Boxing Day

A leading psychologist on television the other day was saying that Christmas time seems to be a time when family stresses and disagreements come to the surface.   Many people no longer get together on Christmas Day for that reason.  In fact many families totally ignore one or more members of their family for that same reason.  Which is a shame, because surely we could find it possible to be considerate and respectful to each other (even if we don't see eye to eye on many things) just for one day of the year?  

However, I love Boxing Day because it's almost as though there is no pressure to be anything but relaxed.   My "adopted" family joined me and my friend for lunch on Boxing Day this year.  What a totally enjoyable couple of hours spent in the freedom of being who we are and able to be ourselves.  Not to mention lots of laughter and fun conversations accompanied by a lovely meal.

Happiness can come in large or small doses.   I count that occasion as a dose of happiness that I shall remember for a long time.

There are friends, and then there are "friends".   Boxing Day 2012 I have been blessed with a special affection from a couple who I deem to be "family", and I am so grateful for their love.

Choosing something special for the New Year

SANCTUARIE DESIGNS

 If you missed out on buing something special for yourself prior to New Year, then don't waste time - get in and order now so that you'll be the best dressed for any occasion in 2013.

These are beautiful garments.   Santuaries whole range is beautiful.   See for yourself by visiting their website.

But first, let's look at this scrumptious 2 piece set.    Look at the sizes available!  Up to 8X. 

NEW! Beautiful Customizable Sheer 2pc Blouse Set or 1pc Swimsuit Coverup! - Many Colors & Prints in Plus Size & Supersize 0x 1x 2x 3x 4x 5x 6x 7x 8x


This is a fabulous blouse, available in sizes Lg up to 8x. The overblouse is sheer, and can be worn over a swimsuit, a dress, or even as a neglige'. It ties in the front, has long sheer sleeves with small bell, and the bottom is a very flattering handkerchief style. This is great for our lovely pears out there, the hips swing out appx 15"-20" from the chest. There is also an option to get a pretty tank top to go underneath, adorned in white sequins, or plain. The undershirt is a stretchy poly/lycra blend, and the overshirt is a non-stretchy or semi-stretchy poly blend. Both are machine washable, and made in the USA.

Appx Measurements:
Lg: Chest:36" - Hips (appx):50"
XL: Chest:40" - Hips (appx):54"
0x: Chest:44" - Hips (appx):58"
1x: Chest:48" - Hips (appx):62"
2x: Chest:52" - Hips (appx):66"
3x: Chest:56" - Hips (appx):70"
4x: Chest:60" - Hips (appx):74"
5x: Chest:64" - Hips (appx):78"
6x: Chest:68" - Hips (appx):82"
7x: Chest:72" - Hips (appx):86"
8x: Chest:76" - Hips (appx):90"

** Measurements are always taken unstretched **

It's almost Christmas!

To everyone:

May your Christmas be safe, happy and blessed.    May your Christmas Day be filled with much love, laughter and happy times with loved ones - be they family or friends.

Beautiful greeting!

With acknowledgement to Alexander McCall Smith:  this is a greeting that he used to close off his December newsletter and I want to share it with you.

Soave sia il vento - 

may the breeze that carries you

on your journey be a gentle one.

Pain - and - hurt

The first step in not hurting others

 is to stop hurting yourself.

Don't put life on hold, or wait until ........

We human beings are simply amazing.   Think about it - even if we are hindered by constraints, we can become the person we were meant to be, simply by believing and doing what we can to make that possible.   We can go anywhere we want - even if it is sitting in an armchair watching a travel documentary.   We can be a friend to someone we have yet to meet as well as caring and giving to those we have the privilege of knowing and calling our "friends".   We can receive love, and we can give love.  Unconditionally.

So it saddens me somewhat when I hear women say to me, "I don't know how to be happy."  Are they really speaking about happiness which is, after all, very difficult to describe and may only be fleeting, or do they mean a feeling of complete confidence in themselves and their lives (whatever circumstances they may find themselves in) which is often translated as "joy"?  I ask because I speak from personal experience in that I have known times and moments of happiness, which is not a state of permanence, whereas inner joy is.

Now, both you and I know there many things that occur in our lives that can burden us; that can inhibit us; that can hold us back; and that can limit our feelings of adequacy and worth.   Those of us who have managed to work through some (or even all) of those feelings know what it's like.   And the best advice we can give to those who are still endeavouring to "discover" themselves?  

