QUOTE FOR THE DAY

COLOURS AND HOW WE FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES

It’s all got to do with a basic knowledge of what colours suit you and your complexion.  Believe it or not but colours ARE important, not only to how you look but to how you feel.

Let’s face it, with everything that’s going on around us at any time, we need to feel “good” about ourselves.   There’s enough criticism and negativity that is inferred, or said, by others to make us feel less optimistic about ourselves.  That shouldn’t be, and we know we shouldn’t take any notice, but unfortunately there are days when we do.  And we fall in a heap.  We start criticising ourselves.  We vent our anger at ourselves for being too fat, too ungainly, too clumsy, too dull, too boring.  Then we become even more critical on how we dress.

If I turn my thoughts into focussing on “me” all the time, then I lose track of what is important to me, and in my life.  Many women I have spoken and listened to, who have all come to the conclusion that we know what is best for us, agree that when we have basic knowledge of what is good for us, then we can add to it, work on it, and enhance it.  Thus making our lives happier and contented.

When I was younger I wasn’t aware there were most definitely colours that didn’t suit me.  I saw lovely garments in the stores, I went in, tried them on in the store dressing rooms and handed over my hard earned money for them.  Taking them home and hanging them in the wardrobe, it simply didn’t occur to me to ask myself why, after something like 5 years, I had never worn that garment again.  I learned much later it was because the colours did not suit me.  The lighting in the dressing rooms of the stores and my hunger to find something I liked made me lost focus.

That was until I met Susan M of Booragoon, WA.  An Image Consultant par excellence.  Susan took me through the steps of understanding the range of colours and the importance of yellow based and blue based colours.  Now for a long while I couldn’t understand what a “blue based yellow” was, nor a “yellow based blue”.   It took time, and I’m glad it did because now when I see a colour I know immediately what category it falls under.   I’m a “blue based person” so when I go into a store I know exactly what I’m looking for.  My wardrobe is grateful for this knowledge too.

It all comes down to being willing to learn new things about ourselves, and life.

'FAT' PEOPLE

“Fat people are often not good at standing up for themselves and on the odd occasions when they do, they are seen as threatening, someone who is quite literally “throwing their weight around.”  Every comedian has a string of “fat” jokes in his repertoire and all of them are degrading towards fat people.  If a comedian relates a joke or story about a sexy woman, she is usually portrayed as a slim, dumb-blonde type of dolly bird with the obligatory big boobs (R'M NoteBook comment: and that's discriminatory anyway.)   

A fat person is never, ever seen as someone who should be taken seriously, who has an intellect, feelings, or a character of any worth, unless of course, and then only sometimes, the fat person is a man.   A fat man is occasionally allowed to have feelings and a character especially if he is cast in the role of the “heavy he-man” type, or the well-to-do business man.  

Fat women, on the other hand, are either cast as the big fat Momma, brimming over with love and earth-motherliness for her children and family, or she’s the best friend, you know, the one who’s always dragged on every blind date to make up a foursome, much to her unsuspecting blind date’s horror.  If a fat girl should dare to express her sexuality in any way she is dismissed as a tramp, a slag, a slut.”

..... The Sensuous Slimmer Carline Buchanan and Sandra Sedgbeer.  

A LITTLE BEHIND ......?

Hello girl-friends

Seems ages since I put up a post, and I've been gently reminded by many readers that they are suffering "withdrawal" symptoms from not having a regular post to read.   Forgive me everyone, for while I have been very busy, posting should have been the one item highest on my list to-do's and it hasn't been.

Here we are approaching the month of December when thoughts are winging ahead to the preparations for Christmas time.   In the US most of the wonderful larger size suppliers are tempting us with their new season's offerings as well as special sales.

See the Yasmine Dress from Igigi

One thing that sometimes worries or bothers me is that many of the Australian suppliers let their clients as well as themselves down by not ensuring their clothes are modelled on women who understand what modelling is all about.   The second thing is that many of the clothes are not photographed on women of size.  How can a size 10 woman dressed in a size 20 dress look like a woman of size 20 in the same dress?   It comes back to perspectives and it's about time that Australian suppliers looked and seriously thought about their presentations.   I guess the third most obvious thing is that many Australian suppliers don't even use good photographers!

