What's this fascination with fascinators?

Have you noticed that "fascinators" are still fascinating women?   What is it about fascinators that appeal to women of all ages?   (And women don't seem to worry about the cost - some of them are around the $200-300 mark!)   And fascinators that sit hanging down over one ear compel me to question (and hold my breath) that they'll fall off if the breeze lifts!

Hats are beautiful creations that will set off an outfit to such an extent that people will look and say, "oooh", and "aaah".   A lot of fascinators look the same or at the least similar to each other.  But look at it the other way - there are craft shops that sell all the parts needed to make a personal fascinator, and there's something really pleasing about making something yourself.  A few feathers, some sequins, a flower or butterfly, a little veiling, and a glue gun, and you can create all sorts of wonderful fascinators.

So it looks as though fascinators are with us for while, and that's good, because "dressing up" needs to be for the whole person, not just the body, the feet and the hands.  A lovely dress, matching shoes and handbag will always be complimented by a lovely hat, be it a large flowery one or a feathery whimsical fascinator!

(Photos from the internet)

A long way from anywhere!

Yes, Australia is a long way from anywhere!   Even in today's age where air travel is fast.   So we don't get too many "celebrities" visiting.   I mean real celebrities, not current "singing sensations" or similar.  We get the occasional "Hollywood actor/actress" but that doesn't mean too much to the majority of people.

So the visit by Queen Elizabeth and the Duke of Edinburgh, while expected, who attended the opening of CHOGM in Perth a couple of days ago, took many of the commentators by surprise.  Not that they weren't expecting them, rather that the hundreds of thousands of people who lined the streets and airports to see their arrival and departure, argued the point that a lot of people had been saying, "there's not much interest in the Royal Family these days!"

Well!   The Monarchy, to those hundreds of thousands, and to millions of us who were watching television and reading newspapers and magazines, certainly is relevant today.

The underlying tone of journalists continues the thread set more than 50 years ago when she was crowned,  that the Queen is warm and gracious; she is knowledgeable; she is intensely interested in where she goes and who she speaks to and with; she is regal; she is, as one reporter wrote, able to be serious one moment and then she smiles and the recipient is made to feel as though she personally cares.

The Queen to many of us, represents stability (even taking into account all the shenanigans that some of the Royal Family get up to); and ethics.   She carries out her tasks with pride and elegance and at 85 astounds with her energy and exurberance.

We have watched her over the years grow into the role of Queen, at first tentatively but with compassion and a distinct awareness of responsibility (her first speech as Queen showed that!), and then through the years to the current day.  Her popularity is, it seems, almost as strong today as it was back in 1953.

This blog is written for women, about women, and we couldn't let the opportunity go by without including this post on the Queen, as she departs Australia in October 2011.

Spring Racing Carnival

Today the women of Melbourne are dressing up in their finery for the start of the Spring Racing Carnival.  (I'm writing this early Saturday afternoon, the 29th October).

While the weather is somewhat overcast, the infectious excitement that this season brings is easily seen in how the girls dress up.  I often wonder why women don't dress up all the year round, rather than just going all out just for the racing season.  

This morning though I've been a little surprised to see the majority of women dressing in black and white.  Now I don't know whether this was a prerequisite of being seen and interviewed, but I do hope that bright colours come into the picture as the season progresses.   On that subject though you'll see one lass wearing bright green with a pink hat - she obviously likes the idea of "block colours" that is a current trend.  Of course we used to describe this trend as merely "wearing contrasting colours", but there you go even the descriptions undergo changes themselves!

With that said however, and of course this blog is for women of ALL ages, ALL sizes and ALL shapes, let's have a quick look at a couple of outfits seen this morning.

Comfort food!

Well, that was an interesting post on comfort food we had recently.   I heard from a friend through Google, and a variety of emails from ladies from around Australia as well as from Europe.