1. To live in the NOW, and 
2.  LOVE yourself (in order that you may be able to love others, unconditionally), and
3.  LAUGH as often as you can, and as often as you like.   (Isn't there an old saying, that "laughter is the best medicine"?)
4.  Surround yourself with beautiful things (and beautiful people - and we're ALL beautiful, you know) as well as lovely music.

Give yourself constant healthy and happy self-talk.   Read "positive" publications that reinforce your feelings of self-worth.  As often as possible.   Discard thoughts of not being good enough;  "you're not worth it";  "you'll never succeed";  "you're a waste of space" and similar comments made to us by ourselves and people who should be encouragers but who gain some delight in putting us down all the time.   Seriously think about those people and whether you shouldn't perhaps have less to do with them - even if they are family members - because no matter how much you adapt to meet their expectations and demands, you'll never meet their unrealistic ideals. And why should you bother?   Much better to set your own personal goals, and as you reach each of those goals, to set your sights higher and wider - for your own personal achievement and satisfaction, not for theirs.

Don't have regrets - all of us have disappointments, but there's no need to dwell on them.   They are a part of life, and life is to be lived to the fullest.   Life, love and laughter is what it's all about.  Here and now!

 “Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. 

We have only today. Let us begin.” 

― Mother Teresa

“When you arise in the morning 

think of what a privilege it is

 to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love ...” 

― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

LOVE, without ATTACHMENT!

A lot of my friends (and even casual acquaintances) tell me that even though they surround themselves with lots of "positive" messages about self-acceptance, and plenty of healthy self-talk, there are times when they feel "out of place" and not quite sure of themselves, especially when it concerns relationships.

This is a favourite piece I have repeated and reproduced over many years through my newsletters and small booklets. I hope you will find it encouraging in your personal life.

Love without attachment!

After a while you learn the subtle difference

between holding a hand and chaining a soul

And you learn that love does not mean leaning, 

and company does not mean security

And you begin to learn that kisses are not contracts

and presents are not promises

And you begin to accept rejection

with your head up and your eyes clear

with the grace of an adult,

not the heartache of a child

And you learn to build you life on NOW

because tomorrow is too uncertain

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much

Plant your own garden and decorate your soul

instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers

After a while you learn that you really have infinite worth.

...... Author unknown

What's your Opinion?

I heard on the television morning news a few days ago, that there's a suggestion from Professor David Penington for teachers to add the weight of a child to their report cards in an effort to combat obesity.  Parents, psychologists, and a whole spate of other interested parties are jumping up and down in anger at possible consequences.

Read the link hereunder and see what you think.   Is "naming and shaming" a child going to successfully combat obesity?   Will it even, in the worse scenerio, pit parent against child, each blaming the other because of the child's size?  Will it set in place a dislike even hatred against teachers and education per se?   Will it put teachers at a disadvantage whereby as many have already said "we're there to teach the children, not to put them down because of their weight"?  Will it set in place more opportunities for bullying?  There are countless ramifications when you think about it.

In fact, let us know here at RoseMary's NoteBook© what you think, because this whole subject of categorising children into "fat" or "thin" is bound to reflect on any child's self-esteem and feelings of worth.   Believe me, I'm one of those people who as a child was subjected to this kind of pressure and I know the personal effect on me.  I'm fortunate in that I've been able to work my way through those feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness based on what I was told regarding my size.  Many people can't handle the humiliation and never get over it.   And speaking with hundreds of women over the years, I can speak knowingly of tragic circumstances resulting from inappropriate behaviours, attitudes, comments and actions by those who supposedly were out there to "help the child lose weight" which then became "we'll help you lose weight" (as an adult),  but who did nothing more than erode that person's perception of self.

As many parents have said, bring back sports and physical education into the curriculum;  encourage children of all sizes to be treated with respect and tolerance by each other and to each other; and encourage kids to get outside and play games - preferably with the parents participation.   We all know that parents have time constraints, but having and bringing up kids is an all-round responsibility - we've been there and done that and at times it was difficult, but the effort was worthwhile.  What we've got to do is the right thing by our kids (and grandkids) while at the same time expecting "society" (the media, the health industry, educators etc) to do likewise.