So while I'm in the "whinging" mood, let's think about styles.   I don't mean "style" as in elegance, I mean styles as in shapes and cuts of garments.   I'm not interested in buying something that my grand-daughter wears.  Short tunic tops in absolutely terrible fabrics that are obviously made enmasse overseas. Sleeveless as well!  Yoiks - has anybody recently looked at my upper arms?  Let's get real!  My figure doesn't like wearing something like that.  Yet I still want to look "good", I want to look interesting and I want to feel like a woman!

Let's look at Sybils for instance.  This supplier from Queensland has appeared on this page many times over many years (they were originally called Carousel).   Their models are "real-size" models for the garments they are modelling.  Some of our other suppliers should take note for the simple reason that plus size women (and I do wish I could find a more flattering name for us) no longer are content to see stick models flashing clothes that we want to wear.

So I could go on debating this issue endlessly.  Those of you who have followed my newsletters for more than 23 years now know that I've been on this subject until it bores the pants off me (let alone them)!  But I insist that women of size need to be taken seriously in their needs for flattering clothing.  And I shall go on insisting.

Before I go, here's a Thought for the Day:

"Friendship is so beautiful it can only be touched with your heart."

'til next time  

PUT A SPRING INTO YOUR STEP

It's Springtime in case you haven't yet noticed.   The gardens and the birds and the bees know it, and have been busy doing what they do with great energy and fun.

We seem to be taking a little time getting used to the changes occuring around us.  Firstly "daylight savings" which doesn't seem to make much sense when we think about it, but who are we to say?  The first week has affected many of us with a general feeling of "jet lag" which is crazy taking into account that it's only an hour we're talking about, as far as our clocks are concerned.

Then there's the weather.   One or two days of beautiful sunshine following crisp early mornings, and then we're back into wearing our winter clothes.

But it's about time we put a bit of a spring into our step - and our wardrobe.

I visited a couple of so-called " boutique stores" last week, and was most disappointed at what I saw.  The garments look nice until I got close to them.  The fabric looks, dare I say it,  washed out and gives the impression that it won't last long.  The "Made in China" label gives a clue.   The prices though are distinctly high-class.  

Then I called into Millers, www.millers.com.au and found quite a few little items that will make Spring seem a lot closer to those of us bemoaning the fact we haven't been able to find it!   Even for big girls (of any age!)

Looks like long skirts are back in vogue (we won't mention the young girls who are wearing little mini-shorts that may be four or five inches in length.   Long skirts are definitely flattering for the generously curvaceous woman.    The long line top with a low round neck sets off the skirt nicely.   Add a bangle or two and strappy sandals with peeping toes coloured in your favourite nail polish, and you'll have everyone talking.

Summer/Winter

It's hard to believe that somewhere in the world women are enjoying summer weather.   Even if it is tending towards the start of autumn (fall).    Here in the southern states of Australia, we're having one of the coldest winters on record.   The snowfields are ecstatic with the falls, and even visitors from Canada and the USA are quoted as saying this is one of the best snowfields for 2014.

It's when comparing the garment industry - insofar as trying to find smart winter wear here that is innovative as well as colourful while at the same time eyeing the beautiful summer wear on sale in the US, that we become eager buyers especially when it comes to taking advantage of the many sales over there.  In other words to get ourselves some lovely summer wear in anticipation of our spring/summer seasons.

















It looks as though the pantsuit had returned, as have the maxi dresses.   Which is good for the woman with curves because both these styles suit the gently rounded figure.  Much to the pleasant surprise of those of us with curves!


So here's a selection of maxi dresses, together with a pantsuit that will take you through the balmy afternoons and evenings of the spring/summer weather.   They are all from Igigi.

























As well here's a delightful short skirted dress that will fit in to any occasion.   Dressed up or dressed down all these beautiful dresses say one thing - Big is Beautiful.

REFERENCES TO SIZE IN FICTION

My reading "likes" cover a whole range of genres.   Some of my friends think the list is somewhat weird, but tell me, what or who is weird?

I digress.   Wanting just a bit of light reading the other evening, I picked up "The Walled Flower" by Lorraine Bartlett.   I wasn't expecting to see anything about size, but came across this interesting little paragraph:

It starts:  Bastion nodded toward the hostess standing before them.  "Let's go sit down."

