GROWING OLDER, with style

I'm a great observer of places and people.  Particularly women.   When it comes to seeing someone who takes your eye and is an example of a person who is comfortable with who and what she is, then this shows in their dress as well as demeanour.

Take Jill for example.  A woman in her 70s and very proud of it.  I have only known her for about 3 years, yet She astounds me with her dress sense and style every time I see her.

For more examples of "growing older" women who are living exciting and adventurous lives, visit our sister-blog,  "the SILVER GENERATION©".   

TAKING RISKS!

I sometimes wish I were a "wordsmith" - someone who could say in a few beautiful words what my heart would like to say and describe.  (I just know someone will write and tell me the word should be "was" and not "were"!)

Reading a wonderful new book the other day, "Out of the Woods but not Over the Hill" by Gervase Phinn, I came across this paragraph:

"Life is full of risks.  If you laugh, you risk being thought silly;  if you weep, you risk appearing mawkish;  if you ask a question, you risk sounding foolish; if you show your feelings, you risk revealing your true self; if you try, you risk failure; if you tell  someone you love them, you risk not being loved back.  But the risk is worth taking, because the person who risks nothing has a pretty tedious life."

This almost says it all.   Reading it makes you realise that you're not the only one who has taken these risks - in fact some readers will have taken them all!

Being human brings with it a level of uncertainty in all manner of situations and circumstances.   Not taking risks seems to me to be rather unwise, for that person never really lives.  Especially having taken the risk and come through the other side a stronger and better person.

*  If you want a book that will delight you, will bring memories of your childhood, and will make you laugh until you roll around the floor, then you must read the books by Gervase Phinn.   Enquire from my friend Meryll at Rainy Day Books and she'll put you in the right direction.   www.rainydaybooksofthebasin.blogspot.com

I MAY BE A "SENIOR" BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN A THING IN THE SCHEME OF THINGS!

It's a funny thing and I can't quite work it out.   I've been writing this and other blogs for more than five years (my NoteBook© of course has been going for 24 years now), and when I check the stats of how many followers I have on this particular blog, there are so few that I wonder why and more importantly what is going on?   Some of my colleagues and friends have literally thousands and of course their FaceBook friends number in the millions!!!!!

Is it that the content of my blog isn't interesting?  Is it that because there are thousands of fascinating blogs out there to read in any one day that one (mine) doesn't rate a mention?

Is it old-fashioned?  Boring?   

Well, I mentioned this to a group of colleagues the other day.  I was met with a great deal of laughter,  Even within that group each and everyone of them said they had the NoteBook© top of their lists of feeds.  I then asked some of my website friends and people who work with numbers and stats every day and they tell me there's nothing to worry about - there are LOTS of people following me!   So that intrigues me!  

The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that "statistics" in this modern world aren't quite what they appear to be and most definitely are not what they are supposed to be.  They certainly are not what they used to be and I speak advisedly on this matter because I used to deal with "stats" every day in my work.

With that said I've decided to do what I do best.  Dig my heels in and continue in my own stubborn way. 

Even Rett Butler from Gone with the Wind  was quoted as saying, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn" as he went merrily on his way. 

I could also add the words, "I don't give a damn what people think" and go on my merry way too.  Which means I shall continue writing my blog and having fun doing so, all the while not worrying about how many "followers" I have (according to the Stats - whoever counts these!)

PS.  Many of my other friends around the world who write blogs have told me the same thing - they don't even know whether ANYbody is reading or following them.   A couple even stopped writing altogether and then received numerous emails asking why had they stopped!

I say, forget the numbers - and that's a good title for another post dealing with size, don't you think?

'til next time

WHAT IS SELF ESTEEM?

It’s many things.  Here are some of them.  (Based on a generously endowed curvaceous woman's experience!)

Self-esteem is learning:

* to like yourself, as you are! 

