren't we all slim and trim? Tell me that. Because if it were true, then there'd be no diet programmes and there'd be no companies making lots of money out of people who desire to get thin. In fact there'd be no "diet industry". Think about it. Seriously.

The Cost of Being Plus-Size - 3

In my previous blogs, I've been talking about the foolish claims made by people who "create" diets so that those of us who fall into the trap of believing their claims, will follow. And even though people everywhere will follow those diets religiously and stringently over time, their expectations are never quite realised. Why? Because yes, they may lose a little weight but as soon as they revert to eating what the body by that time is craving, then they will pile on the weight again. And always it is more weight than they first started off with. That sets in motion a roller-coaster ride, because most plus-sizers will try and try and try again; sometimes the same "diet", most times any other diet that makes outlandish claims and seems to have the answers to everyone's dreams. As one of these people over decades, I can speak with authority and experience - diets don't work.

So let's get on with what other way the media, and even our family and friends can offer "help". It's very insidious and it's very damaging and it's very discriminatory and it's very abusive.

I'm talking about being told that the only way to fix the problem is to have weight loss surgery. In fact here in Australia there's a move by the government to insist that "morbidly obese" people have one form or another of WLS and that these operations will be subsidised. What has the reaction been by those people who are not overweight or obese? Utter condemnation that people of size deserve any subsidisation! The anger continues.  For those who'll do anything (many without even considering any of the risks involved) this is another incidence that what the government tells us to do, we'll do!

But WLS is NOT the answer for everyone at all. It's all very well for the media (and I blame the women's magazines as much as I do the advertisers of companies who are out to make millions from this form of torture. And I do call it torture, because I've seen a number of women who have had the operation and who have been scarred both physically and emotionally to such an extent that they are only reflections of their former self. Their "confidence" is equated with how they look when they are dressed; NOT when they are eating a meal, or when they are living their lives. In fact these women have been so traumatised by the surgery that they verbalise the words "I wish I hadn't done it".

Now, I know I'll get many people saying all this is just imagination. That they're had WLS and their lives have changed dramatically for the good, and they will tell everyone to have the surgery carried out. Well, I say to these people, congratulations. I'm glad it's worked for you. And I'd like you to tell me in 5 years, 10 years time that you still feel the same way.

But there is another high cost. These operations cost a lot, financially, and people go into great debt for them. So that's one aspect. The other aspect is that if the surgery does not work, and it doesn't always, how does the person feel? Shattered.

Many overweight people (who are now told they're "obese" or morbidly obese) have other health problems as well as being overweight. Those problems may even be hidden until the surgery and then come out fighting. Even if those health problems have been diagnosed and are being treated, they can get worse.

Most people who have WLS have to undergo ongoing surgery for the removal of loose skin. Now that doesn't sound so bad does it? But if you were shown photos of some of the loose skin that has to be removed after WLS surgery, during your consultations with the WLS surgeons BEFORE surgery, and have that aspect of the operation explained to you, then perhaps you'd try and go another route to becoming the slimmer person you want to be.

You've got to talk about these things with your doctor. You've got to have confidence in your doctor to be able to be assured that he is telling you everything you need to know. You need to ask questions and more questions, and to even write down the answers. Over and over again.

You see it's your body, and your emotional being, that is being treated in a WLS situation. You have to have as many facts as possible (even the negative ones) in order to make a valuable decision.

And don't believe all the hype you see on television and read in magazines that are "advertisements" and not necessarily recommendations from real people. There's a lot of make believe out there, and we get caught up in that make believe without even knowing.

So it absolutely astounded me when I heard on radio this morning that many hospitals here in Australia have been overwhelmed with the numbers of babies being registered for weight control advice. These babies haven't necessarily been "big" or heavy babies at birth , but within 12 months they're seen to be "obese". Tell me what is going on here.

Are these babies being breastfed? If so, why are they becoming overweight? If they are not being breastfed, I ask the same question. Because you can't tell me that a baby between birth and 12 months is eating nasty "fast-foods" filled with saturated fats and over zealous amounts of sugar and salt, that are making them fat, all day and every day.

It's becoming more and more obvious to adults and now children who are labelled as being plus-size, that it is NOT the food they are eating, nor the quantity of food they are eating. Too many only eat normal and small sized meals with no snacks in between and no high-fat foods within their normal eating patterns. But I've been saying this for decades now. And I'll repeat it again and again until someone takes notice.