A waiflike being -  with no womanly attributes like breasts or a derriere - led them to a linen-clad table set with sparkling crystal, silver and candlelight.  Upon opening the menu, Katie realised the hostess probably couldn't afford to eat here.  Maybe that's what accounted for her lack of body weight.  Katie put the thought out of her mind as the older, more ample waitress appeared to recite the restaurant's specials and take their drink order.

Copyright:  Beryl Cook from her "Girls Night Out".

Just a few little words, but I couldn't help myself saying YES .......... and punching the air.   Someone has had the audacity to write about how things are, not as fiction writers usually beat around the bush.  They say nothing or else they say something disparagingly.   I like the thought of being served by an "older, more ample waitress".  I feel much more comfortable and at home in a restaurant where the staff are different ages, sizes and shapes.

GETTING REAL!

Someone sent me this fun cartoon.   It certainly made me smile, but it also reminded me that we are living in a society where "perfection" as it applies to the female form, has taken a turning where normal or typical is no longer seen as being totally acceptable.

Today to be "seen" as acceptable a woman has to be:  young - slim (if not skinny); svelte (with no bumps or curves); sexy (what exactly is sexy?) and most importantly young.

How has this come about?   What has changed from the 1950s ,,,,,,?  

A lot happened.  Firstly the 1960s brought about a swing in attitudes - of life as well as behaviours.   The fact that Jean Shrimpton wore a knee length shift (dress) at the Melbourne Cup, WITHOUT a hat or gloves (oh, dear! what was the world coming to?) caused loud headlines in the press.  But that's too easy to say that her decision to wear an outrageous dress - for the era that is - caused the change in attitudes to women's shapes and sizes.  But it certainly was one of the factors that started the ball rolling.

We all shortened our hemlines.  We lowered our necklines.   Everything was free and easy.   But for the plump and curvaceous woman, that was also the start of an inherent and growing animosity towards the way SHE looked.   Size discrimination rose to greater heights and it became apparent in film, television, the media per se.  Women's magazines took on the role of telling their readers to diet, to undergo cosmetic surgery, to attend the latest and very expensive gyms in order to attain the lean, sleak bodies of more naturally slim women.  They didn't tell their readers that it was OK to be a different size or shape and that all sizes could be considered normal or typical.   Manufacturers began to treat the curvaceous woman with scorn and retailers hid clothes for her size in a tiny section at the back of the department store.   It took many years for "plus-size" suppliers to come out of the woodwork.

So that's where the whole thing went haywire.   For all women are NOT fundamentally the same shape or are meant to be the same size.   Women were told they HAD to diet;  they did and many did far more damage to their bodies and minds through yo-yo dieting over decades than they could have imagined.   Somebody forgot to tell them that genes play a bit part in their body makeup (in fact it was only recently that the medical people have acknowledged this to be true - it was argued about heatedly in previous decades.)

What happened next?  Suddenly eating disorders became prominent.   A whole new industry was born whereby people were counselled about disorders in their eating behaviours.  The human body, and mind,  suffered serious consequences.  Not only women but men and children are affected.   In all age groups.

What am I trying to say?   I'm saying it's about time we realised that the world is made up of people who look different, who have differnent shapes and sizes, and we should recognise and respect each other unconditionally.

(I'm not talking here of those who are addicted to non-stop eating, or eating inappropriate foods until they really do become medically and dangerously obese.   Nor am I talking about those people whose bodies react violently to the medications they may be taking.)

Let's join in the protest (albeit quietly but determinedly) 

that ALL women's bodies and shapes should be 

celebrated, no matter what age, size or shape ©.  

Does "aging" mean we must become invisible?

I've been reading a lot lately about mature-aged women feeling "invisible" as the grow older.  Now for a plus-size woman to say this causes a great deal of confusion and conversation!  Dare I say it, it also causes some amusement - even amongst plus-sizers!

An older woman is not expected to dress in the young trendy fashions - if she does she is subjected to a certain degree of ridicule; and yet on the other hand there's not much out there in the marketplace that allows for elegance and style for the growing older woman.