* to see yourself as a friend would see you, as a person worthy of respect

*  that it is not being selfish if you want things - perhaps you’d like to go to university;  you’d like to have a top flight career;  and you’d like to dress well

* that people from all sorts of walks of life should treat you with respect and courtesy

* that your health and fitness should be seen as being of the same worth as any other person, especially younger and slimmer

* that your health and fitness is YOUR business

* that your opinions should be respected   

* that your intelligence should not be questioned

* that how you dress is your choice (and your business) and  you shouldn’t be expected to accept derision or contempt

* that you have rights.   Rights that may include being able to choose for yourself those things that will make you happy.  Choosing for yourself those things that you agree o disagree with.   Choosing for yourself your own circle of friends.  Choosing for yourself what you may eat and what you may choose not to eat.   

* that no one has the right to push you into doing things that you don’t want to do, such as dieting, or undergoing surgical manipulations, including cosmetic

*  that you can do what you want if you really want to

*  that you can wish for anything you want and then go out and make your wishes come true

* that you have a right to be loved.   By others and by yourself

* that no one has a right to belittle you, to put you down or to walk over you

*  that you have the right to pursue a career, and that promotions are part and parcel of that career

* that you have the right to look for a partner and the right to be loved and respected by that person.

* that you should never be used, or abused (in an form, including verbally, physically, emotionally or any other sort)

* that you are a unique and a one-off person with your own personality and individuality

* that your opinions are valuable assets and are yours alone

*  that you have a special place in this universe, and no one has the right to tell you otherwise.  

THE FUN of BEING PLUMP

More than 50 odd years ago, an artist by the name of Duane Bryers in America, created a cheeky redhead.  He named her Hilda (to many these days an old-fashioned word that would describe a staid, matronly, even bitter thin-lipped woman).  However the more you see of these pictures of Hilda, the more the name Hilda seems to fit her.

(I don't know what Duana Bryers named this partcular picture, but I thought "Satisfaction" neatly says it all!)

But it’s not the name Hilda that is so pertinent to my post today.  It’s her figure - her shape - her roundness - her plumpness.   More than that it is her cheekiness, her fun and carefree attitude.   She takes life as it is, and laughs her way through it.

You know I’ve been around a fair while, and I had never heard of Duana Bryers and I’d certainly never heard of Hilda. Perhaps it is because she is part of American history and unless we had the privilege of purchasing calendars from the States in years gone by, there was no reason why we should have known Hilda.  But I found her yesterday and I believe she dispays ALL the attributes that a plus-size “pin-up” girl needs.   

For one major question stands out to me: 

where during the past 50 years did our self-acceptance, 

our sense of fun at life and living,

our carefree sense of being completely at ease with our own self, 

disappear to?    

Did life become far too serious, far too responsible, far too hard and difficult, that we forgot how to be HAPPY?   

Let’s enjoy the simple pleasures of life.   Being plump and having plenty of curves is something to admire and something to celebrate.   Remember too that age has nothing to do with self-acceptance - you can never be too young or too old.

GETTING REAL!

Someone sent me this fun cartoon.   It certainly made me smile, but it also reminded me that we are living in a society where "perfection" as it applies to the female form, has taken a turning where normal or typical is no longer seen as being totally acceptable.

Today to be "seen" as acceptable a woman has to be:  young - slim (if not skinny); svelte (with no bumps or curves); sexy (what exactly is sexy?) and most importantly young.

How has this come about?   What has changed from the 1950s ,,,,,,?  

A lot happened.  Firstly the 1960s brought about a swing in attitudes - of life as well as behaviours.   The fact that Jean Shrimpton wore a knee length shift (dress) at the Melbourne Cup, WITHOUT a hat or gloves (oh, dear! what was the world coming to?) caused loud headlines in the press.  But that's too easy to say that her decision to wear an outrageous dress - for the era that is - caused the change in attitudes to women's shapes and sizes.  But it certainly was one of the factors that started the ball rolling.

We all shortened our hemlines.  We lowered our necklines.   Everything was free and easy.   But for the plump and curvaceous woman, that was also the start of an inherent and growing animosity towards the way SHE looked.   Size discrimination rose to greater heights and it became apparent in film, television, the media per se.  Women's magazines took on the role of telling their readers to diet, to undergo cosmetic surgery, to attend the latest and very expensive gyms in order to attain the lean, sleak bodies of more naturally slim women.  They didn't tell their readers that it was OK to be a different size or shape and that all sizes could be considered normal or typical.   Manufacturers began to treat the curvaceous woman with scorn and retailers hid clothes for her size in a tiny section at the back of the department store.   It took many years for "plus-size" suppliers to come out of the woodwork.

