Thursday, February 3, 2011

Learning to like yourself!

Is it difficult? Is it difficult for you?

Some people find it quite easy to like themselves. It might be that they've been brought up in an environment where they've always "felt" wanted and loved by family. That same feeling may then have continued during the years of growing up and going to school and then into their work-life. Their adulthood is filled with "knowing who they are" and they are quite content and if you ask them they'll say they "like themselves".

A lot of people though, for one reason or another, and it may not even have to do with the environment in which they were brought up, start having doubts about themselves. They doubt their skills, their ability to do even simple tasks. They question their purpose in life, and for many when they look in the mirror, they "see" failure. Not that they've failed at schooling or even within their work ethics, but too easily they can equate their "looks" with being a failure.

No amount of being told they're worthwhile; that they are as good as the next person, and that they've got everything going for them, will convince them that they're OK just as they are, and that they deserve the right to "like" themselves.

Some degree of belittling; putting down, being trodden on and walked over, has taken its toll in the feelings of worth as far as "self" is concerned. It may have been something someone said or did at one time or another, or maybe even repeated episodes of being treated in this way. For, if we are told we are useless and hopeless and even stupid enough times by enough people (and even by one person), we will begin to believe it. We will lose sight of our goals and ambitions and dreams and we will become putty in their hands, never believing we have the power and strength to think and do for ourselves.

Most of us are vulnerable at some time or another. Most of us feel let down and worthless if we are treated in such a way as mentioned above. And it takes a long time to discover that those negative opinions of others are wrong. The intolerance and unacceptable behaviour by others should never be taken on as our fault or blame. They are responsible for their actions and behaviour and should be made aware of the fact. Too many people never discover their birth-right of being accepted as a human being with all its trappings or enhancements, and they go through life feeling dejected and unwanted. And this shouldn't be.

The first step of learning to like yourself is simple but means a huge step forward. It takes courage and it takes determination and it takes a lot of guts and stubbornness at times. Even if some family and friends show acceptance towards and about us, yet we have the slightest doubts that have been set in place because of incidents in the past, then it takes a lot of effort on our part to believe in ourselves.

For one thing is certain. We must believe in ourselves. We have to believe in ourselves. 

We have to "see" ourselves as we see our loved ones. Unique individuals, unlike anyone else. After all, we are our own best asset! And we have to nurture that knowledge.

One small thing most of us in this group have learned is this. Learning to like ourselves for who and what we are, right now, is the way to opening new doors of opportunity and new ways of expressing and sharing ourselves with others. Our own lives become more fascinating and challenging.

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