Boxing Day

A leading psychologist on television the other day was saying that Christmas time seems to be a time when family stresses and disagreements come to the surface.   Many people no longer get together on Christmas Day for that reason.  In fact many families totally ignore one or more members of their family for that same reason.  Which is a shame, because surely we could find it possible to be considerate and respectful to each other (even if we don't see eye to eye on many things) just for one day of the year?  

However, I love Boxing Day because it's almost as though there is no pressure to be anything but relaxed.   My "adopted" family joined me and my friend for lunch on Boxing Day this year.  What a totally enjoyable couple of hours spent in the freedom of being who we are and able to be ourselves.  Not to mention lots of laughter and fun conversations accompanied by a lovely meal.

Happiness can come in large or small doses.   I count that occasion as a dose of happiness that I shall remember for a long time.

There are friends, and then there are "friends".   Boxing Day 2012 I have been blessed with a special affection from a couple who I deem to be "family", and I am so grateful for their love.

Choosing something special for the New Year

SANCTUARIE DESIGNS

 If you missed out on buing something special for yourself prior to New Year, then don't waste time - get in and order now so that you'll be the best dressed for any occasion in 2013.

These are beautiful garments.   Santuaries whole range is beautiful.   See for yourself by visiting their website.

But first, let's look at this scrumptious 2 piece set.    Look at the sizes available!  Up to 8X. 

NEW! Beautiful Customizable Sheer 2pc Blouse Set or 1pc Swimsuit Coverup! - Many Colors & Prints in Plus Size & Supersize 0x 1x 2x 3x 4x 5x 6x 7x 8x


This is a fabulous blouse, available in sizes Lg up to 8x. The overblouse is sheer, and can be worn over a swimsuit, a dress, or even as a neglige'. It ties in the front, has long sheer sleeves with small bell, and the bottom is a very flattering handkerchief style. This is great for our lovely pears out there, the hips swing out appx 15"-20" from the chest. There is also an option to get a pretty tank top to go underneath, adorned in white sequins, or plain. The undershirt is a stretchy poly/lycra blend, and the overshirt is a non-stretchy or semi-stretchy poly blend. Both are machine washable, and made in the USA.

Appx Measurements:
Lg: Chest:36" - Hips (appx):50"
XL: Chest:40" - Hips (appx):54"
0x: Chest:44" - Hips (appx):58"
1x: Chest:48" - Hips (appx):62"
2x: Chest:52" - Hips (appx):66"
3x: Chest:56" - Hips (appx):70"
4x: Chest:60" - Hips (appx):74"
5x: Chest:64" - Hips (appx):78"
6x: Chest:68" - Hips (appx):82"
7x: Chest:72" - Hips (appx):86"
8x: Chest:76" - Hips (appx):90"

** Measurements are always taken unstretched **

It's almost Christmas!

To everyone:

May your Christmas be safe, happy and blessed.    May your Christmas Day be filled with much love, laughter and happy times with loved ones - be they family or friends.

Beautiful greeting!

With acknowledgement to Alexander McCall Smith:  this is a greeting that he used to close off his December newsletter and I want to share it with you.

Soave sia il vento - 

may the breeze that carries you

on your journey be a gentle one.

Pain - and - hurt

The first step in not hurting others

 is to stop hurting yourself.

Don't put life on hold, or wait until ........

We human beings are simply amazing.   Think about it - even if we are hindered by constraints, we can become the person we were meant to be, simply by believing and doing what we can to make that possible.   We can go anywhere we want - even if it is sitting in an armchair watching a travel documentary.   We can be a friend to someone we have yet to meet as well as caring and giving to those we have the privilege of knowing and calling our "friends".   We can receive love, and we can give love.  Unconditionally.

So it saddens me somewhat when I hear women say to me, "I don't know how to be happy."  Are they really speaking about happiness which is, after all, very difficult to describe and may only be fleeting, or do they mean a feeling of complete confidence in themselves and their lives (whatever circumstances they may find themselves in) which is often translated as "joy"?  I ask because I speak from personal experience in that I have known times and moments of happiness, which is not a state of permanence, whereas inner joy is.

Now, both you and I know there many things that occur in our lives that can burden us; that can inhibit us; that can hold us back; and that can limit our feelings of adequacy and worth.   Those of us who have managed to work through some (or even all) of those feelings know what it's like.   And the best advice we can give to those who are still endeavouring to "discover" themselves?  

1. To live in the NOW, and 
2.  LOVE yourself (in order that you may be able to love others, unconditionally), and
3.  LAUGH as often as you can, and as often as you like.   (Isn't there an old saying, that "laughter is the best medicine"?)
4.  Surround yourself with beautiful things (and beautiful people - and we're ALL beautiful, you know) as well as lovely music.