So that's where the whole thing went haywire.   For all women are NOT fundamentally the same shape or are meant to be the same size.   Women were told they HAD to diet;  they did and many did far more damage to their bodies and minds through yo-yo dieting over decades than they could have imagined.   Somebody forgot to tell them that genes play a bit part in their body makeup (in fact it was only recently that the medical people have acknowledged this to be true - it was argued about heatedly in previous decades.)

What happened next?  Suddenly eating disorders became prominent.   A whole new industry was born whereby people were counselled about disorders in their eating behaviours.  The human body, and mind,  suffered serious consequences.  Not only women but men and children are affected.   In all age groups.

What am I trying to say?   I'm saying it's about time we realised that the world is made up of people who look different, who have differnent shapes and sizes, and we should recognise and respect each other unconditionally.

(I'm not talking here of those who are addicted to non-stop eating, or eating inappropriate foods until they really do become medically and dangerously obese.   Nor am I talking about those people whose bodies react violently to the medications they may be taking.)

Let's join in the protest (albeit quietly but determinedly) 

that ALL women's bodies and shapes should be 

celebrated, no matter what age, size or shape ©.  

IF YOU BECOME ANGRY

When and if  you become angry

at how you now feel about life

angry at how you look;

angry about regrets;

angry at the things which you feel you are missing out on;

angry at bad decisions made;

angry about past experiences;

angry at certain people;

 and you don’t confront that anger and deal with it

then you successfully stifle

your own maturity and development.

If you want to stay in the mire of uncertainly and insecurity, do nothing

 - but take the responsibility for doing nothing

Others cannot be continually blamed for how you see yourself and your life if you are not open to taking charge and channeling your talents and energy into positive and right-thinking ideas and goals.  Don’t put others in a position where they have to feel guilty about your situation - just acept every person for who and what they are - preferably seeing the good points and appreciating those good points.    And how about recognising YOUR own good points?

And if others don’t fit into your perspective of decent and worthwhile people, then look elsewhere for your friendship.  This also applies to families, - quite often a family member can be a hindrance fo one’s own self-esteem and self-confidence.  Treat them with the respect they deserve - no more, no less, but don’t waste time on them.

Time is far too short to conentrate on negative people and negative situations.  Rise above the depressions and cloudy outlooks of life, and learn to look at yourself and see youself as a valuable person, and you’ll not only be a better person but certainly a happier one.  You don’t have to be popular, but at least it can be said of you that you know yourself, and accept yourself, and maybe before long you may find yourself considered by friends and foes alike as being a person who is straight forward and still nice to know.

.....© Rosemary P-B

HURTING ....

"THE FIRST STEP IN NOT HURTING OTHERS

 IS TO STOP HURTING YOURSELF"

HOW CAN YOU STAY HAPPY AND HEALTHY .......

While at the same time you're growing older .....

As we well know, most women very early form a habit of putting everyone else first. When she becomes a mother this is a "natural" habit that very soon becomes a life-style. It stays with her. A consequence of this, though, is that as we grow older, we're often unaware of what activities we can enter into, which will boost our mood, our attitude and immunity. But there are a few things, that even the so-called experts agree on, that will help us through this.

Here are one or two suggestions.

TALK. Bottling up worries or sadness is deeply unhealthy and guaranteed to suppress immunity. If you feel sad, chat with a friend and don't be afraid to cry. Tears are a good way of releasing repressed emotions and stress. If you feel you need more than that, ask your GP to refer you to a professional counsellor.

LISTEN TO MUSIC. Countless studies show that laughter is hugely beneficial to health - and sharing laughter is better still. So rent a funny DVD, get some friends around and let your humour take over. If you're not really into some of the "modern" humour, why not even drag out of the kid's cartoons/Walt Disney films? Just be a kid again - even if you have grey hair and wrinkles.