Growing older women (and I'm speaking for the 45 onwards woman) want to be smart in their dress, but unfortunately many of the well-known labels seem to have gone the way of the albatross and either converted to "young" fashion or else closed their doors.

Women in their mid 40s and older don't want to necessarily become part of the "beige" population - they want colour and flair.

It's always encouraging to see women such as Helen Mirren and Dame Quentin Bryce who always make headlines with their fashion-sense.  There's a good reason I have no doubt.  That is they have their clothes "made" for them.   I don't think they just happen to duck into the nearest so-called boutique at their local shopping centre to find something that says "style".

Copyright: http://www.mydaily.co.uk

Dressmakers are hard to find - especially those who will take on projects that include the plus-size woman.   If you know of a local dressmaker then write and let us know so that we can share that information with readers.  We will even draw up a Directory, divided into States - cities, suburbs, rural and country areas.  

IT'S ALL VERY WELL .....

.... being told we should look, dress and be like someone else - notably a celebrity (whatever that really means!)

AGE SIZE and SHAPE do NOT matter in the true scheme of things.

It’s about time we learned to look at ourselves for who we are and what we are.  NOT to concentrate on how old we are; what shape we are and what size we are!

Too mugh time and energy both physical as well as emotional, can be wasted in pursuing “perfection” as it is seen in today’s media and on fashion runways, because whatever we try and however hard we try to do it, we will never fit into the moulds created by photographers (digital mastering) or cosmetic surgeons, because nature and aging will continue along their merry ways.  And we should be both grateful and inspired by that very fact.

In today’s world we need to look at each other, and indeed ourselves, as distinctive, unique and original one-off human beings.  Respect to and for each other as well as respect to and for ourselves, is an essential requirement for our own peace of mind, and self-confidence.

Rosemary

HEARD THE OTHER DAY ......

Black is SO boring, don’t you think?

Well, if you’re talking about the “common-place” corporate wear that women appear to prefer recently, then I agree with you.   It’s like seeing clones walking along the streets at any time of day.  All dressed alike, all in a rush, and all with tired scowling faces.  We know that working women have a lot on their mind, but scowling won’t make it better!  So what is it with working women that they must adhere to a dress code that doesn’t do that much for them?

I’m not suggesting that all business women should take a leaf out of Quentin Bryce’s (our present Governor-General) book, but surely suiting (and corporate women all seem to have taken to the business-suit) can be provided in colours that enhance women’s looks, rather than detract.   As some of my colleagues will say - "you’re being too judgemental - AGAIN”, but I believe professional women particularly can play a big part in allowing femininity to be a part of their dress-code, without having to resort to frills and flounces!   I like the “power-suit” idea.   Colour has the power to draw attention, to demand focus, and to inspire.   It also makes you "feel good about yourself".

But let’s get back to black being boring.  For the every-day women like you and me, that is.   I wear a lot of black and I NEVER find it boring.  I’ve worn it for decades and it has absolutely nothing to do with it being a “slimming” colour.   I don’t quite know where that idea sprung from, because I often wear white too!   When I do I always receive compliments.

Black is a “comfortable” colour.  It’s a colour (and here I’ve jumped in at the deep end because there are those who tell me it’s NOT a colour!), that I find lends itself to almost every occasion.  Especially from the point of view that it can be dressed up or dressed down.   It’s a happy colour if used correctly.    Bringing in contrasts - no more than two at any one time - and you have the makings of an interesting and ever-changing wardrobe.

So here’s an example of a black outfit with a simple accessory of bangles, and I would very much doubt anyone wearing this would NOT receive the highest of compliments and dinner invitations to boot!

IS THIS WHAT WE'VE GOT TO LOOK FORWARD TO?

The "fashion experts" whoever they really are, have come up with some weird predictions over the years.  This New Year there are some "doozies".

If women have nothing better than these forward-thinking suggestions, then perhaps they should take matters into their own hands, and dictate what THEY want, rather than be trundled around with ideas like the above.   Better still - find a good dressmaker and get her on side with working out a basic wardrobe of clothing to suit your life-style.   (All your friends will be SO envious!)

Quite honestly, this particular "forecast" in our leading morning newspaper, is nothing more than a repeat of the past five years, at least.

