If you fit any of these descriptions, or if other lingering problems have got you down, you probably need to change your tactics to find some solutions.
No matter what your problem, you can tackle it with a step by step formula that incorporates attitude and behaviour changes.
Step 1. Define your problem, being as objective as possible. Try to identify the circumstances and causes. Measure its importance in the context of your life.
Step 2. Accept your problem. Admit that it exists, and that you've got to deal with it - now.
Step 3. Break down your problem into manageable segments. Divide it into pieces, and attack the easiest ones first. As you whittle away at the problem you'll develop a sense of confidence that will carry you through to the end.
Step 4. Establish a goal that will resolve your first problem segment. Be as specific as possible, including a timeframe and the results you want, but keep your goals within reach.
Step 5. Explore all possible plans of action. Imagine how others might proceed and see if these methods suit you. Go through each plan mentally, "trying each on for size", to find one that seems more comfortable and potentially effective. Outline a "contract" (written or mental) with yourself to follow it through. Include rewards to give yourself when you reach specific goals.
Step 6. Take action. Once you've found a plan you can accept, try it. Stick with it until achieve your foal of until you reach the end of the timeframe you've set.
Step 7. Review progress. When you complete your first plan of action, take another look at your original problem. Has it changed? Do you feel differently about its important or how to want to resolve it? Once you've re-examined the problem and staked out a new piece to tackle, continue your plan from Step 4. Keep rotating through these steps until you solve your problem
The most critical element in the process may be your willingness to actively deal with your problems.
It is a well known fact that people say by their behaviour whether they're ready to change.
Some people after analysing their problems, find they don't really have any. Others discover there are multiple problems beneath the surface.
How long it may take to soleZ your particular problem depends both on the problem and on your willingness to change.
A critical part of your strategic planning is to establish a realistic timetable for progress.
Set your goals within a timetable that gives you a sense of accomplishment.
To be realistic, your schedule must allow for a certain amount of backsliding. Usually it's a "yo-yo" routine for the first few weeks as you go in and out of acceptance of the situations.
But once people do things differently on a consistent basis they can maintain the changes.
The sense of accomplishment you get from solving one major problem may prevent future problems.
Once you've got that mental attitude of being a victor, you can solve just about any problem.
... Alison H, of Elizabeth, South Australia (reprinted from RoseMary's NoteBook© Winter 2000).