It's interesting to hear what any one person thinks of as "comfort food".   Here are some of the suggestions, and I have to say, I was in total agreement when I saw that Macaroni and Cheese was high on the list.  Then there's Spaghetti Bolognaise; Lamb Shanks and vegetables; Home made Meatloaf; Chicken Snitzel; Egg and Bacon Pie:  Irish Stew and Dumplings: Bread and Butter Pudding; Chocolate Self Saucing Pudding; Crepes and Big Pancakes.    And of course as in our earlier post, Sausages and Mash1

It's also encouraging to hear that so many are now preparing meals at home rather than going out for dinner more than a couple of times a week.   It could be stretching the budget or it could be that more and more women are remembering what it was like when they were younger and they came home from achool and or work, to find warm nourishing meals placed on the table.  And those meals were prepared with love by their Mums and Grandmas.

(Photos from the Internet).

There's a feeling of Spring!

What strange weather we're having here in the Eastern States of Australia.   It's supposed to be Spring - well officially the 1st September is supposed to be the first day, but this year things seem to have gone a bit haywire.   While we've had a couple of beautiful days with bright skies, sun shining and a general feeling of wellness that is associated with better weather, the majority of days have skirted around the 12 to 15 degree mark (top temperature!), with one day in between of 30!

So much for being able to pack away the winter clothes and to bring out the spring/summery garments.

Yet there is some great plus-size fashion coming out at the moment, and in many cases, by Australian designers and suppliers.

Maggie T (http://www.maggiet.com.au) is a by-word when it comes to the understanding of what a more curvaceous woman needs when it comes to fashion.   She knows, because as she tells it, "I am one (plus-size, that is)!"

So here are a couple of the latest tops/jackets.  You'll notice that they sit below hip length, which is the length we all need, especially when we have those curvy "saddles".   A hip length jacket will always bring compliments, and the front view as well as profile will always encourage you to stay with sensible lengths, rather than above the waist or sitting on the hip!

Clothing Tips for Pear Shaped Figures ....

Sometimes it's better "seeing" than just reading or being told!

This is a great series of videos on "how to's" for the plus size.     http://www.ehow.com/video_4405359_clothing-tips-pear-shaped-figures.html

The 'lil' Black Dress

There's something about the little black dress that every woman desires.   It's a dress that can be "dressed up" or "dressed down", it all depends on what the occasion calls for.   This year Maggie T has come up with the goods.   Visit www.maggiet.com.au to see the latest selection.

But here's the little black dress I spoke about.

Comfort food!

There's "comfort food" and then there's "comfort food". And all of us, from the Prime Minister down to the old gentleman who lives down the street, has our favourites. Even people like Jamie Oliver and Nigella Lawson.

One that comes to mind easily is Sausages and Mashed Potatoes, or as it is more commonly or popularly known, "Bangers and Mash". I see where it has become the all out favourite in Britain particularly during the economic down-turn.

And whatever you may think, (and I can hear some of you say, yuk when you look at the photos), it is a delicious and filling meal. That is, if it is cooked properly and if it is presented properly.  And made from top quality ingredients.  Why even my dear old Mum was able to throw a couple of snags (sausages) on the plate with a dollop of mashed potato, and we kids would be straining at the bit to get stuck into "dinner".

I can't think of when I've been so disappointed at a serving of "comfort food.   Until I recently had a spot of lunch at Stallions, that is. There it was on the menu (for kids alas, but I've heard that anyone can ask for whatever's on the menu as an adult serving and expect to be served), so I figured, yes, it's bangers and mash for me today. Even if it's just a teeny tiny serve!  The wait-person checked and confirmed that I could be served with an adult size, and I sat back in eager anticipation.  I knew I'd have to pay, but it was going to be worth it.  Wasn't it?

Well it fronted up, and if I'd served this to my kids, they would have thrown the plate and its contents at me. The above photos tell a story and even though the four have come from the internet (with full acknowledgement to the owners of the photo copyrights) they also tell it how it is when it comes to serving up simple tucker like bangers and mash. Or how it should be. 

But take a good look at this photo - this is a photograph of the ACTUAL meal I was served. And before I go any further, please take note that this was an "ADULT" serving!