It is NOT so much the food we are eating,
but it is what is IN the food we are eating.

All natural ingredients are being processed, with additives and chemicals, that no-one has any idea what will be the result of ingestion over periods of time. Just take a quick look at the labels on food. I bet, like me, you can't understand what you're reading. So when are the authorities going to get manufacturers and suppliers to really tell the truth? And why are many foods grown or manufactured in one country, imported to ours, and then packed here, and labelled "made from imported and local ingredients". What does this tell us? Absolutely nothing.

Let the experts (dietitians/nutritionists/scientists) do some research. Let them do some serious analysing of the food that we all eat every day, and this includes the staple foods; bread, eggs, flour, meat, vegetables, fruit, lentils, rice. Then let's do some serious talking about what is going on with food in our bodies. This is a conspiracy.

 © 2010                                     (© Painting - Henri Toulouse Lautrec - Woman ..... 1889)

Priorities!

Rian met us at the coffee shop this morning.   She'd just done her shopping at the local supermarket, and had a trolley full of purchases.   However, in the "baby" carrier of the trolley, sat one huge bunch of luscious pale pink roses.

How did you manage to "afford" roses?, Ginny asked.   "Well, it's like this, I decided to set some priorities today." replied Rian, Gareth (her husband) has been ignoring her lately, and when he left for work this morning he demanded she get two large frozen pizzas for his tea.   Rian decided one pizza would do when she saw the roses.   So Gareth will have one large frozen pizza for his tea - heated up in the oven and then cleverly cut so that he won't know the difference between the quantity of one and two pizzas.   Rian will have a quick little salad of her favourite fruit and vegetables, and she'll also have her bunch of roses to please her senses for a few days.


You know, sometimes we need to spoil ourselves or indulge in nice things that please us - too often we go without.   So if you see something that you would really love to have, and can afford it (even if it means one less pizza for tea!), then why not go ahead?

Want to get in Shape?

Find yourself a new lover 
says an Italian research team.

The "heady" feeling (all to due to chemicals in our brain and our body) of romance has been found to have the same effects as chocolate and other sugary treats on the body!

I guess it all depends on what you really need. As you satisfied with the lover you have? Then all you need to do is to enjoy chocolate.

If you're not satisfied with your lover, then finding a new one (and keeping him!) might do the trick.

Don't get "needs" mixed up with "wants" though!

Eating out!

A group of us decided to go out for lunch on Saturday.   The weather looked as though it was going to be kind to us, so off we trekked to Westfield Shopping Town at Doncaster.

While most of us had never even heard of TGI Friday - it seems that it's a well-known eating place for those in the "know".   And we've been converted!

The young staff are attentive, and eager to please.   Nothing seems to be too much trouble or inconvenience to them and most of the other diners around us were saying much the same thing.

So here are a few of the items chosen at our table.   A vegetarian burger;  baked salmon on a caesar salad;  something "Mexican" (we still can't even work out how to say the word!), and a few others for you to consider.

 And to finish off the meal, what better than one of their mini sweets - delicious little mousse like sweets that melted in the mouth.  

 The meals are thoroughly recommended.   (A bit pricey, but for a special treat, very acceptable!).

The size of font on this blog

A number of ladies have recently written to say that they're having difficulty in reading this blog because of the size of the font.

I'm wondering how many others are finding this, because going from the default sizes offered by Blogger, we've been using the "normal" size font.  

Let's know if you're having difficulty too!

Getting ready for the December newsletter

I've been getting together all the articles and bits of trivia for the December issue of RoseMary's NoteBook (if you'd like to have your name added to the mailing list, then please visit the website and write to us here at the office).


During the past week, we sent out a Fashion Supplement highlighting one of our favourite plus-size clothing suppliers in the US, with a special offer to readers of RoseMary's NoteBook©.   We're now getting some initial feedback from other suppliers here in Australia - things look good for upcoming offers and specials for readers.   It's been a long time coming, but I believe the value of promoting clothing (among other things) through the newsletter will soon prove it's worth to those who are interested in supporting us through this way.


When I say other things I mean anything that celebrates and enhances a woman's looks (no diets, no cosmetic surgery or WLS ads or anything like that though); such as makeup; hair care and hints; skin care; nail beauty; footwear (shoes, sandals and boots);  jewellery (this can cover a wide range of accessories);  handbags;  scarves;  and very importantly self-esteem initiatives.  And these self-esteem initiatives need not necessarily come via "professional" people;  they can just as easily be stories or articles from ordinary every-day women who have found answers to many of their own concerns and problems by way of experience and trial and error.