Maybe I'm too critical, but how feminine are the tight black leather pants (have these been taken from the show "Grease"?) and those darned torn, worn "distressed" jeans!   I'm not usually lost for words, but those type of clothes defy description.   Would someone explain to me why something most people throw out in the garbage seem to end up in the front window of your local boutique at an highly inflated price?

There's another question I'd like to ask.   What has happened to the shape of women's legs?    Are they too spindly now to even hold the body upright in order to balance?  Has womankind undergone some recent mutation in order to be able to be poured into clothes - how do they get out of them?    Models all seem to have become pigeon toed, and women everywhere are imitating them.

I admit I'm skeptical about the abilities of "fashion" people knowing what's good and what's not good, but to ignore the femininity of women which can be expressed through clothing, doesn't auger really well for "fashion for 2014".  Or does it?   Let's have some discussion on this.

As an aside, if this is what the younger-thinking SLIM woman has to choose from this year, then goodness knows what the PLUS-size market will come up with!!!!

DEFYING SOCIETY'S VIEW ON AGING

This is a great video of feisty women of a "certain age" - whatever that age is!

Because whether they (society) want to believe it or not, we have an innate knowledge of what we want and how we want to dress.

Watch this and you'll come away feeling more confident.  Put into practice what these women say about themselves, and you'll feel much happier about yourself and you'll also become healthier.

WAITING UNTIL .....

You've probably heard someone say they'll wait until ....... before they'll do this, that or the other.  In fact if we're honest most of us have said the same thing.  I know I did, especially as it relates to losing weight.   And over the years I've heard thousands of women say the same thing.

"I'll wait until I lose weight .... before I travel overseas",   "..... before I do that course at University",  "..... before I'll buy that gorgeous red taffeta dress"; "....... before I'll start going out";  "...... before I'll find a man who is attracted to me".' "....... before I'll buy a swimsuit";  "...... before I'll join some friends for coffee";  "before I'll have a baby".     And so it goes.

Look at it this way.   Why do we wait?   Why should we wait?   Because if we look at the situation fairly and squarely, we'll see that we're setting ourselves up for a "what if we don't lose the weight" scenerio, and what happens then?  We become embittered and despair of ever being happy.

We go without the things that we would dearly love to achieve in the meantime, and who's to say that the opportunity to do what we wish for will still be there should we happen to lose that weight?   We may be successful in losing the weight and then find to our dismay that we don't or can't do what we dearly wanted.

On the other hand, I say (and OK this has been learned over many decades and through many episodes of self-doubt) go ahead and do these things NOW.   Putting things off never achieved anything really substantial in the long run.   Travel overseas - do that course - buy that dress and swimsuit - go out and meet up with friends - and if you and your partner are determined try for a baby.  And there's no reason why you shouldn't find a man who finds you attractive - it happens all the time - you just don't hear about all the success stories!

Don't put things off.   Too many stories are told of people who missed out on so much just because they put things off "until they lost weight ......".

Losing weight is not the answer to any of our self-doubts;  confidence has to be fought and won by our own determination and strength (with a little help from our friends of course).   Confidence in our self,  our abilities and our potential is not dependent upon our weight (or our losing weight). 

We're intelligent, articulate women.  Yet sometimes we fall into the trap of telling ourselves (over and over again) that it is the weight that holds us back from fulfilling our dreams.  Not so.   It is allowing the negative thoughts to take control and to manipulate our thoughts and emotions that are the trouble - dispense with the negative thoughts and replace them with "I can".   Try it out.  And have fun doing it, without waiting until!

(And if you can't find a red taffeta dress or swimsuit that suits you, then find yourself a dressmaker who will take on the job of making you look stunning.  It will be well worth it.  As far as a flattering swimsuit is concerned, have a look at Monif C's and Igigi's websites in the US - their suits are absolutely incredible!) 

© R P-B, 2013   

SOME COMPARISONS!

Yesterday my post dealt with the latest "fashion" for both the Spring/Summer (Southern Hemisphere) and Autumn/Winter (Northern Hemisphere) with a special focus on the "look" as well as the models displaying the "look".

Now I'd like to present a couple of photos from Igigi.  Do you agree with me that these garments have "style" in that they've been designed for a woman with curves and there's no suggestion of being thrown together hot-potch!