You'll see what I mean by "you don't always get what you expect" even though you pay for it. This meal cost me $15 - so what?  While McDonalds or KFC are known to have "affordable meals", there are many local places where you can buy a good meal (even 2 course, either soup and mains or mains and sweets) for just $13 in nice surroundings, accompanied by table linen, and a house wine (on the house). Why didn't I go to one of those? Simply because it's nice to try out something new. But again back to the photo. You can even see the "grease"or "fat" that the sausages had been cooked in, smeared across the plate (to the right). This serving and plate presentation, did not endear me to the restaurant at all.  Especially when I asked for a glass of cool water, and was told I'd have to buy a bottle.  I didn't want a bottle (a plastic bottle at that), I wanted a simple glass of cool water.  I didn't get one!

Needless to say I didn't have any lunch at this restaurant - I returned the Sausages and Mash with the comment that I certainly wouldn't recommend Stallions to any of my friends.   All I got was a snort of disapproval from the chef.

And what's this got to do with being a blog on a plus size site? Everything. Because all of us are consumers.  All of us keep these businesses in business.  All of us have to eat. It matters not that we are size zero or size 20 or 30. And sometimes we need a bit of "comfort food". But not greasy food (even the mash was sitting in grease!) thrown on a plate and served up as though it were part of King Henry VIII's banquet!  (If he'd been there, there'd would have been shouts of "off with their heads"!!!!)

We think we'll regularly re-visit the subject of food and "comfort food" a bit more often within this blog. There's nothing quite as good as a bit of constructive criticism!

Have you got any favourite places to dine out?   Let's share them.

Growing old and deserving to be treated with respect

It's difficult at times to convince yourself that what is happening around you, is actually for the best. You might get slapped down and trodden on, by people who you think really care about you, and you tend to blame yourself.

And sometimes the blame is deserved, but quite often not. It seems to me that there is a growing lack of courtesy and respect shown towards older people these days. Is it my imagination? Has it always been so? 

I don't think so. And I base this statement on what I have seen happen around me, not only within my own family, and extended family, but many others, over the years. In our family parents and grandparents all shared in the dignity of being considered important and worthy of respect, in both thought as well as speech by all members of the family, and even more especially by neighbours and the society in which they moved.

Today people up to and around 40 and 50 years of age, tend to "look down" on older folk, as though within their wrinkles and greying hair and slower painful steps, they've managed to lose all their intelligence! They also take the attitude that older people don't have "feelings" anymore and can't be hurt or offended by inappropriate attitudes or behaviour.  Sometimes their exasperation is extreme.

In different cultures around the world, older members within families and society were, and in many cases still are, seen to be the "wise ones". They are sought out to advise, and to give encouragement, to the younger members of family, based on their experience and knowledge of the world. Even if that knowledge only revolves around their home-life, and nearby neighborhood or community. 

Sadly there are a lot of people today who are never thought about by their families. They are left, isolated, and forgotten. Others are more fortunate enough in having the security of a home and financial backing. Today one seldom sees or hears of older parents or relations living within the warmth of the family circle. 

The speed and extent of the building of "retirement villages" has even surprised the developers/investors. Many loving and gracious elderly parents (even both sets of parents - that is parents and parents-in-law) who remain mobile and independent (i.e. not expecting to take precedence over other family members, are content to be part of the family when it is convenient for all to mingle and get together. It keeps them young! 

Yes, "retirement villages" are a viable and sensible option for thousands of "retirees" - if they prefer to be totally independent, and can afford to be, that is. So many men and women find themselves at the time their lives when they should be enjoying themselves, no fault of their own, to be almost penniless. Not every one can call upon the proceeds of "Superannuation" to provide financial security in purchasing a home unit within a "village" and being able to carry-on in a life-style that they have chosen or prefer.

Yet as people in the western world have become more affluent during past decades, the threat of a "recession" brings with it all sorts of stresses about where to live and how to afford to live, even very simply. And this applies more specifically to those who, as said earlier, have no financial security upon which to draw upon.

