Sunday, November 20, 2011

As Women We Need To .......

In fact as plus-size women we definitely need to .....


There have been, and probably will be, lots of books written about women who feel insecure about themselves.  Their looks, their inadaquacies, their lack of sophistication (truly though we use that word indiscriminately - just look it up in the dictionary/thesaurus to see what I mean); their failure at their work and their big-time failure at finding someome who loves them - just as they are!  NOT when they lose 40 kg; not when they have botox treatments;  not when they have liposuction;  not when they diet themselves to death.  Just as they are - right now in real time.

So I bought this little book at a White Elephant sale for 5 cents.   I have to admit that I bought it only because the author's name seemed familiar - and then I realised that she often is part of the "Grumpy Old Women" group in the BBC series - Arabella Weir.   She has an infectious sense of humour.  I decided 5 cents was OK, because after reading it I could just give it in to an Op Shop for on-selling.  *  Let me say here and now, this book remains on my book shelves - it's worth it's weight in gold - literally!  And it's one of those books that I consistently go back to - to have a laugh, and to learn how to like myself all over again.

And boy does Arabella Weir have it spot-on when it comes to describing how we often feel about ourselves - as full-blown losers!  Losers in all respects, except weight (but then we're risen about that - we've come to the wonderful conclusion that we're OK as we are - what a liberating feeling.)

This book, "Does My Bum Look Big in This?" is hilarious.  It's tear jerking hilarious because it's so US!  It's so heart-breakingly glaringly truthful and it's a book that I felt personally, didn't focus on my insecurity - it actually lifted my feelings of self worth.  Because I see life as it is - there are so many misconceptions - even by ourselves about ourselves.    The words she uses come from my heart and your heart and this woman has touched the very spirit of our femininity (albeit plus size femininity).

Read this passage and see if you agree.  Don't be surprised if I quote a few passages from this book over time because I know they'll do me a lot of good, and I hope they will you too.  So here goes:

"Went to the sales, gave up after two shops.  Everywhere I went I knew the assistants were thinking, "Oh, please, why are you bothering to spend your money on clothes; tents from Millets would be more suitable".

"Six Ryvitas, half a teaspoon of no-fat, no-flavour cottage cheese and two wrinkled tangerines since Saturday and several gallons of that Chinese macrobiotic tea.  It tastes a lot like lavatory cleaner with old coins soaked in it - must be really good for you.  Feel great.  

Same day, 2.a.m.   I'm now lying in bed, can't face my usual midde-of-the-night weigh in, I just know I've put on at least half a pound.  The bus conductor's going to notice and give me a pitying look, sort of saying, Well, hello, Miss Piggy, how do you expect to get a seat on the bus with that fat arse?"  It's one of those pay-as-you-enter buses but all the same he's definitely going to be thinking that as he looks at me in his rear-view mirror.

Decided to weigh myself after all - and thanks a lot - weighed another pound.  Went back to bed.  No point going to work if everyone is going to laugh at me."

Now tell me truly, have you ever felt like that?  I know I have and there is a way out of this trap of body hatred.  It's well worth pursuing and it all starts with you and me.  Healthy self-talk is a great first step.

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