Dieting and Feelings and Attitude!

How many of us have "dieted" ? Because we felt we had to; because we were told we had to; because our family and so-called friends and the media told us that unless we did we'd never fit in and be accepted? We'd never find a man who loved us for who we are; we'd never get a top-notch job; we'd never ........... You can guess the rest. In fact you've probably lived this experience.

So it may come as no surprise to learn that I had dieted for more than 30 years, until ......... I visited a young Asian doctor. I was miserable, quite ill, and depressed. He asked how he could help me. I said I was an obese, nearly middle-aged lady and I wanted to get better. He said he couldn't change the age, but he could help me with my perceptions of obesity as well as helping me to feel better. He took my rather large hands in his tiny ones, and said I'll ask you three questions. Was your mother a big lady? Yes. Was your grandmother a big lady? Yes. Is your daughter a big lady? Yes. He then told me "with wrists and hands as heavily boned as you have (as well as other parts of your body), coupled with your height and the distribution of your weight, you'll never be slim. Even if you diet forever. And insisting on dieting to lose weight in an effort to become slim will only make you more unhealthy. What we can do is to work on what we've got. Your determination to become healthier." And he did work on what I've got!

You know, I walked out of that Doctor's surgery feeling young, attractive and slim! I use the word "feeling" because that's a very important word in our vocabulary. If we "feel" less fat then we have more confidence than if we feel "fat" ALL the time! And "feelings" are all tied up with attitude, aren't they?

Have I lost weight in the years since? Not really. He never ever pressured me to lose weight. He gave me the reassurance I needed, when I needed it most.

I felt I needed to share that with you. I sense that there are quite a few of you who think the guilt of being overweight is all yours and that you're completely to blame for not meeting the unrealistic expectations that society (including family and so-called friends) put upon us. It's not always that simple. Look at things from a different perspective and you may be surprised to find yourself seeing your own individuality as a unique creation first, who just happens to be fat.

And what does that mean? It means that you're probably fatter than a lot of people and you're probably thinner than a lot of people. That means we plus-sizers are actually the majority, rather than the minority. Gives us a bit more clout don't you think?

And all that dieting over the years resulted in nothing more than costing me a lot of money and costing me a lot in self-esteem. It also cost me a lot in health. So all the effort and all the going without and all the guilt wasn't worth it - not one iota!

© Leonie Stevens, Australia