And this brings me back to what I said at first. being ignored, slapped down and trodden on. Because I don't like seeing older people treated with a total disregard for their feelings. I don't like seeing them ridiculed, and bullied, and spoken to as though they are naughty children. They deserve the right to be able to stand with head held high, and to be given the respect that their age and wisdom and experience demands.

And because this is a long "post", I can't but help add my observations of many younger women (in their teens and 20s etc) who display the old-fashioned courtesies and respect that older people so earnestly desire.   Is it perhaps that those in their 40s and 50s are so busy with life that they can't or don't want to spend time with their elders and that the younger people have seen the void and actually taken steps to fill that void?   I'd like to think so. 

Pretty Petties!

I recently spoke with a young woman who had done one of those Buy From Op Shops Bus Trip.   Most ladies who go on these bus trips look for "current fashion" bargains.

So I was surprised with Bec mentioned that she had only looked for, and bought, vintage clothing.  And one particular item of clothing at that.

Are there any readers who recall the full skirted dresses that had petticoats as part of the garment; as well as those lovely white lawn full skirted petticoats that were full of interesting embellishments.  Lace inserts; mock quilting; threaded ribbon around the hem and down the skirt itself; even embroidery in tones of white as well as full colour embroidery in Coates silk threads?

Well Bec had a VERY successful day she told me - she'd found not one, not two, but eight different petticoats, and she was ecstatic (as one would be!).   These petticoats are not for wearing under her vintage 1950s dresses - oh, no, they're to be worn as skirts in their own right.   Those that are plain Bec intends embroidering and adding lace panels and highlights.

It just goes to show that looking at garments from a different perspective, opens new and exciting ways of dressing. Bec has a couple of those teasing waist cinchers - tight elastic with a buckle, and because she is curvy, with a defined waist, she's going to wow everyone who sees her wearing her petticoat collection.

16 Plus Market Day at Seaford

Further to my earlier email, I attended - well actually shared a stall,  at a Size 16 plus Market yesterday, held at the Seaford Life Saving Club Rooms by Janine Mison of Real Women Australia Pty Ltd.

The weather which started out with grey skies took a bad turn into lashing rain and then hail but that certainly didn't dampen the spirits of the ladies who had taken up stalls to display their garments and accessories.  The temperatures were low, but the attitude of everyone who attended was high.

This was an occasion where literally thousands of garments (many of them new with their original swing tags) were presented in the always hard to find range of size 16 plus.  Many garments were in the higher range from 24 through to 30, and buyers took advantage of the many specials.

Most of the garments were priced within the $5, $10, $20 range, with some spectacular garments a little higher in price.   There was even an exquisite Deb frock on sale.

Casual garments, dress-up outfits, leather coats, beautiful lingerie, shoes, boots, handbags, hats and costume jewellery were all featured.

It is hoped that this will become regular event, held around Melbourne in different areas, especially during the warmer months.   I would recommend that when you see one of these special days advertised, that you take the opportunity of adding to your wardrobe for a very reasonable cost, and to have a great time choosing special garments.  You'll meet some fantastic women as well.

Even consider booking a stall yourself to sell some of your pre-loved clothing - and to make room for more purchases!   Who needs an excuse to buy something beautiful?

Full Figured Fashion Shows

A highly publicised fashion event such as the Full Figured Fashion Week held in the US shows how professional such an event can be.  And should be.

I've attended a number of similar "Plus-Size" Fashion events over the years both here in the Eastern States as well as in Perth Western Australia, and in my humble opinion the women who organise these events in Victoria particularly need to study, before throwing these events,  the focus audience situation a lot more deeply than they apparently do and to expand their thoughts into incorporating as many clothing suppliers as possible.

Fun, jokes and laughter have to be a part of the evening (or afternoon) events;  but there has to be a balance between humorous and series.    I say this respectfully because those few that I've attended in the Eastern States have been spoiled by the fact that the women in charge, including the models, seem intent of making fun of themselves and the garments they wear, rather than taking pride in the fact that they are curvaceous women wearing beautiful, flattering garments.   What I found was that they denigrated themselves rather than promoted the fact that they are beautiful, sensual women.