Give yourself constant healthy and happy self-talk.   Read "positive" publications that reinforce your feelings of self-worth.  As often as possible.   Discard thoughts of not being good enough;  "you're not worth it";  "you'll never succeed";  "you're a waste of space" and similar comments made to us by ourselves and people who should be encouragers but who gain some delight in putting us down all the time.   Seriously think about those people and whether you shouldn't perhaps have less to do with them - even if they are family members - because no matter how much you adapt to meet their expectations and demands, you'll never meet their unrealistic ideals. And why should you bother?   Much better to set your own personal goals, and as you reach each of those goals, to set your sights higher and wider - for your own personal achievement and satisfaction, not for theirs.

Don't have regrets - all of us have disappointments, but there's no need to dwell on them.   They are a part of life, and life is to be lived to the fullest.   Life, love and laughter is what it's all about.  Here and now!

 “Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. 

We have only today. Let us begin.” 

― Mother Teresa

“When you arise in the morning 

think of what a privilege it is

 to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love ...” 

― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

LOVE, without ATTACHMENT!

A lot of my friends (and even casual acquaintances) tell me that even though they surround themselves with lots of "positive" messages about self-acceptance, and plenty of healthy self-talk, there are times when they feel "out of place" and not quite sure of themselves, especially when it concerns relationships.

This is a favourite piece I have repeated and reproduced over many years through my newsletters and small booklets. I hope you will find it encouraging in your personal life.

Love without attachment!

After a while you learn the subtle difference

between holding a hand and chaining a soul

And you learn that love does not mean leaning, 

and company does not mean security

And you begin to learn that kisses are not contracts

and presents are not promises

And you begin to accept rejection

with your head up and your eyes clear

with the grace of an adult,

not the heartache of a child

And you learn to build you life on NOW

because tomorrow is too uncertain

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much

Plant your own garden and decorate your soul

instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers

After a while you learn that you really have infinite worth.

...... Author unknown

What's your Opinion?

I heard on the television morning news a few days ago, that there's a suggestion from Professor David Penington for teachers to add the weight of a child to their report cards in an effort to combat obesity.  Parents, psychologists, and a whole spate of other interested parties are jumping up and down in anger at possible consequences.

Read the link hereunder and see what you think.   Is "naming and shaming" a child going to successfully combat obesity?   Will it even, in the worse scenerio, pit parent against child, each blaming the other because of the child's size?  Will it set in place a dislike even hatred against teachers and education per se?   Will it put teachers at a disadvantage whereby as many have already said "we're there to teach the children, not to put them down because of their weight"?  Will it set in place more opportunities for bullying?  There are countless ramifications when you think about it.

In fact, let us know here at RoseMary's NoteBook© what you think, because this whole subject of categorising children into "fat" or "thin" is bound to reflect on any child's self-esteem and feelings of worth.   Believe me, I'm one of those people who as a child was subjected to this kind of pressure and I know the personal effect on me.  I'm fortunate in that I've been able to work my way through those feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness based on what I was told regarding my size.  Many people can't handle the humiliation and never get over it.   And speaking with hundreds of women over the years, I can speak knowingly of tragic circumstances resulting from inappropriate behaviours, attitudes, comments and actions by those who supposedly were out there to "help the child lose weight" which then became "we'll help you lose weight" (as an adult),  but who did nothing more than erode that person's perception of self.

As many parents have said, bring back sports and physical education into the curriculum;  encourage children of all sizes to be treated with respect and tolerance by each other and to each other; and encourage kids to get outside and play games - preferably with the parents participation.   We all know that parents have time constraints, but having and bringing up kids is an all-round responsibility - we've been there and done that and at times it was difficult, but the effort was worthwhile.  What we've got to do is the right thing by our kids (and grandkids) while at the same time expecting "society" (the media, the health industry, educators etc) to do likewise.

I look forward to your feed-back.

http://theconversation.edu.au/adding-kids-weight-to-report-cards-will-do-more-harm-than-good-for-preventing-obesity-11211

Getting ready for Christmas!

There always seems to be a rush almost at the last moment for a girl to buy her "must-have" dress for a special Christmas festive occasion.   For the plus-size girl, even though she may spend lots of time looking at stores in all the local shopping malls (and even those in other parts of the city), she may find disappointment and frustration at the lack of something really out of the box.

There's still time though if you're quick to be able to take advantage of the simply beautiful dresses from
Igigi (USA).

The Antoinette Plus Size Gown in Copper is one such dress.

