Most teenagers/young women of today appear to have an over abundance of confidence. They will take up all sorts of pursuits and set what seem to a lot of us, impossible goals. In fact sometimes it seems as though younger women race towards their goals without much thought as to what they will do should they fall flat on their faces. It's not unusual to hear young women say that they never give failure a thought. Their attitude at times seems to be over-confident. The majority of us however encourage them.
That's not to say that women at all times have not set themselves goals that are achievable as well as those which required their persistence and dedication in achieving, even when it meant sacrificing a lot of things. For instance, many women have forsaken marriage and/or starting a family for years, in order to attain a "career". That career may bring with it great rewards - financial and psychological.
Women have made incredible strides in becoming more independent over the past thirty years. Of course there have always been women who have been pioneers and liberated and have overcome great obstacles to be educated and acknowledged as top of their profession - i.e. doctors, bankers, scientists, lawyers, corporate managers, politicians. But too often reaching these heights has "cost" them in more ways than one.
In the pursuit of "equality" in the workplace, women have had to prove themselves not only
as good as but
but better than in too many ways. Unfortunately when this has occurred the weight of public opinion has been against them for wanting to prove their superiority! Too often from other women.
And in the journey, women themselves have overlooked the sacrifices that women in earlier decades have made. When talking with young women in their 20s and 30s, it comes as a great surprise to them to learn that thirty years ago:
(a) women who were employed by the Public Service had their employment terminated when they married (the official policy of the day). Even in private enterprise, asking for a "raise" in their wages was unheard of. There was no such thing as Work-Choices, or collective bargaining.
(b) women who had babies did
not have social welfare payments - there was no such thing. Other than "child endowment" which amounted to a few shillings (or dollars) bringing up a baby (or babies) was seen to be the sole duty of a mother. If the women was not married or if the father refused to marry her, most times she had to rely on her mother or other relations to help in bringing up the child/children.
(c) there were no creches or daycare centres available to the majority of women. There were no kindergartens as such. Occasionally a woman in the same suburb would open her home to looking after three or four children, for a fee. One had to trust their baby sometimes to a complete stranger, hoping that that baby was being looked after. Supervision was left entirely in the hands of the person looking after the children, and there were no audits by government bodies or legislation to cover the safety and health aspect.
(d) women were NOT allowed to join superannuation funds. It was unheard of, and if a woman had the audacity to request her inclusion, she would have been laughed at.
(d) women were NOT permitted to take out bank loans. In fact as far as banking and financial aspects of a woman's life, she had to have a "male" sponsor or guarantor willing to stand for her. If she had no husband, then it was very difficult to find anyone who would stand guarantor.
(e) women did not own their own homes therefore - based on (d) above. Women did not own their own motor vehicles. Very seldom indeed did women own property.
(f) women were considered to be chattels of their husband. They had very few rights - in the home, or the workplace.
(g) most employment opportunities were in factories - processing, manufacturing, the car industry, backyard sewing rooms etc; shop assistants - mostly shops such as grocers, greengrocers, fish and chip shops, very seldom "higher" grade retail positions such as a salesgirl in Myer or David Jones; theatre girls selling programmes; hair dressers, etc.
(h) it was very seldom that a woman initiated a divorce. To do so was to place herself in an extremely vulnerable position and public scrutiny. She was usually seen as being the guilty one regardless of the reason for the divorc. She would have to prove her need to rely on social welfare - which was a pittance, and she underwent repeated investigations into her private life as it related to her private income. That private income was usually zero. She could very easily fall through the gaps of social interest and concern, and become destitute.
When young women and older women have the opportunity to share this sort of information, it is very surprising to observe the way younger women view what they hear. Too often it is utter disbelief. Sometimes it is seen as an exaggeration. Seldom is it seen as being the truth, and therefore not often is a special understanding arrived at, of what women in general, but particularly their mothers and grandmothers, have gone without and fought for.
So it's not surprising in having to realise that women as they grow older lose a lot of confidence. They've always had to struggle against the tide, but they seek and need support and empathy from younger women, not only for personal and physical encouragement, but moreso for moral support.
In many cultures this moral support is part of the cultural makeup of women within that society. In the western world this need is sometimes neglected to such an extent that it doesn't exist.
The 21st Century woman encompasses a diverse and incredibly valuable circle of intelligence, information and experience. The more we share that with each other, the more confidence we each shall possess.