If you have a shop, boutique, or even a small mall kiosk, selling any of these items, then why not avail yourself of promoting your goods through the NoteBook each month?


Experience gained is one thing, but experience shared is quite another.   And we can all benefit from personal stories of women who have travelled many different roads to get to the gaining of self-appreciation and all that's entailed in that.

The Cost of Being Plus-Size 2

There's no doubt that being healthy and curvy brings with it a great deal of discrimination. Whether you happen to suffer from discrimination personally is another matter. Many plus-size women are full of confidence, and very aware of themselves. Others simply don't want to think about it, it's hard enough trying to get through each day with all the other problems of life, without dwelling on the fact that people go out of their way to make the plus-size feel inadequate and not being in control.

Then there's the third or middle category. Into which many of us fall, at some stage of another. That of being VERY aware of the hostility and abuse centred on our size, and knowing that there is very little we can do about it.

The pressure put upon the plus-size to "diet" and so lose weight; and to exercise not only regularly but intensely, is too much for many people to bear. Insinuations and innuendoes about their weight, and how they live their lives, can cause many people to lose all sense of self and worth.

The inference in newspapers (articles almost every day on the subject of "obesity"); and all other media forums; together with the fashion industry; the entertainment and hospitality as well as the health and fitness industries, that "fat" people aren't worth worrying about, especially if they don't do as they are told to by these organisations, is abusive at the very least.

For people who have always been larger than their peers (and I'm not talking about obese people here, I'm talking about people who are merely bigger, slightly heavier even, taller and wider but healthy), they often find as they age, that they are hindered by various chronic conditions that immobilise their bodies to a greater extent than when they were younger. Things like arthritis. Now when a slender person has arthritis, they usually get sympathy or understanding from people around them. But ........ When a person who has always been on the larger side finds arthritis becomes a real problem, then they are told well, you're overweight, what do you expect?

What they should expect is the same understanding and sympathy as the smaller person. They've got enough to worry about without being subjected to all sorts of ridicule and indifference.

And what about women's magazines? I would be most surprised if you could show me a women's magazine on any newsagents shelf that focuses on the positive side of being plus-size. My argument is this, and has been for decades now. If women's magazines are for ALL women, then ALL women should be included within that magazine as a matter of course. Advertisement and fashion supplements; makeup and beauty therapy pages; positive self-esteem initiatives are all aimed at the younger, slimmer woman. Why are the older women ignored, and why are the plus-size ignored to such an extent that perhaps a special two page supplement every year will have an emphasis on "how to dress for the large body". Why should we be invisible until such time as the editors of these publications decide to do something nice for the fat people. How hypocritical. How arrogant.

And when we write to these magazines, voicing our opinions and feelings about being treated in this way, we're more or less pushed to one side and told to "get a life". We'd love to be able to get on with our lives and enjoy our lives, if only these magazines were a positive voice rather than a negative one that reinforces the bad publicity that makes the rounds every day about weight and being unhealthy.

Being unhealthy is not the point. Too many plus size people are healthy. They eat sensibly and wisely; they carry out exercise regimes; they look after their body. But they're looked upon as being out of control. Nonsense. Here in Australia I doubt whether there is ANY health and fitness course that allows all members of a particular class to be plus-size. Because if they did, more women would attend, and less women would feel intimidated.

The irony of being plus-size is also that society (with a little push and shove by the fashion industry as well as advertisers and the media industry per se) now has the audacity of labelling garments at rapidly decreasing size numbers. What used to be a size 14-16 is now a 10-12 and so on.

What used to be the "typical" or average range of sizes of Australian woman, i.e. 14, 16, 18, 20, is now seen to be: 0, 2, 4, 6, 8. So this means that a plus-size woman will venture into a clothing boutique and look for her sizes only to find none, because that boutique only caters for the current Australian range of sizes. Which is bad enough, but when one considers that the female form or figure has changed dramatically over the past few decades as well as becoming heavier and taller, then you can begin to see some of the inconsistencies involved in sizings.

Today's woman has larger breasts than her mother. Even young women of size 10 or 12, have larger and deeper breasts than their mothers and/or grandmothers. Their hips are larger too. The strange thing about this is that they most probably are the same weight as their mothers, which causes the whole weight/measurement/size/shape concept of what a woman should look like, to go completely out of sync.

