Sunday, June 12, 2011

Why does time fly, even when you're NOT having fun?

From Morgana de Courcy

It comes as some surprise to realise it's so long between posts. Have I been busy? Well some say yes, and I say "sort of". But a lot has happened recently and I would suspect most readers would nod their heads and agree that time certainly flies.

Since writing my previous post, I've spent some time with small groups of women who are trying to get over illness; getting over family breakdowns; and trying to survive in a harsh embittered environment. The first two categories can affect all of us at any time- it doesn't only affect women who are aging or who are plus-size. But the third category falls into an area of its own. The ladies who I was privileged to meet and talk with, were all women who had struggled to overcome size discrimination. And would you believe that a couple of these women were tiny - naturally tiny women. But their stories bore out what we all know - that discrimination runs rife out there in the world and within families. They were told over and over again, that they should be ashamed of themselves for being anorexic - these women are healthy (bodysize based on their frames and heredity characteristics) who have lost a lot of their self confidence too. It was eye-opening for each of us as we discussed many instances of rudeness and insensitivity by other people based on our sizes - those who were considered "plus-size" and those who were considered to be "anorexic".

Surely we have to come to a situation of expecting acceptance from everyone around us, whatever our shape and size are? What do you think? 

What is self-esteem? That will be the subject of our next posting. But in the meantime we'd like you to think about your dreams and ambitions. Do you "dream" about doing something out of the ordinary, like starting up your own small business, or going to China to teach English as a language? Do you believe you can achieve those dreams and ambitions, or are you often filled with doubt and guilt, based on what someone says or does to you? 

We all aspire to doing something "better" in and with our lives. Even if we're hindered by circumstances and by the actions and behaviour of others, we CAN still make our lives more fulfilling and satisfying. All it takes is a whole lot of belief in our ability to know what is best for us. 

And deep down, we DO know what's best for us. Some people call it intuition or basic instincts or even "gut feelings". But in order to be seen as typical and normal in today's society, too often we shelve our own personal dreams and ambitions. What others say, and these may be family and friends, and even strangers, becomes the "norm", and we lose our sense of self in the process.

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