I'm wondering whether Copper is the colour for this season?  (No matter that we here in Oz are in Summer while the USA is heading into Winter - we can always adapt.  But only if those colours are made available here - too often we have to wait for another two seasons before we get the opportunity of being in sync, and then of course we lose out because we're always "following" the leader!)

But here's the blurb from Igigi's website for this magnificent dress:

Make a jaw dropping entrance in this glamorous blend of vintage style and contemporary design. Its pleated cascading skirt elongates the silhouette while it's removable beaded belt cinches and defines your waistline. Pair with sparkly heels and a classic clutch.

Designed and made in San Francisco, USA

Color: Copper

Material: Poly/Elastane

Care: Dry Clean Only. Belt - Spot Clean Only

Our sizes tend to run larger. For perfect fit, please consult with the size charts.

Model Info: Wearing Size 14/16, Height - 5'9", Shape - Hourglass.

Surprised? Yes. Disappointed? Yes. Hopeful that things will change? Yes.

It takes something really out of the ordinary to make me sit up and want to yell from the rooftops that "this isn't fair".

Mind you, I've been up there (on the rooftop) many times over the years, in an endeavour to get women to recognise inappropriate attitudes (as far as body size and looks are concerned) and to put in place practical and workable solutions that will benefit their own lives, and those of other women in society.  Then something comes along when I listen in astonishment and say how can this be so?

On this morning's news on ABC 24, there was an interview of two  young women - Louise Adams a Body Image Consultant and Kristan Dooley of the Women's Forum Australia.   They spoke about body image in the present day, and more importantly the impact that negative body image is having on our children.

Firstly Kristan Dooley, the MD of Women's Forum Australia, was interviewed about the Lottie doll that is making inroads into the doll market for little girls.  The Lottie doll is a doll that represents a small child, and she even "stands on her own two feet".  She is totally unlike Barbie in her shape and figure and sales of this doll are surprising both retailers and the supplier.  A very positive interview from Kristan and there's no doubt that many parents will be looking for Lottie dolls to give as Christmas presents this year.


"There's a new kid on the block and she's all kinds of cute. Meet Lottie, the wholesome girl-next-door doll, here to destroy the joint with a healthy dose of body image realism.

She doesn't wear make-up, has a waist that won't fit through the eye of a needle, and sports sensible shoes built for jumping in puddles. She even manages to stand on her own two feet.

Barring an exceptionally large head - presumably to house her enormous brain - and Manga-sized eyes, her dimensions are modelled on the average nine-year-old girl's body shape.

Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/national/a-whole-lottie-to-love-about-this-girlnextdoor-doll-20121201-2ao4o.html#ixzz2E3VmbeNt"

Louise Adams then spoke about body image today being a fundamental dislike of body size and shape which is resulting in many eating disorders with countless women and young girls not liking themselves. She then mentioned that although many magazines are no longer photo-shopping the photos of models and women shown within their pages, there is still a lot to be done via the media, magazines and television to promote a healthy and happy philosophy of acceptable. She also mentioned that many women see themselves as objects and they then tend to look at other women as objects - never seeing their own worth nor the worth of other women, regardless of their ages, shape or size.

But this is where it gets scary, and down right frightening.   Children at pre-school at the ages of 3 and 4 are "dieting", or refusing to eat certain foods because they'll get or BE fat.   Where does this body dislike start?  Obviously in the home and through film, television and magazines.

What is happening in a society where little 3 and 4 year olds see that unless they diet, they'll become unacceptable?  

Have we turned away from the need to reinforce feelings of worth into our children and grand-children?  Can we blame current society or is some of the blame our own?   Where have we gone wrong?   What can we do about changing this situation?   Can we do anything?

We've got to talk about this subject.  With each other and to each other.

HAS "CASUAL" TAKEN OVER OUR LIVES?

I like to think I’m “modern” in my thinking and approach to life in today’s society.   As far as “fashion” or clothing is concerned, I convince myself that I have a fully rounded and balanced viewpoint.  Personally I enjoy being and dressing casually as the mood takes me; there are times though when I like to dress a little “smarter” than casual.  Even if my clothes are not expensive or seen to fall inside the perception of being 21st century, I do still “feel” good when I dress up.  To keep within my strict budget also gives me a challenge which I enjoy meeting time after time.

With a major move from a large home to much smaller accommodation, my circumstances have changed over the past week or so.  Being a woman growing older (and I suppose a man faces similar options) this means learning to adapt and to put into place new ways of handling those changes.  The important part of dealing with changes of any kind that face us, is in maintaining and retaining dignity and control (as much as possible) within constraints both self-imposed and imposed by others.