EAT and DRINK. In moderation - of course! But then why do we always put limitations on what we should do, especially to relax and recharge our batteries. Seriously though, don't let the fact that just because you might be alone, that you needn't go to the bother of laying the table properly for a meal. Put a small vase of flowers of a specimen rose beside your plate setting, and enjoy a nice wine (even non-alcoholic). Too often we can feel guilty about enjoying ourselves, which is not the way it should be. Tell yourself, I deserve to be pampered and if this means pampering yourself, then so be it. You'll soon believe it.

PRAY. Even those with "no-faith" understand the importance of having a special little place in their home such as a small side table with family photos, flowers, a candle, anything that represents beauty and love, will bring a warm sense of well-being. Those with faith, know the importance and the countless benefits they receive from actually praying or talking with God.

THINK POSITIVE. Hard to at times, but work at it. Never go to sleep fretting over a problem. It achieves nothing. A better idea before going to bed is to concentrate on all the happy (even tiny) events of the day for a few minutes. Avoid negative thoughts at all costs.

Stay away from people who constantly bombard us with doom and gloom. Never lose hope. Remember, miracles do happen, every day, to ordinary every-day people, like you and me.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!   MAY YOUR DAY BE FILLED WITH LOVE AND MANY NICE SURPRISES.

DAY-DREAMING ...

I'm at long last finding time to spend to myself and I'm being surprised every day with the knowledge there are times when I like solitude.

Let me hasten to say though, that in no way do I enjoy being "lonely" and sometimes it happens - but I mean choosing to be "alone" is quite nice when you want it to be.

For those of you who know me a little through my columns in various women's newsletters, you'll already know my career curve has taken another one - curve I mean! I'm loving the freedom that this choice is giving me in doing the things that I want to do, when I want to do them, and with whom I want to do them. And I'm saying nothing further in that regard - well, not at the moment anyway.

This morning has been one of those "supposedly" summer days with the promise of warm sunshine but a chilly little breeze reminding me that a cardigan would have been prudent!  While sitting down with a good book and a cup of coffee - with cream! - I found I was suddenly transported away on imaginings and my thoughts were falling all over each other in their scramble to form a sensible pattern. I realise I was daydreaming, and when I thought more seriously about it, I realised I hadn't had time to daydream for years, being heavily committed to business activities and travelling and then having to run the home as well before my CDC - "career direction change".

I remembered as a child - especially in the classroom, when I would dabble in daydreaming - of course neither the teacher nor my parents found it a bit amusing, and told me I was wasting valuable time and expense in doing so.

But you know, I found in my early and mid-adulthood, that being able to daydream occasionally rounded off some of the harsh edges that life created for me. And I guess it's the same for many people. Being able to put day-dreams into action plays a big part in our abilities to take on new challenges, to set new goals and to undertake new adventures.

(Wikimedia Commons)

I don't know about you, but I find daydreams very valuable stuff - without them I think life would be sadly lacking in some of the romance and fantasy areas that we all need at some time during our lives.

That's not to say we should spend the whole day daydreaming, but occasionally it can do us good. As a matter of fact just like chocolates - I've read so many times over the past decade or so just how VERY good chocolates can be for us, if eaten sensibly and moderately.

That's great because I've decided to take advantage of daydreaming when I want to, and enjoying chocolates when I want to. Perhaps I can combine the two together!

Because I reckon I'll be all the happier - knowing that there's no suggestion of "having to go without" all because people say that neither are good for me. To me, "going without",  WOULD be a waste of time!

© 2013 Leonie Stevens, Australia

MAKING AN IMPRESSION - WHY DON'T WE?

Do you shy away from the camera?

I don’t know about you, but I think it’s high time we (the amply endowed women of the world) got out from behind our blinkers and our protective fortresses and tried some new things.