I'm not taking sides (ie. Eastern States versus West) but the Perth Breakfasts and Dinners that combined with plus-size fashion shows, were done professionally and their audiences and guests always included people like you and me, as well as buyers from the major retail stores, representatives from leading labels, as well as a sprinkling of business and professional women from that City.   Bridal salons, boutiques and smaller specialised clothing stores all took a part in these events, by taking up the opportunity of displaying some of their garments in a room set aside for that purpose.   This meant that everyone has the opportunity of seeing what was available in Perth through its stores and boutiques, and might I add, a number of top-flight dressmakers also displayed some of their special garments.   Orders were placed for items of interest, and appointments made to visit salons or dressmakers rooms to discuss possible garments.

An interesting point about the Perth shows also was that many Eastern States labels were highlighted at the Perth events;  the companies obviously saw the advantage of displaying their clothes over in the West.

Travelling in comfort for the plus-size!

About this time last year I made a quick visit to Sydney.  A surprise visit to share in my brother's birthday celebrations! I had a wonderful time, even though I only spent two days in Sydney. While I had left Melbourne having grey skies and rain, I arrived in Sydney to find even more grey skies, rain and bitterly cold. But that certainly didn't dampen my spirits!

But I thought you'd like to know something about air travel today. In the past even travelling by the more expensive airline Qantas I've had to request a seat belt extender. In fact a number of longer trips I've done to the West I was most uncomfortable with Qantas - it was almost as though the seating had shrunk from the previous time I'd flown with them!

But on other occasions I travelled with Virgin Blue and found the seating comfortable and the seat belts were sufficiently long enough to enfold my ample curves!

The same this time. I did request a seat belt extender as I entered the plane, but I found to my delight that when seated, the seat belt once again fitted! I was ecstatic!

I'm a great observer of people and situations, as you probably are aware by now, and I saw many business men of ample size and sort-of-ample sizes who fitted in comfortably to the Virgin Blue seats. Suffice to say I've heard from many other businessmen that they have had a few difficulties when travelling with Qantas over time too.

Is it that Virgin Blue have realised their seating is required for slightly wider, taller and heavier passengers these days? Whatever the answer, I have to say the trip to Sydney and back was great! (Even taking into account the fact we flew through storms both ways).

Have you noticed?

What do you think about the design and variety of clothes for the plus size woman?

I'm particularly interested in the perspective from an Australian point of view. Each season my hopes build up that we're going to see some really good styles, good colours and good fabrics. And each year, I have to admit I experience a little disappointment. Not that everything on sale is bad, but the majority I have to say lacks imagination.

Even some of the better labels seem to be undergoing a shrinkage phase. By that I mean shirts and tops are no longer tunic length or knee length or even mid-thigh length. They're back up around the waist or four inches lower. Now these may look good in photos, especially when they're modelled by women who have a nice figure (and let's face it, many plus size women do have nice figures and even dare I say it, flat tummies). But for the rest of us, there comes a time when a "saddle" appears. It sits nicely between the waist and the thighs and it can range from being a "bit" to a darn LOT.

This means that the shirts and tops might sit nicely around the bustline and even the waist, but .............. The lower your eyes take in the reflection of the garment in a long mirror, it's obvious to all and sundry that this saddle is protruding under and beyond the shape of the top or shirt. How many plus size women look at the profile or side view in the dressing room mirrors at stores these days? How many plus size women look at the rear view reflection in the dressing room mirrors these days?  And how many women have a full length mirror in their home these days?  Come on, be honest. A lot of women we know NEVER look at the side or rear view.  

Not doing so has a couple of consequences. They don't see themselves as others see them. And they do a dis-service to themselves by not being aware of how the garment looks. Because I think it's about time we showed the courage of our convictions and made stores and retailers aware that we're NOT happy with garments that they sell, and which are NOT made according to most of our needs.