I look forward to your feed-back.

http://theconversation.edu.au/adding-kids-weight-to-report-cards-will-do-more-harm-than-good-for-preventing-obesity-11211

Getting ready for Christmas!

There always seems to be a rush almost at the last moment for a girl to buy her "must-have" dress for a special Christmas festive occasion.   For the plus-size girl, even though she may spend lots of time looking at stores in all the local shopping malls (and even those in other parts of the city), she may find disappointment and frustration at the lack of something really out of the box.

There's still time though if you're quick to be able to take advantage of the simply beautiful dresses from
Igigi (USA).

The Antoinette Plus Size Gown in Copper is one such dress.

I'm wondering whether Copper is the colour for this season?  (No matter that we here in Oz are in Summer while the USA is heading into Winter - we can always adapt.  But only if those colours are made available here - too often we have to wait for another two seasons before we get the opportunity of being in sync, and then of course we lose out because we're always "following" the leader!)

But here's the blurb from Igigi's website for this magnificent dress:

Make a jaw dropping entrance in this glamorous blend of vintage style and contemporary design. Its pleated cascading skirt elongates the silhouette while it's removable beaded belt cinches and defines your waistline. Pair with sparkly heels and a classic clutch.

Designed and made in San Francisco, USA

Color: Copper

Material: Poly/Elastane

Care: Dry Clean Only. Belt - Spot Clean Only

Our sizes tend to run larger. For perfect fit, please consult with the size charts.

Model Info: Wearing Size 14/16, Height - 5'9", Shape - Hourglass.

Surprised? Yes. Disappointed? Yes. Hopeful that things will change? Yes.

It takes something really out of the ordinary to make me sit up and want to yell from the rooftops that "this isn't fair".

Mind you, I've been up there (on the rooftop) many times over the years, in an endeavour to get women to recognise inappropriate attitudes (as far as body size and looks are concerned) and to put in place practical and workable solutions that will benefit their own lives, and those of other women in society.  Then something comes along when I listen in astonishment and say how can this be so?

On this morning's news on ABC 24, there was an interview of two  young women - Louise Adams a Body Image Consultant and Kristan Dooley of the Women's Forum Australia.   They spoke about body image in the present day, and more importantly the impact that negative body image is having on our children.

Firstly Kristan Dooley, the MD of Women's Forum Australia, was interviewed about the Lottie doll that is making inroads into the doll market for little girls.  The Lottie doll is a doll that represents a small child, and she even "stands on her own two feet".  She is totally unlike Barbie in her shape and figure and sales of this doll are surprising both retailers and the supplier.  A very positive interview from Kristan and there's no doubt that many parents will be looking for Lottie dolls to give as Christmas presents this year.


"There's a new kid on the block and she's all kinds of cute. Meet Lottie, the wholesome girl-next-door doll, here to destroy the joint with a healthy dose of body image realism.

She doesn't wear make-up, has a waist that won't fit through the eye of a needle, and sports sensible shoes built for jumping in puddles. She even manages to stand on her own two feet.

Barring an exceptionally large head - presumably to house her enormous brain - and Manga-sized eyes, her dimensions are modelled on the average nine-year-old girl's body shape.

Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/national/a-whole-lottie-to-love-about-this-girlnextdoor-doll-20121201-2ao4o.html#ixzz2E3VmbeNt"

Louise Adams then spoke about body image today being a fundamental dislike of body size and shape which is resulting in many eating disorders with countless women and young girls not liking themselves. She then mentioned that although many magazines are no longer photo-shopping the photos of models and women shown within their pages, there is still a lot to be done via the media, magazines and television to promote a healthy and happy philosophy of acceptable. She also mentioned that many women see themselves as objects and they then tend to look at other women as objects - never seeing their own worth nor the worth of other women, regardless of their ages, shape or size.

But this is where it gets scary, and down right frightening.   Children at pre-school at the ages of 3 and 4 are "dieting", or refusing to eat certain foods because they'll get or BE fat.   Where does this body dislike start?  Obviously in the home and through film, television and magazines.

What is happening in a society where little 3 and 4 year olds see that unless they diet, they'll become unacceptable?  

Have we turned away from the need to reinforce feelings of worth into our children and grand-children?  Can we blame current society or is some of the blame our own?   Where have we gone wrong?   What can we do about changing this situation?   Can we do anything?

We've got to talk about this subject.  With each other and to each other.