A lot of us haven’t yet come to terms with a camera.  With what a camera sees when it looks at us.  When we see a photograph that’s been taken, our eyes are immediately drawn to:  our double chins; our fat tummy; our drooping boobs;  our hair that could do with a trim;  our face that could probably do with some sort of improvement, and one of our favourite garments that has seen better days.  We look at the photo critically and with no sense of reality.    We’re intimidated with what  we “assume” the camera has seen within and about us.  And we’re uncomfortable!   And the more uncomfortable we get, the more often we’ll refuse to have our photo taken.  

You and I both know of women who have refused to have their photo taken for 20, 30, 40 and more years!   Are you one of them?

Missing out on incredible experiences and in turn memories because we’re scared off by cameras is a great pity.   It’s almost as though we want to be invisible.   There’s certainly a small amount of shame in the decision.  Why?

We’re unique individuals, and we should be proud of who we are, and dare I say it, but we should be proud of what we look like.   We’re all different, but we belong to the family of “women”.  We belong to our own personal family, with all its inherited genes and characteristics, and it’s not only our current families but even those who are to come who will ask about us, and how better to show them than by photographs.  Photographs that show us in our different age seasons.  Photographs that show us in life situations - celebrations, family/friend get-togethers, birthdays, weddings and the like.  Miss the opportunity and they miss out, as well as us.

AGING OUTRAGEOUSLY! - Keeping Focus, Part II

In our travels and dealings with women we have come to the conclusion that most older women (of course there are exceptions to the rule) have, during most of the seasons of their lives, given to others excessively even to the point of sacrifice and neglect to themselves and their personal needs (of time, money, opportunities and lots of other things.)

Now this is not an un-natural occurrence. As a child we defer to our parents and honor them for being who and what they are. Whether we like them (as well as love them) is sometimes debatable, but ....... As a growing teenager, we suddenly discover we can do lots of things outside of our parents rule-book (whether they know about it or not is another matter!), but we grow and learn and discover lots of new things, and sensations. As an adult we can quite often find ourselves responsible for other people, including parents, children, other family members, indeed even friends. We take on all these responsibilities with sensitivity and regard them as being privileges.

Then one morning we wake up, and life has changed - drastically and dramatically for us.

Our children (those of us who have them, bless their little hearts) have moved out, married and started their own families; our parents may have an even greater need of our attention and our love and care (and even though we get tired at the end of the day, we really wouldn't have it any other way, because the alternative is too horrid to think about !); our partners need not only more emotional care and support but also physical; and friends have a far greater need and call upon us to offer the shoulder more often plus a few tissues to help them through all of what's going on with, and in, their lives.

Some of us even find that what we thought was "firm" and long-standing, no longer is. Financial circumstances can set off all sorts of alarm bells in our feelings of independence and security. Health problems rear their nasty little heads and cause us lots of sleepless nights. Marriages or relationships break down and so often we find we are beset with all sorts of problems never before imagined. We may find ourselves adrift without any support or encouragement from those people who are supposed to care - even family and friends. We may face the prospect of having to fight battles without the energy or resilience of youth. We set out to do what we must do because we've fought these same battles time and time again throughout our younger years. A case of deju vu. But now we're older, and we're much more tired.

To be continued .......

INTERNATIONAL and NATIONAL WOMEN'S MAGAZINES

LATEST FASHION TRENDS on SKINNY GIRLS

One question remains unanswered as far as I’m concerned.  Why do women’s national and international magazines insist on showing us half-grown petulant, skinny girls (I'm not talking about naturally thin models!) to show off the latest “garment” thrown together by a well-known designer.  If you’re observant and look around you, you’ll readily see that those models DON'T represent the girls at the major store counter or the girls sitting near you at the mall coffee shop or the women in your family and groups of friends.  Those garments are, we’re told, all made in a size 0 or less - how can you get anything less than zero?  

Do you know why?  

Manufacturers tell me that it’s because the garment hangs better on a body without flesh or curves!   Aaah, am I missing something here?  Because you can't tell me that the above model is either happy or healthy and that the garment hangs better on her than on a girl with a little more flash.   There’s a contradiction here - even a size 16 girl will look different to the size 10 or less model wearing the same garment!   Is it strange then that a plus-size woman feels frustrated?  The only reason I can see why they insist on making sample garments in such a small size and using models so thin they look as though they’ll break, is because .......... it takes less fabric!    But that doesn't quite answer the question does it?  If a garment is for a size 16 girl, then surely it should be modelled on a size 16.  Yes?