As a postscript to this post, I'd also like to add my comment relative to the fabric we see everywhere today. There's something called "mesh" which is being sold through the small discount outlets in shopping malls, and this fabric is also seen in the much more expensive lines being sold through the major retailers. It's used as tops, and as a top layer in skirts and pants. It may well be a practical fabric, but it certainly is not an attractive fabric. It looks what it is - a second class stretchy fabric that pretends to be a good quality material. It really isn't. It stretches - sure. But it also goes out of shape. It also tears easily, and a number of women associated with our newsletters have complained that inadvertently they've managed to tear holes in this mesh fabric even by putting the garment on. I don't know where this fabric is "made" but it sure doesn't appear to be made locally. For a country known around the world as the grower and supplier of beautiful cottons, linens and fine wools, we're subjected to some mighty awful fabrics here.

I'd like to hear what ladies in other countries think.

© 2011 Autumn P of Victoria

Those dratted scales!

No I'm not talking about music scales,

but the dratted weighing machines

If you're anything like me, you've probably thrown out your bathroom scales years ago - they're certainly not our friends and will take great delight in belittling us and our "feelings".

But I'm talking about when you do to the Doctors, or even more importantly, if you have need to go to hospital for any reason. That might be from getting an eyelash taken from the corner of your eye, to major surgery. They will at some time during the admission process, weigh you.

Now, don't get me wrong. I realise they need to know your weight, if only for the reason of how much anaesthetic to give you, should you need surgery. But I don't like the way many nurses seem to find enjoyment in loudly repeating your weight as they take notes. It's not as though everyone in the hospital is deaf, surely.

I'm sure you can tell many stories about inconsiderate hospital staff. I've had nurses very quietly look at the scales and make a note, and I've had strident nurses bellow once if not twice my weight as they write it down. Do I sense a fiendish satisfaction in their faces as they do their best to embarrass me?

I've been caught up with the obnoxious BMI debate and I'll not go into that at the moment, but the way in which plus size women are treated by a lot of hospital and clinic staff is no longer tolerable, in my opinion. It's time for us to stand up for who and what we believe in - ourselves, and actually say what we think - without being militant or nasty, that is.

So I've composed a short letter - constructive criticism I call it - that I attach to my medical details whenever I have to change clinics, or attend hospitals for checkups and so forth. I set out the fact that I am an adult woman, larger than some and smaller than others, and that my weight is very personal. I point out that I have learned to live with my weight, and that should it be necessary for staff to check/recheck my weight, then could they please give me the courtesy of doing it quietly. That would prevent me becoming embarrassed, not by my weight but by their rudeness, and it would allow them to do their job competently and efficiently. They'd have the numbers or figures they need, and there'd be two happy people. Me and them (the nurse and the hospital).

Updating some of your favourite garments

Further to our blog on getting your favourite clothes "altered" to fit your ever changing body shapes, here are a few tips.

1. Find someone who has expert knowledge and is competent in all aspects of sewing, not just hems and simple quick fix solutions.

2. Find clothes from within your own wardrobe that can be brought up to date by changing the hem length, taking the garment in or re-shaping the shoulders. Subtle alterations can make clothes look more "fashionable".

3. Don't personally do complicated alterations unless you're confident in your skills. However even if you try and can't finish the work, hand it over to a professional.

4. Before you alter new cotton clothing or a pair of jeans, wash or dry-clean them first according to the label to allow for shrinkage.

5. When you hem, pin both legs as one leg can be shorter than the other. Get someone else to pin your clothes.

6. Look into getting something tailor made for your size and shape. It may not be as expensive as you think.

For those of us who ARE plus-size, the advice in point 6 is really wise. Too often we spend time and energy in searching for something that we have a good idea on what we really want, only to take on second best. And even then it may need alterations.

Therefore if you have nice fabric and even a pattern (not necessarily in your size), take it along and have a chat with someone who you've seen or heard recommended as a dressmaker or "alteration" expert. Talk to them about what you'd like as far as a tailored garment to suit YOUR body and shape.

We know it sometimes takes a while to find someone who "understands" the more curvaceous figure, but a really good dressmaker is worth more than her weight in gold.

Fashion Makeover

Do you have clothing in your wardrobe that you've grown out of? Or perhaps find some of them to be too big?