Walking down the street or through some of the major shopping malls, it is quite obvious to an observer than there are now two categories of women’s code of dress.  Three if you count the window displays of our clothing stores - yet no matter how hard I look I never see anyone dressed in those clothes from the store windows.  Do women buy them and then hide them in their wardrobes, only to be bought out to be admired by themselves and friends, or do they actually wear them?  When and where do they wear them?

So to get back to the two codes of dress, as far as I see them today.   First there is the casual casual, which unfortunately could be described as frumpy and so uninteresting as to make the person almost seem invisible.  Then there’s the person who seems to have a wardrobe of jeans and tee shirts and she never veers away from that code.  I wonder how women in this category deal with the thought of being invited to a mayoral ball or a Melbourne Cup Lunch!   They probably panic.

And women of substance, or women of a certain age, what do they do?  Let me say here that I can’t understand those descriptions, although I admit I use them.  The English language had an incredible resource of descriptive power, but when it comes to women of size and growing older, for some reason it’s much easier for society to say “obese or fat” or “she’s old so why does she bother?”  Why have we taken on these definitions?  Because we’ve been forced to in many instances.  But times they are a’changing, girls.

We “bother” because there’s an inbuilt pride in our nature and we don’t want to be categorised as being the same as everybody else.  We’re women, we’re feminine and we care - we honestly care - about how we dress, how we look and how we feel about ourselves.  We’ve gone through all the stages of being unsure of ourselves, feeling guilty about our size; frustrated at having to explain to all and sundry that we’re just different to the size 6 girl on the catwalk (besides, we’ve got a lot more knowledge and experience to back up our feelings of confidence). and we want to be allowed to be ourselves and to express ourselves the way we know best.

We do know best, you know.  That comes of always learning, always searching for ways of building upon our self esteem, through education and personal knowledge.  Most women “of a certain age” can’t be persuaded that they’ve got to change; that they’ve got to get “with it”, that they have to admit to being old-fashioned in their ideas.  Younger women have every right to express their views on how they dress and how they live their lives, yet the older woman has to justify her opinions about self and life-style.  Why?

My question in the title of this post is “Has “casual” taken over our lives?‘   And I’m beginning to think that it’s about time that the growing older woman in today’s society should stand up and be counted.  She has every right to be recognised and accepted and in fact applauded when she steps outside of the jeans and tee shirts syndrome and embraces her own femininity the way she wants.  Yet if that includes wearing jeans and tee shirts, then so be it.  But, and this is a big but, if she wishes to dress livelier, bolder, sassier and jazzier than jeans and tee shirts, let her.  Compliment her, see her for being proud of who and what she is.  Younger women will see that growing older holds exciting challenges in store for them, in that they will (hopefully) be more fair minded and open to the fact that women are able to enjoy their lives by making conscious decisions based on their own personal preferences through all stages of their maturity.  We don’t have to follow trends that we are told we should follow at EVERY stage of our adult lives; we know best.

As I have quoted so often over the years, 

“you are your own best asset - promote yourself,

 and NEVER, EVER compare yourself to someone else.  

You are unique.”

Discovering your individuality

Have you actually looked for it?  

Have you ever wondered why it is that curvaceous women tend to attempt to hide themselves in dull, almost boring clothes.  Is it that they think they’ll become invisible to such an extent that other people won’t look at them, point the finger, and even tell them to their face, you’re “fat”? 

This is not something in my imagination, because I can admit freely now, that there were many times in the past when I did precisely that; I hid myself in clothes that were so unflattering as to be ugly.   And why was that?  To hide - from the world and to hide from other people. 

I’ll say this.  When a person is ridiculed or ostracised by another person - male or female - for being fat or “out of control”, it doesn’t take long to lose whatever self esteem you may have ever had.  When you hear these things being said about you to others and even to your face, as a child, then it isn’t strange that you have no self esteem at all!   As you grow up and become an adult you cringe when you have to go out and about and mix with people - even shopping.  You’d do anything to hide in the house and not have to face other people who you just KNOW will say something hurtful and condemning.  And that’s exactly what you will do.  I know.  I even wrote about this in my little book, “Rose in Bloom - the years between!”,  based on some of my personal experiences merged with a montage of stories from other women I have had the privilege of speaking with, knowing, and then loving as personal and dear friends over the years.

It took many years of searching, sometimes fearing what I might actually find within myself, to come to terms with who I am and what I am.  But one day, I remember it so well, I set out for business and was driving to work, when out of the blue came a little voice in my head that told me I could go crazy if I kept trying to change myself just to fit in with what other people said I should be and look like.  By that time of course I had almost turned myself inside out.  But it was a defining and enlightening moment, for I realised right there and then that whatever anyone else said about me, I was mature and intelligent enough to make my own decisions.   From that moment that’s just what I did.  And my life has been so much richer and exciting for it.