If there’s another answer to this question, then I’d like to hear it.

HOW MANY PLUS SIZE WOMEN ACTUALLY BUY THESE MAGAZINES TODAY?

These magazines are still selling - and if the comments of most of the women I know is true, then these magazines are being produced in spite of the fact that not many plus size women are buying them.  What a contradiction.  Women’s magazines are supposed to be for ALL women of all ages, sizes and shapes - yet do we see ourselves represented fairly within their pages?   I only read magazines at the hairdressers, in the doctors rooms and the like these days, but not in my kitchen or lounge room (that is unless I sneak one from my hairdressers!).  

ONCE AGAIN THE INAPPROPRIATE "POSES" OF OUR MODELS and "CELEBRITIES"

Another point about these half starved waifs that I can’t understand - and I’m not alone in this, is the way they stand or pose.   Honestly most of them look as though thy need to find the “ladies” quickly or else they’ll have an embarrassing moment.   What is this all about?

Put a mini dress on a model and she crosses her ankles - put her into a pair of jeans and she sits with her legs open wide.  Am I really that old-fashioned to be offended?

LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST

The debate about the size of models has been going on for far too long, without any resolution that satisfies the majority of women.  Even young women.  I see a number of blogs these days written by young, intelligent, articulate women - teenagers through to 30-40 year olds - all declaiming the use of digital enhancements and photoshopping of models and even photographs of everyday things - landscapes and the like.   Even some of our better known and top models say they don’t even recognise themselves after being photo-shopped!    What does that say?  It says that we’re being conned, and that reality is no longer real. 

Don't you think it's about time we saw "real" women - flesh and curves; wrinkles and grey hair; faces and bodies that are their own and original (without the help of a scalpel) in our magazines - or isn't the 21st century world ready for this yet?  When will someone in the media have the courage to make decisions to show us as we are, not as "they" want us to be?

DO YOU EVER WONDER?

Have today's women become TOO obsessed with thin-ness and sexuality, losing out on femininity and sensuality?   Have we lost the ability to tell the difference?

MANNIKIN SIZES

Yes, I know I harp on this subject, but let’s be honest.   Why do our major stores, Myer, David Jones; the stores such as Cue, Noni B, Katies, The Iconic, Dotti, Portmans, Autograph, ts14Plus, even Sara and the discount stores K Mart, Target, Woolworths, refuse to get “with it” and treat their customers - particularly those of us with curves - with some respect?   Online stores such as Virtu, City Chic, Dream Diva and Killer Curves have recognised the importance of showing young women who are full busted, round hipped, and deliciously curvy.  No wonder these online stores are doing fantastic business.   They are responsible in their endeavours to encourage the plus-size women that she can build upon her self-image, and most certainly add style to her wardrobe by wearing their clothes.

I walk into any of the so-called major stores in Collins Street and in our elite shopping malls and I don’t see ONE store mannikin that is a size 18 or larger.  Why?   Don’t the stores research their customers?  Don’t they take time to look at the female form as it is today?

(This store mannikin below is the only one of size 16 that I have ever come across.  It is in a salon in Perth, Western Australia.)

I ask a further but simple question here - do these stores insist on employing women of only a certain size (and age)?  If they do, then that’s discrimination but I’ll not get into that at the moment.

I have contacts in the US who are coming to the conclusion that the “weight debate” has turned really nasty over there.   Whatever strides we made during the latter part of the 90s and through the early 2000s have been lost in a sea of increased intolerance and ridicule.  It offends me that our struggles to be understood and accepted as equals has been turned around and become more hurtful and disrespectful than they were a decade or more ago.

I guess it’s up to the young women of today who see the injustices and inconsistencies in the modern world, to take up the battle.   Some of them are rather strident and unfortunately do themselves injustice by being militant and their language demeans the respect that we should show ourselves, let alone each other.  However on the other side of the coin, many of these younger women are fighting with fire in their heart and their feistiness is infectious.   I applaud them.