It's nice to see the combination of a base colour with a contrast either in the top or the skirt - the garments enhance special points;  particularly when it comes to the neckline.  Vnecks are always attractive as is the squareline (which isn't used much these days, so it's good to see its return!).

SPEECHLESS!

I couldn't believe my eyes.  Honestly!   For out of the blue, and apparently by popular demand, some of our suppliers are including "distressed" jeans among their collections again.

Now I like fashion, in fact there are times when I really like the latest "trends", but when I see clothing that looks as though it's been pulled out of the rag-bag, then I start wondering what it's all about.

'Cos these garments aren't cheap - in fact they're up there with the expensive prices.   You won't get much change from $100 dollars, and just where can you wear such a garment and think you're looking good?   Or am I biased?   Or too old-fashioned?

(To those people who have experienced economic "recessions" over recent decades and had to make do with old clothes,  they'll be as stunned as I am, because even patches would make these garments look colourful - but then who am I to criticise?)

YOU SHOULDN'T WEAR THAT! OH, NO? JUST WATCH ME ....

My wardrobe is, I suspect, similar to many other plus-size women.  It contains a number of favourite garments as well as ordinary every-day wear.    And I’m not shy in confessing that some of those favourite garments are anything up to 15 years old.  Beautiful fabrics, beautiful classic and sophisticated designs/styling and beautiful to wear.  They’re worn for specific occasions, and they’ve never gone out-of-date.  For the simple reason that I discovered my “style”; and my “colours”, and I have built up a personal knowledge of what I like and what I consider likes me.   

Like most women I like receiving compliments when I know I look good - yes, I’ve become a vain and conceited “growing-older” lady, but I see no reason why if someone compliments me, that I should toss it back in their face, when after all, it makes me feel good and womanly to have received it in the first place.  And that would be absolute rudeness and bad manners, and wouldn’t in any way endear me either to the person who has made the compliment or even myself.  I would be doing myself a dis-service.

You shouldn’t wear that! has to be taken as a grain of salt most times, because it doesn’t apply.  Even if the person saying it is either Susannah, Trinny or that guy Gok.    I’ve taken many notes from the shows of Susannah and Trinny and I’ve read lots of articles by Gok and while I’ve sometimes gained some knowledge worth while,  at other times I’ve shelved what has been said into a filing cabinet in my mind.  For I don’t have to agree with them, every time, about everything.

Mind you I did find Carson Lee Kressley more realistic in his attitudes, his philosophy and his apparent genuine concern to inspire women to open their minds to new ideas.   Of course within his shows there were numerous times when he said you shouldn’t wear that!  And any intelligent viewer could, after he explained why, see his logic and reasoning for making many of those statements.  But we don’t all have the benefit of a personal Fashion Advisor like Carson Lee Kressley to give us advice.   

It’s not only the generously endowed woman who is told she’s wearing the wrong thing either.  Any woman of any age, shape or size can be told she’s wearing something she shouldn’t.

Like being told you shouldn’t have a special little cupcake with your coffee as a sweet indulgence once in a blue moon,  wearing clothes that other people find fault with, is mostly their problem and not yours.

I am constantly inspired by women of size in their understanding of what suits them and what doesn’t.   Not many of these women even ask themselves what they should be wearing - they've already worked it out!  

It comes down to personal taste and when that personal taste is based on pure common sense and practicability as well as affordability, no woman can go wrong.   

The importance is to feel good, and as we know from past experience, if you feel good, then you darn well look good.   It works every time!

'Til next time. 

©2013 R Parry-Brock, Australia 

FLATTERING OFFICE WEAR

For a long time there wasn't much that a plus-size woman could do, to look smart and competitive with other women in the corporate world.   She wore clothes that fitted, but didn't make much of a statement to the world that she was a force to be reckoned with.   That she not only had intelligence but she also had "class".

That is until recent years, when a number of our clothing suppliers realised that corporate wear was yet another expression of how a generously endowed woman could not only take her place in the corporate world but that she could make a difference to how the corporate world saw her as a potential policy maker and trend setter.

Igigi in the USA always comes up trumps when it comes to flattering, stylish and colourful fashion and some of these latest offerings fit the bill for any corporate woman, no matter what age, size or shape.