It was about this time too, that I changed life-tactics.  I studied and read as much as I could on good dress sense - utilising style, colours and experimentation.  I asked my friend Susan to show me how to colour code my clothing.  I sought advice on makeup and hair styles.  In fact I set about to enhance what I am, rather than to foolishly try to follow the path, which is a trap to change what I am.

I’ve gained insights into how other women feel about themselves during the years between too.  For I’ve had the opportunity of speaking with hundreds of women, and one thing is clear to me.

Everyone, 

at some time 

or another has

low self-esteem.

It doesn’t matter whether you are slim, 

whether you are fat, 

whether you are coloured

 or whether you are white.

Given that I found my voice to speak and share with other women my own personal journey, it was a natural progression for me to talk with them about discovering their “inner spirit of individuality”.

Because it’s not necessary or essential (in fact it is not recommended at all) for us to all look alike.  It’s not necessary or essential for us to wear the same clothes, or do our hair the same way, or have the same interests.As I’ve said so many times, yes, we are different to each other, but we are of the same essence.   We all seek, or long,  to be accepted, we seek to be liked and we seek to be loved.  We seek to “belong”.  We also seek to be able to freely express our personal individuality without condemnation or judgement by or from others.  We seek to be allowed to be us.   And if we achieve these things, then we are  equipped to offer our encouragement to or sisters, whatever shape, size or colour they may be, so that they, in turn, may achieve their personal yearnings and discover their “inner spiritual individuality”.  

SMART OFFICE WEAR

Just because we happen to be plus-size (not necessarily as “seen” by ourselves but most certainly by others) too often we are also seen to be pretentious or snobbish if we dare to dress according to style and in many cases, OUR choices.

Take for instance office wear.  There is a fierce debate on what is today’s corporate wear.  There are those who stridently and extremely loudly at that, claim the right to dress as they please - scruffy jeans tired and worn tee shirts and stiletto heels that badly neet a repair job.  On the other side of the coin are those who see corporate wear as an expression of their own personal “professionalism”.  Many plus-size career women fall into this second category.

Frequently, the plus-size carer women is seen to be trying to imitate the young corporates.   This is an unfair assumption as quite often she is only young herself, but somehow “size” is an issue with many employers and colleagues and they get the whole picture distorted by assuming that the plus size woman is older than she really is.   This is quite ridiculous but it happened to me too often for me not to accept this as a common occurance.  It’s only as I’ve grown older that people now submit the opinion but you look younger now than when I first met you 20 years ago.  All I’ve done is grown older, as indeed have they, but let me say this (with a smile), I have far fewer wrinkles than they have!

Quite apart from the “age” factor, plus-size career women are at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to attractive corporate wear.  This has been a bone of contention with me for many decades, although Maggi T and many of my favourite American suppliers and a few from Europe, occasionally come out with separates that can be combined to make up nice outfits.

Often, not being able to buy business-suits (whether with pants or skirts) presents the plus size woman with a problem.  However one way out of this is to utilise what is available in the stores.

Here’s where basic colours can come into their own.  Choosing a basic colour and then building upon it can open up all sorts of pleasing looks.  Even though Black,which remains the new black whatever that means - what a funny way to describe it!, is the most popular basic - grey, navy blue and chocolate come in as popular alternatives.  Of course denim blue (not always in denim) remains popular with the younger set.  I’m not a great lover of beige myself, but for some women they can look great in it.  It’s not MY colour, whereas white is!  And I’ve been known to wear white on many occasions at corporate affairs or in my own personal choice for day/evening wear.

It’s when we come to accessories that magical changes can be performed to our wardrobe, and might I suggest that you open your minds to your definition of accessories  I’ll explain a little later.

Well designed, well cut and well sewn pants re a must for every girls wardrobe.  Slimming lines from the thighs to the ankles will help make you look taller, and will certainly give you a nicer profile in the mirror.  Well designed, well cut and well sewn jackets or suit coats at the length your prefer - I personally go for either hip length or even longer as I frequently wear my jackets or coats unbuttoned and allowed to float - in the same fabric as the pant will create an outfit that you can wear on all occasions.

Given a third piece, perhaps a long-line pencil skirt (which seems to remain a popular choice) then you have a mix-n-match outfit that can take you from corporate office, to exeutive meeting, to socialising in the evening.