It’s time that we took stock of this whole subject of becoming invisible because of our size which means that we no longer have a place in people’s thinking;  their attitude is that we’re fat and therefore we don’t deserve any consideration.  Well, I have something to say to these people.  You ain’t seen nothing yet!

We can turn the tide.   We can make a difference.  All it takes is a bit of get up and go.   If we don’t like the way the stores treat us, then we have the privilege of letting them know.  Verbally as well as by writing and telling them.  We have the privilege of commenting via the internet.  We have the privilege of contacting the newspapers, the television stations and radio stations and putting our views forward.   We have the privilege of finding stores that cater to our needs and going there, whether it's in our local shopping mall or online from overseas. We have the privilege of networking with other women’s groups and bringing our case of discrimination forward.  We can talk and we can listen.   

What we don’t need to do is to sit still and wait for something to happen.  Because you and I know that just is not the answer. If we don’t stand up for ourselves, then who is going to?  Noone else.  As far as the rest of society is concerned, if we’re not fighting for our rights, then why should they bother even thinking about us?  And they’re right.  It’s up to us.

This started out to be a short post on image and style, and I’ve gone off on a tangent - again.  But let’s hear your comments.   Let your friends know about this blog and ask them to “follow” it.   Write to me, send in your thoughts, and if you’d like to be on our mailing list for RoseMary’s NoteBook©, then we’d be happy to welcome you and your friends.

Let’s keep this truck movin’.

HONESTLY!

Having to do a spot of shopping, a couple of us stopped and enjoyed a cup of tea (Earl Grey of course!) at a nice little coffee/tea shop in one of the arcades that are sprinkled around our small town.

We do this regularly - it not only keeps us up to date with all our gossip, but it also enables us to share a gripe or two, while at the same time indulging in a chosen special cake to accompany our tea. We're all big girls, so there's never any problem of one or two of them attacking any of the others for spoiling ourselves with a cream cake occasionally.

Why was this particular morning any different? I stood at the counter casually deciding which cake to choose, when a very small, smartly dressed woman came and stood beside me. I turned and smiled. She glowered at me and said, "you shouldn't even be thinking of eating anything like that - you're so fat. You should be using your willpower" 

So I did what any well-mannered, well-balanced plus-size lady would do. I looked down at my ample bust, leaned over and looked at my tummy, and turned back to her and said "Yes, you're right, I believe I AM fat. But I'm not rude to people I don't know. And might I say I certainly don't need any will power. Perhaps occasionally a little bit of "won't-power" could come in handy but not today. Which cake do you think I should choose? Ah yes, that beautiful fresh cream French slice. Don't you agree". She glared at me as though I had just flown in from Mars, mumbled and trotted off to a far table.

The rest of my group were seated by this time, waiting for their morning tea to arrive. The girls behind the counter were trying to hide their laughs and were in quite a twitter. After the snobby lady had left, the proprietor came across to me and said, "you know, that woman upsets so many of our customers with her rudeness and we've never been game to say anything. Thanks for saying what we've often thought and felt. You've made our day."
And yes, we all enjoyed our morning tea - VERY MUCH INDEED!!!

A THOUGHT FOR THE DAY ....

What's your Opinion?

I heard on the television morning news a few days ago, that there's a suggestion from Professor David Penington for teachers to add the weight of a child to their report cards in an effort to combat obesity.  Parents, psychologists, and a whole spate of other interested parties are jumping up and down in anger at possible consequences.

Read the link hereunder and see what you think.   Is "naming and shaming" a child going to successfully combat obesity?   Will it even, in the worse scenerio, pit parent against child, each blaming the other because of the child's size?  Will it set in place a dislike even hatred against teachers and education per se?   Will it put teachers at a disadvantage whereby as many have already said "we're there to teach the children, not to put them down because of their weight"?  Will it set in place more opportunities for bullying?  There are countless ramifications when you think about it.