So what does this do to the young woman who is generously curvy? It makes her think that it's all her fault. That she has to diet and lose weight so that she can fit into a garment that has been down-sized. Whether she will remain healthy is another matter altogether, because she'll starve and diet and do everything she's told to, and still she won't realise that it is not her problem, but the attitude of other people within industries that could do a lot to help the plus-size adjust to life. With far less problems and far less stress, and far less ridicule.

Those of us who are a little older know that diets don't work. We know that diets can make us fatter than we ever were. We know that diets can cause us to be ill. We know that diets are a big "con".

So that means that our magazines actually sell lies. That's a harsh statement, but when you think about it, you will have to agree surely.

The cost of being plus-size! Part 1

The bombardment of guilt by the media, as well as the fashion and health industries remains constant and angry. The hostility shown towards women of size has to be recognised as discrimination although the people who could make a difference are indifferent and arrogant and refuse to even accept the fact that they show disdain.

The threats that if you are a few kilo or a hundred kilo heavier than what is seen to be the "ideal" weight are frightening in their intensity. It's not a matter of these people having a real concern for how we feel and look and how healthy we are, it's a matter of them yelling at us (like small naughty children) to do as they say, or else!

We're made to feel inadequate. We're made to feel bad and wrong. We're made to feel stupid and ashamed. Do they enjoy this sort of behaviour towards us? Because it seems to me that if they really cared, then they'd be taking a different stance on the problems that beset us.

Manufacturers and suppliers and retailers don't care. It's quite obvious. Just go into any store, including K Mart and Target, and will you find "nice" clothes? Go on be honest. You'll probably find clothes, many of which you wouldn't bother buying and wearing ... but sometimes you have to buy them, because there isn't anything else available. This is not an exaggeration, because I've been in this situation far too many times that I've lost count. I visit these stores every season, and what do I usually find? OK. Tee shirts, even round neck tee shirts, which don't do a thing for any plus-size woman with a bust. And the colour range doesn't change much year to year. Then you've got pants (or slacks as many women still call them) in black, navy and maybe brown or grey. Shirts - similar styles in a few colours. Sometimes even long skirts or shorts. Oh yes there's a selection to choose from - not!

But I dare you to go into the other departments, the departments that cater for everyone else. What do you find? Racks and racks and racks of different styles, different designs, different colours, and different fabrics.

What is wrong with retailers and their buyers? Can't they see the huge market they're missing out on? But I reckon they do see, and they don't care. Because the turnover of the smaller garments is greater and they want more and more slimmer and smaller people in their stores. Even stores that deal in some of the lower ranges of plus sizes put their racks towards the back of the store. It's almost as though it is a matter of out of sight, out of mind.

I've asked buyers many times about this imbalance. Some of them won't answer the question, while others will try and change the subject. Those who are brave enough to answer will tell you that it is the store's policy not to have plus-sizes in great numbers even though they have women coming to them and asking them for more selections. This is crazy. It's a contradiction. And yet retailers blithely go on their merry way, discounting us as important and a problem.

Recognising beauty for what it is - Part II

Why is it, especially in western society, that older women are seen to be "unlovely" because of their wrinkles, their faded complexions, their thinning hair?  I ask this because it is quite obvious in many cultures that aging is equated with wisdom and that age, in the number of years, to be seen as something to be admired.

Women of age, and of different nationalities are nurtured and loved within the family unit;  it's not unusual to see four generations in the one home all doing their own thing, by being mentored in the womanly arts of cooking, craft work, good manners and etiquette among each other, by the eldest member (s) of the family.

Take for instance our Greek and Italian friends. They live for each other, they go places and do things together; they eat together, they celebrate together.  They help each other.  They cook for each other, they do for each other.  When there is a need it is met by others within the family.  They don't even seem to notice age differences.  It's the people and personalities that seem to matter.  Funny thing, that.

I have a personal friend - a lovely Chinese woman Linda, whose large home she shared with her husband, their daughter and son and their partners, their little children.  Her home is also shared with her mother.  This wonderful great grand-mother is revered as the sage of the family;  everyone seeks her advice and everyone treats her as a special precious gem.  She is included in every discussion and every decision made within the family.  She is in her late 80s.   Her great grand-children are in her care during the day.  The joy this family has in her presence in their lives is overwhelming in its simplicity and intensity.