There's no doubt our bodies change shape over the years, and while we may not actually "lose" weight, often we will notice that our clothes don't quite fit the way they used to, or should do. Following pregnancy and the birth of a baby quite a few clothes need to be altered too, and this can help the budget especially when the garments are favourites.

While it's expensive to have your own personal dressmaker, a lot of women have taken up the challenge and now offer "alteration services". These range from sewing hems on jeans, pants, skirts as well as putting new elastic around the waistlines. However, a lot of these people actually do dressmaking and have found a valuable market in providing their services to the every-day woman who wants to upgrade her wardrobe without having to buy new clothes.

As a very proficient, qualified dressmaker said recently, "knowing someone's body and shape is the key to doing good alterations work". A good alteration expert can tell if the shoulder is dropped and the hip is high and remake garments taking into account all the important aspects of a good fitting garment.

Suggestions may range from changing a hemline by not merely following the fashion, but looking at the vertical line of their height and to judge according to the hemline, and that good tailoring makes it more fashionable. Adding darts can make all the difference from a dowdy looking garment to a smart, stylish fitted garment - even if you are plus size!

Above all, tailoring to YOUR body can better the look of the garment, making it appear superior in quality and cut.

"It doesn't have to be Chanel - it can be Target. But if it fits well, you look good and you feel good", says Frances Le-Caria of Camberwell, Victoria.

Growing older - does it mean falling off the perch?

There are days when getting up out of bed is a breeze!   You throw off the bed covers, and spritely stand up, ready to face the day.   You quickly shower (it doesn't take as much time when you feel bright like this than other days when everything is grey!); you get dressed, do your hair and apply your makeup, and begin the day's activities.  You're filled with the joy of standing upright, not being reminded of the arthritic aches and pains.  You're alert and eager to be and do things.  You may have planned the entire day or else of a mind to allow everything to just happen spontaneously.

Then there are those grey days I spoke about.  It's not only the skies that are grey, but the feeling that you're not really inclined to stagger out of bed.  You're not too keen to bother with the shower at such an early hour;  choosing what you're going to wear is a bit of a hassle (why not just toss on what you wore yesterday?).  As for doing your hair and putting on some makeup - well, why bother?

We all experience these types of days.   For some of us, it's easier to complain about the "grey days" and accept the good days without a thought as to our own personal attitudes.  

Because if doesn't matter if you're growing older, or only a teenager, there are always going to be "grey" days and good days.   It's all a matter of fact.   It's what we do with the variances that is important.

I know a person or two who complain about everything.  Honestly.  They complain about the fact that the kettle doesn't boil water the same from one day to the next (how they figure this out I really don't know!).  They complain about the television programmes not being to their liking (they're too darned lazy to turn the TV off!);  they complain about their neighbours ("their kids make so much noise" - well!  let's face it, the world would be worse off if the children never said anything or giggled or laughed or sang or played); the bread doesn't taste the same as it used to;  they don't like Mrs so and so who lives over the road;  they whinge about the grass growing in the backyard;  the traffic congestion morning and night puta them in a bad mood that lasts the entire day; they need a hair trim but can't fit it in with all their other busy-ness;  the teenagers are hassling them about this, that and the other; and the dog needs a bath.  In other words they're very unhappy, and sadly embittered people.

Then there are those people who start the day off singing.  I'd like to be seen and known as one of these people.   Because even though it might not have any influence on those around us, it most certainly influences how well I see myself and my world.   And there's no reason to suspect that falling off a perch is something a growing older person HAS to worry about!   Hanging on to that perch is not only adventurous and brave, it's downright exciting.

Nothing to wear to the office?

Well, many of us have said this over the years.  And quite honestly it was difficult to find clothing that spoke of  "professional woman" - up until recently that is.   No matter what we chose to wear, there were always comments that we dressed too frilly or feminine or else tried to emulate the male attire.   Such as suits - jackets and pants, and plain shirts, even wearing a tie to smarten things up a bit.  But even though we got a fair bit of flak, we persevered.

