Monday, July 28, 2014

NOBODY EVER SAID IT WAS EASY - but then if something is worthwhile it’s worth fighting for ...

if you want it, you have to work at it!

Today in the 21st Century, women are targetted with never-ending pressures to follow the dictates of many sections of society to meet a certain criteria.   That criteria has been set by people who are not perfect, so the probability that we can attain the standard demanded of us, is impossible.   

That doesn’t stop them from pestering us, nor does it stop us, for that matter, from turning ourselves inside out (both physically as well as emotionally) in an effort to become more acceptable to these people.   

For the plus-size women, as a result of unabated intolerance, whether it be based on our size, shape, weight or age, we begin to believe the negative insinuations voiced and displayed through magazines and television as well as by other people.

It doesn’t take too long before we are agreeing with them, maybe not so much verbally, but certainly from an internal guilt attitude.   If we had self-esteem to start with, then it quickly begins to erode, as year after year we are buffeted with unhealthy discriminatory attitudes.   We lose the fight to overcome this sort of treatment until such time as the perpetrators of this intolerance believe they’ve won the battle.

As a person of size, some time ago I personally decided to take a stand against this intolerance, and surprised everyone, including myself!   

My story runs parallel with thousands of others, in that being a taller and larger child I was subjected to rudeness and humiliation from a tender age by one of my parents.  The other loved me unconditionally!

Many women who are plus-size confide that their childhood was one of utter confusion.   If some members of their family showed affection towards them, then those who wouldn’t tolerate them being chubby or even taller than others at a similar age, showed hostility and disdain.  Growing up in such an atmosphere will make anyone confused!   This confusion may go on for years, and may sadly continue without a solution.

So what can we do about it?   I think it’s more a matter of “what do we want to do about it?”

If we are serious about wanting to change the situation, then it’s up to us, first and foremost to make an Action Plan.

Nobody else is going to fix the problem - if we’re honest, everybody else has got their own problems.   And anyway, isn’t  it a lot more fulfilling to know that we have resolved a lot of inconsistencies by doing something for ourselves?

I’m a great believer in making “lists”.  I’ve done it since childhood, and I still do it today.   If I want something or wish for something then I get out my pen and a writing pad, and write down the pros and cons of how I aim to achieve that plan or dream.

It’s all very well having the plan inside your head - it’s when you actually express your desire in writing and see it in black and white before your eyes, that suddenly a whole lot of things fall into place.

And that makes the journey VERY interesting!  

Don’t make the mistake however of believing that it’s going to be easy.  Oh, no.  Nothing worthwhile in this life comes easy.  If it did, then we would never have to struggle or strive and we’d never really gain what we’re after.  We wouldn’t grow as a person, because we’d get used to sitting back and having everything nice come to us.    What a lazy time of it we would have!

So let’s look at Self Esteem and some of the things it means.   Believe me, it means a lot, and my list only covers some!

Add your own, and if you’re brave why not let us know some of your additions to the list!  

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