Yet I have another friend in her 60s who is ignored by her children and grandchildren.  They're too busy.  She is forgotten for months on end, and then usually it's only when someone wants something that she has that they will contact her.  She is very seldom included in family get-togethers (birthday, Christmas, Easter) and there's always an excuse as to why she is "forgotten".  This lady lives less than 3 kms from her son.   She lives alone and her loneliness has brought with it illness and lines of anxiety and worry (which could have been avoided if she'd been able to talk through things with the family).  Yet she did everything for her family when they were younger;  gave them as much as she could, was always available for baby-sitting and house minding when the grandchildren were small and when they went on holidays.  And always ready to part with her savings when their needs were explained to her.   But now in her growing older years, she's seen to be a nuisance, and she's made to feel it, too. 

What is doubly sad about this second lady is that her grandchildren actually told her that she looked "ugly" because she's old, and they've even laughed about her, in her presence.   The fact that they now ignore her, is something that she bears because she has to, and because it's easier to do so.

From what I've experienced, as Western women, we tend to look at our reflections as something that needs "beautifying" or making younger by way of anti-aging methods, one way or the way.   Shouldn't we take time to look at ourselves and to study our reflections seeing the beautiful things about us that no one else on this planet share?    Many women from western cultures who are growing older or who are deemed to be "old" have forgotten how to love themselves.  They've forgotten that they are uniquely formed and created.

We've got to get back to basics.   We've got to treat ourselves as the person we are, not necessarily the age we are.   We're no different to that young teenager wanting to be accepted by a peer group;  we're no different to that young woman wanting to have a happy home and family;  we're no different to the maturing woman wanting to have a career or satisfaction in her hobby, leisure pursuit or even a personal enterprise.  We're no different to that woman through all her states of womanhood seeks companionship and love and affection.

What's age got to do with anything?  OK, so we slow down.   Our bodies are impacted by gravity and in some cases, illnesses.
But that shouldn't stop us from doing the things we've always wanted to do;  and to pamper ourselves every now and again.   We should be able to experiment with new things, new dreams, new goals, without having to justify why.   Have fun.  Don't take any nonsense from anyone!  Don't accept bad manners, or inappropriate attitudes and/or behaviour. 

Recognising beauty for what it is - at whatever age!

Miss Piggy probably said it best:

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder 

and it may be necessary from time to time 

to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."

But let's seriously consider it.  It's a very old sentiment which has been around since the 3rd century and while many men have included that sentiment in their work (Shakespeare for one), the actual quotation "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" was first seen in print in 1878.  Margaret Wolfe Hungerford (nee Hamilton) who wrote many books often under the pseudonym of "The Duchess" wrote "Molly Bawn" in 1878 and used the phrase "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".

And the saying and the meaning behind the saying is as pertinent today as it was when first penned.

You only have to look at the animal world to see that it's true.  Mothers just adore their off-spring and it's the same with us.  A new born babe will bring oohs and aahs and sighs of delights.

Take your surroundings - things of beauty dazzle our eyes every moment of every day.  Beautiful flowers, extraordinary sunsets.  The moon reflected on the water.  The sight of Uluru after it has rained.  The sound of a country stream merrily singing as it travels down a hillside.  The quietness and beauty of the forest.   Tiny little insects - ladybirds and the like, small birds learning to fly; the snuffling of a wombat.   We will spend time just watching their antics and movements.  Funny little kittens and puppy dogs.  Even little children as they learn to walk and in doing so keep toppling over.

It's not only young things that are beautiful.  Oh yes, the body of a "gorgeous" young woman will bring similar oohs and aahs and in fact will convince other young women that they should emulate the beauty defined by the media while those of us who are older, smile and remember!

As far as "beauty" is concerned, where does that leave the growing older woman?  Or the woman in her prime - the 70s, 80s and 90s?

It's weird, but men seem to be besotted and enamoured by battered old rusty cars or utes.  They'll spend hours longingly cleaning them and doing them up.  But what do they do when their girl-friends or wives grow a little old and rusty?  Trade 'em in for a later model.  Crazy!

They may even cunningly suggest that she's let herself "go" and could do with a bit of Botox (or not!) which should be taken with a grain of salt.  What do you really want botox for?  To hide the life-experiences that show the world that you've lived?  We should never be taken for granted or persuaded to change our looks merely for the sake of "looking younger".  Why?  The hands and neck will tell the story anyway and no botox will help those areas.

(And anyway, do most of us actually KNOW what Botox is?  It is made from "botulinum toxin type A", a poison produced by the bacterium Clostridium botulinum, which causes botulism, a severe form of food poisoning.