For the professional woman of the early 21st Century though, there are garments aplenty.  And these garments make a definite statement.  "I am a professional woman, working in the area of ........., and I dress according to my personal choices and I look and feel good."   More importantly, today's woman KNOWS what she likes, and she follows her instincts that she's learned will always tell her the right thing, especially when it comes to personal style.

Take for example, this beautiful dress from Igigi, http://www.igigi.com  Quite a sensational look.

Fat Jibes!

I read with interest an article dealing with "fat jibes", by authors Rebecca Puhl and Kelly Brownell, both from Yale.

It seems research has found that making people feel bad about their size and/or weight is not the way to go. It's counter-productive. There is a wide-spread belief that making people feel bad about themselves (i.e. attaching your fat photograph on the frig) is an acceptable and effective form of motivation. It isn't.

Victimisation (for that's what it is) amongst youngsters creates a no-win situation for them. This type of stigma doesn't work, and most of us know some of the consequences of being treated this way.

I bet most of us can confirm derogatory comments whether in the family, amongst our (so-called) friends and at work. Think of job discrimination. Do we get the promotion without having to undergo rigorous processes when many younger and slimmer people get into the short-list quickly and easily and it's NOT always that they're better at the job. Oh no! Even physical aggression. now, this is one of those "hidden" things that go on, but most of us again, will confirm that we've been subjected to this sort of treatment. We know all this because most of us have gone through this sort of unreasonable behaviour by others.

But the article quoted: "the personal stories we've collected in our studies are heartbreaking; a mother joking in a crowded room that she takes her child to a tentmaker to buy back-to-school clothes; a doctor telling a patient that she is too fat to interest her husband sexually; a teacher announcing to a classroom that an absent child 'probably stayed home to eat'".

These stories reflect a viciousness long ago shunned in matters of race or gender. Here, though, is a perverse twist. People inflicting the stigma are often convinced they are actually helping the victim.

The authors say, "We all need to change and the first step is simple. We must recognise that weight stigma is harmful, that it may well be contributing to obesity, and that it is not legitimate."

Health care professionals including doctors and nurses, dietitians and nutritionists and others within the health arena are very often the perpetrators of this stigma.

What I found of particular interest in this article was the statement, If even the health care system is unwelcoming, where can the obese turn for help?"

Where? Well a lot of us find help and encouragement (in verbal terms) from other people who are in the same predicament as us. It's by joining forces that we can find companionship and understanding.

Finding your own style!

It's not difficult to establish your own style, if you put your mind to it.

Often it's easier to just buy "anything" that might fit, wear it and then become dissatisfied as to how you "feel" when wearing that garment.   It's doesn't take too much to realise that we often buy something that isn't the right design; isn't the right colour; and the fabric doesn't do justice to our shape.

Yet, we often make the same mistake over and over.

There are many books on the subject of "style" and how to choose what to wear to suit our own personalities.  Of course these days there are thousands of blogs about the same subject, but it's nice to work out our own "style", based on what we like and how we can manipulate what we like into what we look and feel good in wearing.

It's setting our sights on trusting our own instincts, following those instincts and building up our confidence in knowing exactly what our personal style is, and can be.

The numbers of good suppliers of clothing for the curvaceous woman are increasing.  Yes, there are more and more in the marketplace each month.  And this is good - for them, and for us.

Take a moment to visit http://www.dreamdiva.com.au  For the woman in her 30s and older, she will immediately see an interesting return to some of our favourite designs and styles of the 50s and 60s (even from photos of her mother and grandmother's time).  That was before Twiggy turned the world upside down and our lives with it!  *  Not that Twiggy went out of her way to do so, it's just that she was (and is) a naturally very thin woman, yet the media took her"look" and insisted that we should all try and emulate her.  The same applies in many ways today, but women everywhere are questioning why we should all diet to become something we're not, so that we fit into clothes that we may not necessarily think will suit us.  And the dress designers and suppliers who, in the main, are managed by women who are curvaceous themselves, and stepping out and bringing us some stunning and flattering clothing.

Even the dress below reminds us of the 50s and 60s with its generous fluid lines around the body - maybe we didn't go for kerchief hemlines back then, but that's the only difference.