It’s what you wear with your outfit that can make a difference.  I don’t believe those who tell me I shouldn’t wear ruffles on my shirts - either at the throatline or down th two front sides.  I love feminine clothes and I believe the plus-size woman should be encuraged to think of herself as a feminine person, rather than just a “plus-sized” woman.  I love chiffon and silk scarves - my collection has far exceeded the space I gave for it in my wardrobe and now it has its own special chest.  If you don’t care to wear scarves arund your neck, or your shoulders, or pinned on one shoulder and allowed to flow down, then why not consider tucking one into a pocket in your jacket or coat.  Another well-worn idea but still popular is to tie one through the handles of your favourite handbag.  Spoiling yourself with a small collection of handbags is also another idea!  We don't touch the subject of shoes, because it seems collecting shoes is a common fad.

Brooches are still “in” (whatever some of the so-called trend fashion commentators say), and I believe the bigger the better!  Costume jewellery pieces, which always sit on the buxom bosom beautifully, soften the neckline especially if you’re “bold” enough to show a little of your decollegé.

Consider some of those things we don’t always think of as accessories.  Take hair for instance.  So many plus-size women have lovely long hair, or haven’t you noticed?  They often wear it in a pony tail or loose.  But take time and sweep it up, o be held in place with some of those lovely sequinned clasps and you’ll be the talk of the town for those evening courses or meetings!  Your face will be defined and allowed to glow in its beauty. Young women (and many women in their 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond) do invest in wigs these days - and you thought they'd gone out with button-up boots? Quite a few though don't admit to owning one or even two, until someone - even in their family or close friends, notice something a bit different between a hair style one day from another.  It's all good fun.

You’re perhaps not feeling brave enough because you haven’t mastered make-up?  Take your courage in both hands and visit a Beauty counter at one of the major stores, or visit Body Shop and ask them to take you through the steps of choosig and applying the right make FOR YOU.   You’ll be thrilled with the experience.  And don't be put off by the fact that the staff in these stores are young (and probably thin and very attractive - that's why they're employed!), but I've found them to be very knowledgeable, and very willing to share that knowledge with you as a client.  And you don't have to buy any of their products (unless you want to), because it's the skill you're after in the first place.

Don’t leave all the laces and baubles, bangles and beads to the "beautiful young slim people”.  We deserve to enjoy the same fruits of indulgences as our younger and slimmer sisters.  I love bangles and I love the sounds they make as I move my hands.  

For a nice selection of conservative corporate wear, visit this website of Corporate Uniforms of Dandenong (Victoria, Australia).  Many of these specials I see go up to a size 20 and some even to 26.  

http://www.corporateuniformsdandenong.com.au/clearance_&_specials.html

The human heart, at whatever age

opens only to the heart that opens in return.

Aussie Self Acceptance©

we can achieve what we want, 

gently, 

by relying on our 

womanly wiles, wit and wisdom!

The big women of Oz (and the world) believe it's time all BIG women should combine their collective needs and wish-lists with which to present to people in all areas of society, including designers, manufacturers and retailers and especially the media.

These needs and wish-lists must also include submissions to professional people  - medical, health and fitness, hospitality, and education.  Not to mention transport.

It's not only wanting to be able to buy a garment that fits, But it's also the small things in life such as:

*  expecting and being given a decent generous sized gown when attending hospital or having to have an x-ray or mammogram

*  being able to sit comfortably in a long-haul bus or plane and to have the pleasure of being able to lower the food tray so that it sits nicely on our lap (it's up to the engineers to figure that one out!)

*  being able to visit a beauty therapist knowing that the bench will be wide and stron enough to hold the client

*  being able to attend a gym for work-outs knowing that there will be no sniggering or giggling by other participants - because the programme will have been styled and planned with the larger person in mind

*  being able to go swimming without any rude remakrs by ignorant people around

*  being able to relax and enjoy a meal and the surroundings at a favourite restaurant without innuendoes (said and unsaid) from other guests and staff about the choice of food or the amount of food eaten (who's to know that you haven't "fasted" for two days knowing tht you were going out for a special occasion and wanted to enjoy everything about that outing?)

*  being able to find chairs in cafes and restaurants that are decently designed and more especially strong enough to hold ANYbody let alone a person with more generous ampleness.

It's no longer acceptable that the plus-size be blamed for their size as to why they're never comfortable in these places - just look at some of the types of chairs available in local coffee shops as well as up-market restaurants and you'll see what I mean.  Including the ubiquitous plastic chairs.   They are made cheaply and they can be downright dangerous to sit on, for anyone heavier than a three year old!

Maybe there's a long way to go - so?

There's a long way to go and we're in for the long haul.  We realise that.  But we're still enthused and filled with anticipation.   For we only need to look at may of the websites and blogs of younger women who have been faced with the same ostracism and discrimination that we've been privy to over decades but who have had the courage to say - Whoa!  No more.

Do we actually realise we have more opportunities to be heard today than a any time in the past and we have the opportunity of having our stories and our opinions shared and read and debated upon.