Botox is injected into the muscles used in frowning and raising the eyebrows to paralyze them and thus smooth out the wrinkles. Common side effects of Botox injection include droopy eyebrow or eyelid, headache, respiratory infection, flu syndrome, and nausea.)

To be continued ..... 

 © "The Aging Outrageously!" girls  

A few things to remember!

Eleanor Roosevelt said some fine and pertinent things:

• You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.

• No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

• Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

You can say what you like!

I'm on a mission. Well to be totally frank with you I'm always on a mission. Whether I achieve what I set out to do is irrelevant, because it's the fight and the chase that I enjoy. Especially when I believe I'm in the "right".

Well, this is a tiny little mission this time. It's to get people to recognise the important place that "snail mail" should hold in our lives. You know, ordinary letters and cards that go by postage and travel by train, bus, freight-truck, plane, ship, and even in some places by bicycle!

With the advent of electronic technology and I'm not questioning the value or otherwise, because I use it everyday, so I'd be a hypocrite if I did complain about it, but .......

People have forgotten (or is it intentional?) to telephone to talk about and over things that are important. Now, this doesn't sound so serious does it, but you ask around and you'll be surprised at the number of people who no longer have anyone ring them, to talk to them, to listen to them. It's usually done by mobile phone and everything's in such a hurry.   Everyone's too busy (and I suspect they're too busy because they're spending too much time on the computer or on one or more of the other contraptions now in use).

People have forgotten (or is it intentional?) to write. Oh yes, everyone writes emails these days. Whether it's a 20 page tirade or a two word (usually abbreviated anyway) communication. So impersonal. So direct and instant, yes. But so cold and calculating in many instances especially when you want to express yourself, your worries and even your joys to another special person, be it a family member or a friend.  Of course I don't include the fun things, or the urgent messages, or the little newsletters (which of course I write mountains of). We'd be lost without emails - well many of us anyway.

But what I mean are:

(a) the little hand-written "thank you" notes - thanking people not only for a gift, or a special item, but thanking them for their friendship or their love, or being there when needed.

(b) the little hand-written invitations to a baby's christening, or engagement party

(c) the little hand-written messages of comfort when someone is in urgent need

(d) the little hand-written note that says, "please be happy and well"

(e) the little hand-written birthday card (or other celebration) - it's too easy to send an email with a couple of lines.

I could go on and on. But you know what I mean.

'Cos there's nothing quite like going to the postbox and lifting out a little envelope with hand-writing that you recognise, and opening it, and reading words that have been written from the heart, and by hand. Someone who has taken the time to pick up the pen and card, or paper, and sit down and write the words personally.   (Even when it is typed).

You see in this modern world, everything is a race against time. And that's foolish, because time just cannot be stretched no matter how much a magician you may be. But it's what we do with our time that's important.

And I believe that a simple little thing like hand-writing notes, and cards, and sending them through the post, bring so much joy to people. Small children, teenagers, adults, older people. Everyone benefits.
People - believe it or not - still collect cards and hand-written notes. Show me how many people print out a message on the computer and "collect" it in a scrapbook or favourite little box? Or am I so old-fashioned that I'm starting to show my age, by what I believe in?

There, that's my "say" for today!

© Morgana de C

The (horse) race that stops a nation!

Yes, that's right.  Today is Melbourne Cup Day - the spectacle that hail, rain or shine, stops a nation in its tracks!   It's a tradition and this year was the 150th birthday of the Melbourne Cup, so regardless of whether you're a punter or a person who ignores horse racing for the rest of the year, most people will admit to watching either the race on television or else watch the re-run during the newscasts.


And it was a wet and cold, if not freezing day.   Yet the women, mostly scantily glad, shivering and sodden with heavy drenching rain, beautiful outfits ruined in less than 2 minutes, waved and shouted and jumped up and down in excitement as the race progressed.   How many outfits costing up to thousands of dollars will now be relegated to the nearest Op Shop? (be there early tomorrow morning girls!);  hats and shoes costing almost as much, and ladies left with sniffles and sneezes to account for their "day out"?   Although I'm sure the majority of them would say it was worth it!

So here are a few snapshots of the event.   Please note these photos are covered by copyright.

The Cup itself was awarded to the owners of Americain (an American horse, trained in France, and written by a French jockey who usually races in Hong Kong, and owned by Australians!) by the Governor General of Australia, Quentin Bryce.