In fact, let us know here at RoseMary's NoteBook© what you think, because this whole subject of categorising children into "fat" or "thin" is bound to reflect on any child's self-esteem and feelings of worth.   Believe me, I'm one of those people who as a child was subjected to this kind of pressure and I know the personal effect on me.  I'm fortunate in that I've been able to work my way through those feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness based on what I was told regarding my size.  Many people can't handle the humiliation and never get over it.   And speaking with hundreds of women over the years, I can speak knowingly of tragic circumstances resulting from inappropriate behaviours, attitudes, comments and actions by those who supposedly were out there to "help the child lose weight" which then became "we'll help you lose weight" (as an adult),  but who did nothing more than erode that person's perception of self.

As many parents have said, bring back sports and physical education into the curriculum;  encourage children of all sizes to be treated with respect and tolerance by each other and to each other; and encourage kids to get outside and play games - preferably with the parents participation.   We all know that parents have time constraints, but having and bringing up kids is an all-round responsibility - we've been there and done that and at times it was difficult, but the effort was worthwhile.  What we've got to do is the right thing by our kids (and grandkids) while at the same time expecting "society" (the media, the health industry, educators etc) to do likewise.

I look forward to your feed-back.

http://theconversation.edu.au/adding-kids-weight-to-report-cards-will-do-more-harm-than-good-for-preventing-obesity-11211

Surprised? Yes. Disappointed? Yes. Hopeful that things will change? Yes.

It takes something really out of the ordinary to make me sit up and want to yell from the rooftops that "this isn't fair".

Mind you, I've been up there (on the rooftop) many times over the years, in an endeavour to get women to recognise inappropriate attitudes (as far as body size and looks are concerned) and to put in place practical and workable solutions that will benefit their own lives, and those of other women in society.  Then something comes along when I listen in astonishment and say how can this be so?

On this morning's news on ABC 24, there was an interview of two  young women - Louise Adams a Body Image Consultant and Kristan Dooley of the Women's Forum Australia.   They spoke about body image in the present day, and more importantly the impact that negative body image is having on our children.

Firstly Kristan Dooley, the MD of Women's Forum Australia, was interviewed about the Lottie doll that is making inroads into the doll market for little girls.  The Lottie doll is a doll that represents a small child, and she even "stands on her own two feet".  She is totally unlike Barbie in her shape and figure and sales of this doll are surprising both retailers and the supplier.  A very positive interview from Kristan and there's no doubt that many parents will be looking for Lottie dolls to give as Christmas presents this year.


"There's a new kid on the block and she's all kinds of cute. Meet Lottie, the wholesome girl-next-door doll, here to destroy the joint with a healthy dose of body image realism.

She doesn't wear make-up, has a waist that won't fit through the eye of a needle, and sports sensible shoes built for jumping in puddles. She even manages to stand on her own two feet.

Barring an exceptionally large head - presumably to house her enormous brain - and Manga-sized eyes, her dimensions are modelled on the average nine-year-old girl's body shape.

Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/national/a-whole-lottie-to-love-about-this-girlnextdoor-doll-20121201-2ao4o.html#ixzz2E3VmbeNt"

Louise Adams then spoke about body image today being a fundamental dislike of body size and shape which is resulting in many eating disorders with countless women and young girls not liking themselves. She then mentioned that although many magazines are no longer photo-shopping the photos of models and women shown within their pages, there is still a lot to be done via the media, magazines and television to promote a healthy and happy philosophy of acceptable. She also mentioned that many women see themselves as objects and they then tend to look at other women as objects - never seeing their own worth nor the worth of other women, regardless of their ages, shape or size.

But this is where it gets scary, and down right frightening.   Children at pre-school at the ages of 3 and 4 are "dieting", or refusing to eat certain foods because they'll get or BE fat.   Where does this body dislike start?  Obviously in the home and through film, television and magazines.

What is happening in a society where little 3 and 4 year olds see that unless they diet, they'll become unacceptable?  

Have we turned away from the need to reinforce feelings of worth into our children and grand-children?  Can we blame current society or is some of the blame our own?   Where have we gone wrong?   What can we do about changing this situation?   Can we do anything?

We've got to talk about this subject.  With each other and to each other.