MAKING AN IMPRESSION - WHY DON'T WE?

Do you shy away from the camera?

I don’t know about you, but I think it’s high time we (the amply endowed women of the world) got out from behind our blinkers and our protective fortresses and tried some new things.

A lot of us haven’t yet come to terms with a camera.  With what a camera sees when it looks at us.  When we see a photograph that’s been taken, our eyes are immediately drawn to:  our double chins; our fat tummy; our drooping boobs;  our hair that could do with a trim;  our face that could probably do with some sort of improvement, and one of our favourite garments that has seen better days.  We look at the photo critically and with no sense of reality.    We’re intimidated with what  we “assume” the camera has seen within and about us.  And we’re uncomfortable!   And the more uncomfortable we get, the more often we’ll refuse to have our photo taken.  

You and I both know of women who have refused to have their photo taken for 20, 30, 40 and more years!   Are you one of them?

Missing out on incredible experiences and in turn memories because we’re scared off by cameras is a great pity.   It’s almost as though we want to be invisible.   There’s certainly a small amount of shame in the decision.  Why?

We’re unique individuals, and we should be proud of who we are, and dare I say it, but we should be proud of what we look like.   We’re all different, but we belong to the family of “women”.  We belong to our own personal family, with all its inherited genes and characteristics, and it’s not only our current families but even those who are to come who will ask about us, and how better to show them than by photographs.  Photographs that show us in our different age seasons.  Photographs that show us in life situations - celebrations, family/friend get-togethers, birthdays, weddings and the like.  Miss the opportunity and they miss out, as well as us.

"STAGGERING LEVELS"

Headlines blazed across the television screen this morning, NUMBER OF "OBESE" AUSTRALIANS REACHES 'STAGGERING LEVELS'

For a woman who wears size 20 clothes (and sometimes I have to buy sizes 24 and 26 even though I don't change shape or weight in order to get something to fit), I have come to the stage where I am no longer willing to be categorized as a burden to Australian society because of my size.

In reading a lot of material about plus-size (much of it from the archives of plus-related books and articles as well as contemporary writings), I've come to realise that in the past as well as the present, we have been given the most humiliating descriptions possible and we've been expected to accept that discrimination without a murmur.

Personally I've been told that:

• if I want to be accepted as an equal in the work-scene I have to lose weight;  
• if I want my views and balanced opinions to be listened to seriously about all manner of issues, then I should lose weight; 
• if I want to be accepted as an intelligent woman ( a lot of plus size women are considered to be dull and not having much sense), then I would have to lose weight;
• if I want to be accepted as a patient in many small as well as major hospitals then I would have to lose weight;
• if I want to be treated respectfully at many restaurants around the country and to be seated comfortably at one of their tables, then there was an inference that I should lose some weight - ("we can't provide chairs for people who aren't standard size" I've been told more than once).  Just exactly what do they mean by "standard size"? - should everyone be identical in height, width, shape, size and looks, so that we are "standard'?)
• if I want a reasonable range of clothing to choose from then it would be preferable to be a few sizes less

and the list goes on.

It's when the health industry publicly gets vocal in their non-acceptance of us that things start to turn nasty. For the media is always eager to sensationalise reality and they grab hold of what the health industry state, and we become the agents for not only discrimination but ridicule.   The health industry has the ability and the opportunity to improve our lives by seeing us as we are, and then working with us to assist us to become more healthy.  Working with us means NOT to insist that we lose weight by outrageous diets or disfiguring and dangerous surgery.  Too many studies have been carried out that now claim it is not necessary to be thin to be healthy.  We get blamed for being who we are when if the health and fitness industry looked deeper into the question, they have it within their means to enhance our lives as they are right now.

So the health industry reminds us that we are fat and overweight and then the media takes up the message and emblazons the television screens, the national magazines and even the newspapers with reports and photographs that do nothing to assist in our self-esteem.

Because that's where the whole subject loses its way.  If society and this includes the media and the health industry, were to readily accept the plus-size woman and encourage her to make the very best of what she has, then she would become healthier and happier.  And with that her self-esteem would rise.

It's self-esteem that we have to aim for, first and foremost.   

©  Rose Davida