But we need to get our act together.  What success will we have in breaking down the last BIG discrimination if we don't strive together?  What's the use of me standing up and telling everyone that I'm tired of being at the receiving end of rudeness and hypocrisy when I can't be heard above the clamour of the crowd?  It's only when like-minded women pool their frustrations and grievances, make lists of suggestions,  give their points of view and express their feelings, that anything will happen or will change.  We're standing centre-stage while the rest of the world looks on.  Let's get it right, first off.

The time is right, the mood is set, and it's up to us to pursue this endeavour with strength, determination, resilience and a sense of humour.

As the waterfall said to the rocks:

"Don't worry, I'll wear you down in time"

Wouldn't it be nice if we were all at that place where we can gleefully thumb our nose at fashion experts who tell us what we should and shouldn't wear (even if it was available out there in the marketplace), and add a sparkle of humour to inspire others to laugh, love and live life to its fullest - AND widest!  

And don't forget:

"It's in the travelling not in the arriving 

that acceptance is gained 

(even SELF acceptance!)"

© 2012 R Parry-Brock

Illusions!

Here are sixteen suggestions for the more curvaceous woman to look slimmer (or what I prefer to call more feminine lines).

Let's start off though with accepting the fact that "style" is not about age or size, it's more about establishing in your own mind clothes that will suit and work for YOU.

*  V-necks or deep scoop necks create the illusion of a longer body.  If you have a beautiful neck why not show it off?  High necks emphasise a large bust and while sometimes we like to do that, there are other times when the over-all effect of how we look is more important.

*  A tailored, sigle breasted pantsuit is more slimming than baggy layers.   (OK, even I succumb to baggy layers when I feel like it!).  But in the mean a darker shade, lengthens the torso and slims the hips.  Double breasted jackets add width to the look of the body.

*  Generously cut shirts, A-line tops and jackets/coats look great over slim or cropped pants.  Once again don't believe those who tell you you "shouldn't wear cropped pants".  If you like cropped pants, then wear them.  However the hint that the flowing tops will compliment slim pants still goes.  It's important though that the shirt, top or jacket covers the bottom and thighs.  Don't be content with any of these garments that sit on the hips or even hardly cover the waistline - the overall effect only emphasises the bits you're trying to disguise.  A shirt with a squared off hem and side splits creates a sharp and defined look.

*  Wear a shaped, not boxy jacket to emphasise curves.  This also applies to dresses or shirts with back ties that can be tightened creating a waist.   (Again have a look at the Igigi website to see what I mean by shaped dresses!).

*  Combining neutral coloured pants (black, brown, beige, even white) with brightly coloured tops move the eye away from the hips and thighs.

*  Avoid pleats on pants.  Wear flat-fronted rather than pleated trousers and with side, not front fastenings.

*  A long-line jacket is a must in all wardrobes.  It hides all the bits that you want to hide a little at any one time - big hips or thighs, big bottoms and big busts.

*  Match a dress with the same length coat, preferably worn just on or below the knee.  Play down everything else if you want to show off your legs.  And let's face it if you have good legs, do everything to show them off.

*  Wear a long time coat, to ankle length, over slim pants and shirt or tunic top.   Worn open, the coat gives you long-line elegance as you walk.

*  A clever strategy is to wear one colour from head to toe,  Lift the outfit by choose smart accessories.  A lovely scarf, chunky jewellery or matching shoes and handbag will draw attention away from any figure "problems".

*  Long sleeves (even in summer) hide the upper arms, while cuff details lengthen arms.

*  A dress can create a sleeker line.  Choose dresses with no tight waists that skim the body without clinging.

*  A beautifully draped sarong-style long skirt conceals the tummy and hips.   Great for the hot weather and surprisingly cool around the lower legs.

*  A-line or wrap skirts not only emphasise body length and hide thighs, but also give thighs extra room when seated.

*  The long-skirt is still a wardrobe must-have.  Wear it as long as possible, preferably on or just above the ankle.  Slightly A-line is best, as is a side split or a skirt with a lot of stretch.

*  Any fabric with stretch is an extremely comfortable option.  Look for this in shirts, pants, skirts or jackets.  It also can hold you firm in some areas.  Beware however those crepe-y stretch fabrics that can "suffocate" the body and add to especially hot discomfort.

For the women whose body has curves and a shape that doesn't fit the so-called "ideal" that the fashion industry and media demand of us, putting hints of this nature into practice not only adds to the way we see ourselves and how we stand and hold ourselves.  It also adds to our confidence.    For when we feel good, then we will look good.

"Accept your body - just as it is.  

Don't compare yourself to the 

unrealistically thin models 

on the catwalks or magazines,  

Be You."

© R Parry-Brock - with thanks to notes from New Idea grand illusions, nd

It looks like common sense is taking place!

As an early advocate of self-acceptance here in Australia, there have been times over the past 40 odd years that I have felt we, the plus-size or curavaceous of the world, were hitting our heads against a brick wall.  In fact many brick walls.

While the media and the fashion industry still have a long way to go in overcoming their discriminatory attitudes and lack of respect for the more generously endowed, the internet has made an incredible impact upon the thoughts of many open-minded and like-minded business women as to the need to adapt to meet the needs of the plus-size, rather than to pretend we should be kept in the background.

It still astounds me that "plus-size" providers and suppliers of fashion insist on using models who may at the most be size 14.   And slender 14's at that.   But it gives me great joy and satisfaction to see suppliers who have recognised the need and demand to model their clothes on women with generous curves.

Let me show you some:

The first three photos:   Penningtons(Canada) - unfortunately they do not ship to Australia - but it's the size of the models that I'm wanting you to view.

And Igigi (USA):

There's style, and then there's style!

While there's an overloading here in Melbourne of "burnt orange" and "acid green" colourings in a lot of the clothing that's being promoted at the moment, it's nice to see that in the USA, there are so many varieties of colour to choose from that your head can spin!

Manufacturers and retailers here in Australia tend to forget or overlook the fact that style and design is very important, but also as important is the choice of fabrics on offer.   Crepe and crepey materials abound, but I've yet to meet a "curvaceous woman" who feels this fabric is kind to her. With a little forethought and imagination classic styles can look stunning - and in that, the wearer looks stunning too!

Come on Australian manufacturers and retailers - get your act together!   With that said there are a few, and only a few, but we give free rein to promoting those particular manufacturers/providers within this blog.  It's the others we're talking to.

In the meantime feast your eyes on this lovely creation from Igigi.

Millie Vintage Polka Dot Dress

Feeling bored with your work dresses? Snag this ethereal beauty with its elongating print skirt in chiffon with ruching at the waist. The colors and cut are simply sublime - wear it to work, sunday brunch, day or night - it's a versatile summer style!

Designed and made in San Francisco, USA

And for a Corporate Look:

I've just found this lovely outfit from Pennington's of Canada - unfortunately they don't deliver to Australia, but it's the style that I wanted to show you.  Smart, neat and it doesn't need any fancy prettying up.  It tells it's own story.

Spring is here!

"Spring is here, the grass is 'ris, 

I wonders where the flowers is!"

This was old poem that kids used to say back in the 1940s and 1950s.   And the wonders of Spring have certainly arrived here in 2012, following a particularly cold and wet Winter time.

The sunshine makes you feel you want to celebrate.  Celebrate anything and everything.

And how better to celebrate than to buy a new outfit, or even think about mixing and matching what you already have in the wardrobe.

For those who want to buy something new, how about these from Anna Scholz

Or something to make heads turn from Igigi

The "leather" look

There's a misconception out there that curvaceous women shouldn't wear full skirts.  Well, in my humble opinion, we can wear anything we like (within reason of course), because we have every right to choose!   For too long we've been told we shouldn't wear this and we shouldn't wear that - but now is the time to decide for ourselves.

Jibri (USA) has this fantastic faux-leather skirt.   Feast your eyes on this, and visit their site to see more of their great clothing.

Imagination

You've got to give credit to Monif C (USA), not only for her incredible knack of creating clothing that is exciting for the more curvaceous woman, but for a number of other things too.

Amongst those are the fact that her models are exquisitely "rounded" while many other suppliers persist on using much thinner models.  Garments made for a plus-size woman do NOT look the same as they should when they're worn and modelled by someone who looks like a young adolescent!

This post is entitled "Imagination", and if you haven't yet heard of Monif C's Convertible Marilyn Dress when you haven't lived!   This particular garment wowed the world when it first appeared, and there's no ending to Monif C's variations.  She keeps on coming up trumps!

Here are two of her latest Marilyn dresses - aren't the colour combinations superb?

ONE DRESS, INFINITE POSSIBILITIES

The "Marilyn" Ruched Convertible Dress gives you the versatility of the convertible dress but with beautiful, figure flattering ruching. You can wrap this dress multiple ways! This one dress will stretch your wardrobe and give you a different dress for all of your upcoming occasions!    

Quirky!

I just love quirky clothes.  Clothes that make you smile.   Clothes that make you feel free and empowered to be who and what you are, without fear of judgement or ridicule.

The Carpenters Daughter has this new line which I think is absolutely gorgeous.  Stripes every-which-way, a great top, tiger leggings and a cami tunic which can be worn with so many other garments.  Sizes 12-24.

Tell me what you think?